Лучшие смешные рассказы / Best Funny Stories

woman, he liked to appear and say: “Come along, we’re going to play literary consequences.[83] He was dragging you to the table, and putting a piece of paper and a pencil before you. He was asking you to write a description of your favourite heroine in fiction, and he checked if you really did it.

He worked a lot. It was always he who volunteered to escort the old ladies to the station, and who never left them until he had placed them safely into the wrong train. He played “wild beasts” with the children, and frighten them enormously.

So he was the kindest man in the world. He never visited poor sick persons without something in his pocket, some little delicacy which was forbidden by the doctor and which mad them worse. He loved to manage a wedding. Once he planned matters so that the bride arrived three-quarters of an hour before the groom, and that was a terrible day for her, and once he forgot the clergyman. But he was always ready to admit when he made a mistake.

At funerals, also, he was pointing out to the grief-stricken[84] relatives how much better it was for all that the man was dead, and expressing a pious hope that they would soon join him.

The best delight of his life, however, was to take part in other people’s quarrels. No quarrel was complete without him. He generally came in as mediator,[85] and finished as a witness.

As a journalist or politician his wonderful grasp of other people’s business could help him a lot. But the error he made was like this: he was trying to work it out in practice.[86]

Упражнения

1. Выберите правильный вариант:

1. I paid only fifty pounds: original fourteen and tenpence.

2. I paid only thirty pounds: original fourteen and tenpence.

3. I paid only sixty pounds: original fourteen and tenpence.

4. I paid only ten pounds: original fourteen and tenpence.

ОТВЕТ: I paid only fifty pounds: original fourteen and tenpence.

2. What was the name of the man who would manage?

1. Poppletone

2. Peopleton

3. Poppleton

4. Pappleton

ОТВЕТ: Poppleton

3. When Poppleton was trying to teach a frog to swim, how old was he?

1. 4 years old

2. 5 years old

3. 10 years old

4. 3 years old

ОТВЕТ: 3 years old

4. What is a school treat?

1. a small talk

2. an excursion at which people eat meal outdoors

3. a sport competition

4. a discussion

ОТВЕТ: an excursion at which people eat meal outdoors

5. The game “literary consequences” is connected with…

1. biology

2. geography

3. English language

4. literature

ОТВЕТ: literature

6. Who is the magistrate?

1. a police officer

2. a golf-player

3. an officer who administers the law