Once, during breakfast, I found that I can not keep a tablespoon at all - a huge lump flared on my right palm. In a panic, I ran to Sveta Samoilova, who immediately pronounced her disappointing "verdict": "Seryozha, it's bad! You have torn the inner corn and formed a vast abscess. We must urgently operate, otherwise we can lose the whole hand. Here, in the field, I will not risk doing this operation on your "precious hand". Go to the city, and it's urgent! "Yes, why did Bozhenka get so angry with me that I did such a thing to him, seditious - it's the second time in a year that I have to lie under the surgeon's knife!
Arriving in Barnaul, I immediately, at full speed, rushed to the already familiar to me the second clinic, where this time I received an elderly doctor, a man. "It's okay," he said optimistically and assigned me a warm-up for UHF. And by the evening the hand "diluted" already on the wrist itself. "Seryozha, you can not pull until Monday," my grandmother said, looking at her hand anxiously, "now it's Friday, for two weekend abscesses it will rise to the elbow. It is necessary to cut, and immediately, but it will be very painful. I just nodded my head in silence. Brother Zhenya, who was just 12 years old, was sitting with interest next to him, waiting for a soul-stirring spectacle. Grandmother wiped off the nail scissors with her alcohol, worked her hand, and with a lightning movement of her hand she cut out to me a pretty decent piece of inflamed flesh. In my eyes it turned dark, and Zhenka shouted loudly: "What are you doing, it hurts!" I ran to the toilet and immediately vomited from the pain. When I returned, my grandmother began to force me to squeeze out pus from my palm, and then forced me to lower my hand into the hot brine.
When I came to the clinic on Monday morning, he looked jealously at my renewed, almost healthy hand and asked, obviously wounded: "Who did you have the operation for?" "Grandma, she's also a surgeon!" I replied. "Well done," - only and could say this doctor - a loser.
During this ill-fated construction team, I again had to turn to Sveta for medical help. And it was so.
One day, together with Sasha Safronov, a rare drunkard and a drunken fellow from my own academic group, I went to the nearest nook to feast on strawberries, which scattered all the surrounding meadows like precious nuggets in a plentiful scattering. After eating enough strawberries, we began to frolic fun in the sun, as is usual in such cases, throwing a jagged berry into each other. And then they began to fight noisily and to ride on the emerald grass, as if they were jokingly disheveled cubs, covering their bodies with abundant ruby drops from the crushed under our weight of meadow strawberries. However, the severe payment for this childish prank and frivolity soon did not keep itself waiting. Returning to the camp, I was horrified to find three hefty ticks, a "dead" grip on the scrotum. "Valera, what should I do?" - almost crying, I turned to Valery Khmykin, our unconditional "authority" in the construction team and just a reliable friend, showing him his scaly swelling from the tick bites. "Yes, however! Eka "thrashed you," Valera said sympathetically, and apparently wanting to at least somehow reassure me, he added: "You, Serega, do not worry much about your eggs; You know how I was bitten by one bl ... at the Moscow Olympic Games in 1980 - still hiccups noisily, as I recall. We stood then in patrol with one sergeant from Novosibirsk in the Gorky Park of Culture. Us, "Pepsi" (the author - PPS patrol service) then in Moscow from all over the country chased. We go in the night through the park, not a soul around; Suddenly, we hear - somewhere the woman yells! We are friends in the bushes and we see: a woman is lying, and two naked peasants "treat" her. Here are such unsightly, "scotomogilnye" affairs (it was his favorite expression)! We both thought then - in the park commit group rape. One muzhik, the fact that the woman, I did not think for a long time, shoved the handle of the pistol on the head, so much so that he lost consciousness. I chased after the second, but he hid somewhere, naked, in the bushes. My friend, as in a stupor, all this time stood side by side, open-mouthed, and simply watched as I heroically deal with the "gang of maniacs". A woman, instead of gratitude, tells us, very angrily: "Have you done anything, garbage? Say, we had everything here by voluntary consent, and you almost killed my fuck! "It turned out that this" holy trinity "was working in some Moscow research institute, and each weekend arranged for itself a" great erotic show ". It was my turn to get angry. "Well, then suck," I say, "a bitch, for a" false challenge! "So she" sucked "," biting "her cock with all her heart, so that I would continue to be polite with the ladies. Such a story happened, and you say: "My eggs, eggs! Member - that's it! "Very much I was amused and a little calmed by this" instructive "story of Valery Khmykin.
My situation was "worse than the governor's" - after all, we should not show our "economy" to our doctor Sveta Samoylova, to whom I had such tender and sublime feelings. But there was nothing to do-it was necessary, after all, to go to the medical unit. Sveta listened attentively, gave threads and petroleum jelly, explaining how to extract ticks from such tender flesh. And
