“That’s not always true,” he answered quietly.
As Tyranny approached, she tossed her cigarillo into the sea. She gave Rafe a respectful look.
“Would you please excuse us?” she asked. “I need to speak with theJin’Sai. ”
Rafe bowed. “Of course, Captain,” he answered. He offered Tristan a final pull on his jug. After Tristan declined, Rafe walked away.
Tyranny turned to look out over the shifting ocean. “There is something I need to tell you,” she said quietly. When she turned around her eyes searched his face, like she was trying to guess his feelings.
Tristan suspected what was coming. If he was right, this would be hard for her. She could use a sword and command an oceangoing vessel with the best of them. But when it came to showing her innermost emotions she oftentimes faltered, just as he did. Rather than ask, he decided to let her take her time. Quiet moments passed.
“I love you,” she said simply, honestly. As she spoke, he saw a glimmer of hope flash in her eyes.
“Forgive me,” she said. “The truth is that I simply can’t help it. It started slowly, that day I rescued you from one of Wulfgar’s slaver frigates. It has only grown since then. I’m sorry you lost Celeste. I loved her too, and I mean no disrespect to her memory. But I need to know how you feel about me.”
Aware that he was about to break her heart, Tristan closed his eyes for a moment.
“I understand, but we can’t be together that way,” he said, trying to tell her as gently as he could. “I care for you, you know that. But my heart still searches.”
He sensed her pain, and he could tell that she was bravely trying not to cry. True to her nature she blinked hard, conquering her impending tears.
“Is it because I serve on the Conclave?” she asked. “That didn’t keep you from loving Celeste.”
“I know,” he answered. “But that is precisely why it cannot happen again. Celeste died while on a Conclave mission that I commanded. In some ways, I will forever carry that guilt. For everyone’s benefit, I simply cannot place my heart-or another Conclave member’s heart-in that position again.”
Reaching out, he placed one palm against her cheek. As he felt her tears run among his fingers, she closed her eyes and reached up to press his hand closer.
He knew that telling her this way-rather than reminding her of what they each knew to be true-would be the kindest. When Tristan had found the Scroll Master, the young man had told him that there would be another woman for him, and that he would know her when he saw her. She would be the true love of his life, and she would bear his children. Since that day he had known that Tyranny was not the one. Nor was Yasmin, who had so unknowingly helped restore his heart.
“I want you to know that had we met in another place or time, things might have been different between us,” he said. “There will always be that much. As it is, I can only ask that you respect my feelings.”
Tyranny nodded and swallowed hard. “My heart suspected that this was how it would be,” she said. “But I had to know.”
She took a deep breath and gave him another searching look. Coming closer, she kissed his cheek.
“I hope you find her, Jin’Sai, ” she said softly. “Whoever she is, she’s a lucky woman.”
Saying nothing more, she turned and walked away. After watching her go, Tristan turned and looked back at the moonlit Sea of Whispers.
Whoever she is, he thought, echoing Tyranny’s parting words. But will I ever find her?
TheJin’Sai remained alone at the ship’s rail for a long time, wondering.
CHAPTER LX
DAWN WAS COMING QUIETLY TO PARTHALON, BUT EVERYONEtaking refuge in the Recluse knew that the peacefulness would not last. The coming day would be momentous.
Serena stood quietly in her private chambers. Outside her balcony, the sun crept above the eastern horizon, flooding the inky sky with light. Einar and Reznik were there with her.
Serena walked over to the pink marble altar. Clarice still lay atop it, but today no red rose petals adorned the floor, the altar, or her corpse. Their scent could interfere with his formula, Reznik had warned. As an added precaution, the dead child was naked.
As she reached down to touch Clarice’s face, Serena shivered with fear and joy alike as she thought about what would soon happen. Her two servants knew better than to intrude on her private thoughts during moments such as this. Their queen had suffered much to see this day. This would be done in her way, and in her time.
Early yesterday Einar had hurried to her bearing the good news. We have done it! he said. Failee’s spell and Reznik’s accompanying potion were finally ready. They had tried it on the last five lepers remaining at the Recluse. After killing them, they had successfully revived each one.
At the queen’s insistence, five more subjects had been tested. But these persons had not been lepers. They had been female newborns, hastily abducted by Serena’s consuls from nearby towns and villages, and then flown to the Recluse by envelopers. Their terrified parents had fought back as best they could, but they stood little chance against the craft. Most died while trying to save their babies.
Under the queen’s merciless gaze, Einar and Reznik had strangled each of the wailing infants to death, then successfully brought them back to life. Only then did Serena agree to try the process on Clarice. The revived baby girls had been carried to the top of the fortress walls and tossed alive into the moat. The hungry shrews had devoured them greedily, leaving no evidence of the queen’s crimes.
Serena turned to look at Einar. She knew that time was of the essence, for the Heretics had been keeping her informed of theJin’Sai ’s quick progress across the sea. Only three hours ago they had again touched her mind to tell her that the fleet was sailing overland, and that Clarice must be brought back to life quickly. Einar and Reznik’s success had not come a moment too soon. The hiding shrews and camouflaged envelopers had also been warned of theJin’Sai ’s imminent arrival.
Serena glared into Einar’s eyes. “Are yousure?” she demanded.
Einar nodded. “As sure as we can be,” he answered. “More testing would be prudent, but we have no time. After we finish here we must see to the defense of the Recluse. Only when your child is revived and theJin’Sai has been destroyed can we finally relish our victory.”
“Very well,” she said. “You may start. But if you harm Clarice rather than give her life, I will kill you both.”
As Serena backed away, Einar and Reznik nervously approached the altar. Einar waved a hand, and Failee’s spell materialized in the air. It twinkled beautifully as it quietly hovered above the altar. As Reznik removed something from his butcher’s smock, Serena recognized it as a herbmaster’s sachet. Reznik placed the sachet on Clarice’s chest, then quietly backed away.
Einar started to recite Failee’s spell. Wispy smoke soon rose from the sachet and started to whirl into a little maelstrom. Then the maelstrom entered the skin of the child’s bare chest, leaving no mark. As they watched and waited, quiet reclaimed the room. Serena held her breath.
Suddenly Clarice’s chest started to rise and fall, and she coughed. Color quickly returned to her gray skin. Then her arms and legs wriggled about and she started crying. As tears streamed down her cheeks, she stretched her arms higher, and her blue eyes opened in an instinctual search for her mother.
Reznik looked over at Einar. Knowing better than to speak during this momentous event, Einar only smiled. The two servants humbly backed away.
Lunging for the altar, Serna lifted her squirming child and held her close. As she did, Clarice’s wispy, dark hair quietly brushed against the dead rose secured in Serena’s bosom.
Reunited at last, Serena’s heart cried out.
Crying, laughing, and then crying again, Serena turned to her mystics. Tears ran freely down her face.
“Well done,” she whispered.
She stood that way for some time, rocking her child and lovingly remembering the man who had fathered her. Clarice’s crying soon quieted into a soft gurgle.
Serena turned to the door and sharply called out. One of the trusted handmaidens she had brought from the Citadel obediently entered the room. Her name was Dagmar, and she would serve as Clarice’s nanny and wet nurse. She smiled when she saw the revived child. When Dagmar neared, Serena reluctantly handed Clarice to
