'Look I've got to go take some tennis lessons…' She choked on the lie, grinned foolishly. Stevie had let go her wrist and she was still standing there. 'That's what I told the folks to get the money.'
Her brother laughed. 'You're really too much.' He held the door wide. 'Well, aren't you coming in?'
Robin went in. The look of his chest, the lump his cock made in his shorts – it was all too excruciatingly real… all too present. Her hands were burning. She dried them on her jeans.
Steve cleared a chair of some wadded clothes and Robin sat down, hands between her knees. She gave him a hesitant smile. Why couldn't she keep her eyes off of his… off of the place where his skivvies bunched out? She only looked when he was looking somewhere else.
He went to put on some water for coffee and she watched the way his thigh muscles snaked, the way his back was so muscled just before it disappeared under the elastic band of his shorts. She'd known her brother so long and yet hadn't noticed these things in such detail before. His shoulders were beautiful too. Robin found herself breathing quickly. It was impossible to forget that she'd dug her fingertips at those very same shoulders. That the lump in his underwear had rubbed against her.
'I really should go…' She looked around the small studio apartment. There were some girly magazines and a few books. An ashtray with a corncob pipe and a baggie with some dark green shreds of something in the bottom. Grass. So he was smoking grass now. Big deal. She looked at him again, partly in envy, mostly with love. Love and envy mixed. He brought her cup of coffee.
She sipped it.
'I don't know what I'd do without you, Sis.'
Robin was noticing how much like her he looked. Blond instead of redheaded but with the same shortened features, the same eyes. Except that hers were gray green and his were blue. They even had freckles in the same spots. She was relaxing now. She didn't feel so threatened, so wrong for being in her brother's apartment.
'Wanta smoke some grass?' He was rolling a thin joint expertly, not looking at her.
'Naw. I got some things to do.' She had made it sound like she had plenty of chances to smoke marijuana. Robin had never been this close to it in her life.
'You smoked before?'
'Sure, I've smoked it.' She burned her own mouth on the coffee now.
'Then you know a toke wouldn't do much.' He sucked hard on the thin little cigarette he'd rolled. It glowed orange and a pungent odor wafted to Robin's nostrils.
She swallowed down the lump of fear in her throat. She wanted to be as hip as her brother, wanted to look good in his eyes. Watching him smoke the grass, thinking back on how much life they'd come through together, brought unexpected tears to Robin's eyes. God, she loved him. No matter what he'd done to her on the couch in the basement that afternoon, no matter how wrong it was… she loved her brother better than anyone in the world.
Robin sniffled and wiped her eyes before a tear could drip down her cheek. Thank God Steve hadn't noticed how mushy she'd gotten.
'Try some?' He held out the joint.
Robin took it before she thought. Then she shrugged and put the smoldering tiling to her lips. She didn't really have to take much. She pretended to suck like she'd seen Steve do. A tendril of hot smoke snaked deep into her lungs before she realized what had happened.
Steve was watching her closely, ready to kid her if she blew it. Bravely she held it in, pretended to take more and then handed the joint back to her brother. He lifted his eyebrows, tilted his head.
'I thought you were shittin' me. Where do you smoke grass anyway?'
'Around,' Robin lied, letting smoke puff from her nostrils.
'Want some more?' Steve had taken another lungful and was handing the joint her way again. She shook her head.
'I told you I had things to do!' She stood up. The room seemed so strange. She looked at the windows. They glowed with a special light, the sun doing things to the colors she had never noticed before. Was she high? The smoke couldn't have affected her that fast.
'This is good stuff,' Steve said. His voice sounded kind of far away. 'Supposed to be from Guatemala.'
Robin tittered, put a hand to her mouth. What was so damned funny about that? She remembered that she didn't want to hang around at Stevie's place long. But the urgency of leaving had been blown away by the funny smoke she'd let into her body. What was happening to her?
She started slowly toward the door, stopped. She felt lethargic, dizzy. She had to lie down for a second and get her thoughts straight. All kinds of strange ideas. She giggled again for no reason she could think of.
Steve came over and made a funny noise in her ear. She laughed, smiled at him. Nothing much seemed to matter.
'I've got to sit down…' she said with effort.
'Here… use the bed.' He took her by the elbow.
Robin followed obediently. It was easier to take the path of least resistance. The bed looked inviting. She lay back and crossed her beat-up tennies. They looked so far away from the rest of her body.
Steve sat on the edge of the bed. Robin closed her eyes. She could smell the smoke in her nostrils. Steve touched her shoulder.
No Steve, please don't touch me. Robin realized that she'd thought the words, not really spoken them.
'Steve…' His fingers were rubbing her shoulder now. They were warm. They were strong fingers. Her brother's fingers. 'Steve, would you help me walk to the bus stop?'
'No.' He giggled. His hand was moving down her shoulder, down her arm.
Robin wanted to open her eyes but was afraid. Afraid of her brother? She stared in panic at his smiling, pleasant face.
'Let me up.'
'I wasn't holding you down.' Steve laughed again.
He was right. She had wanted to rest. Her mind sounded like falling rain inside. Then she blinked and all was quiet. Steve touched her shoulder again. She let herself fall back on the pillow, closed her eyes.
'I really feel weird.'
Steve stroked her arm gently. God she loved him. He was such a sweet brother. She'd been happy to get that money for him, even if it meant lying to the folks.
'Robin.'
'What?'
'Nothing. I was just saying your name.' Steve breathed. His fingers tightened on her arm. 'You've gotten so pretty. It's like you've become some other person.'
Then he put his face against her cheek. Robin held her breath. Skyrockets exploded up and down her belly. She felt her cuntlips convulse as his lips brushed her neck wetly.
He was stroking her belly. What had happened to her shirt? Robin realized with panic that it had been unbuttoned and pulled back some.
'Oh God… God nooo!'
She struggled to get up, but Steve pushed her back on the bed. She was fighting hard now, trying to get her leg out from under the crook of his knee. But Stevie was so strong! And his hands… they were making her body feel so hot, so tingly weak.
'Steve… stop… Stop right now!'
She hadn't meant for this to happen. What was she doing on her brother's bed in her brother's apartment with him half on top of her anyway?
'Robin… I want you so bad, Robin. It's all I ever think of any more. The other day in the basement…'
'Oh Stevie, how could you even think such things. Don't you know we can't do anything like that… even if I wanted to.'
'You do want to. I can tell…'
'Noooo!'
His hands were moving again. Unbuttoning more of her shirt. Oh God he was exposing her tits!
'Steve! Stop!'
Then, even as she watched, Steve's head descended, his mouth opened and surrounded her tit. She couldn't
