'Damn it, I don't want an apology.'
'No? Well, that's good, because I think I'd choke on it. I really should get back to work, but before I go there's just one thing.' Deadly calm, Jackie picked up her glass of iced coffee and emptied it in his lap. 'See you at dinner.'
She worked like a maniac, barely noticing when Mrs. Grange came in to change the bed linen and dust the furniture. She was both amazed and infuriated at how close, how dangerously close, she'd been to tears. It wasn't that she minded shedding tears. There were times when she enjoyed nothing more than a wailing crying jag. But she knew that if she gave in to this one she wouldn't enjoy it a bit.
How could he have been so insensitive, so unfeeling, as to think she'd been offering him nothing more than sex, a quick afternoon romp? And how could she have been so stupid as to think she'd fallen in love?
Love took two people. She knew that. Wasn't she even now pouring her heart out in a story that involved two people's feelings and needs? And those feelings hadn't sprung out of a kiss but out of time and struggle.
Same old Jack, she accused herself. Still believing that everything in life came as easily as slipping off a log. She'd deserved a swift kick and had gotten one. But deserving or not, it didn't make it any less humiliating that Nathan had been the one to plant it.
Mrs. Grange cleared her throat for the third time as she fluffed Jackie's pillows. The minute the typewriter stilled, she stepped in.
'You sure do type fast,' she began. 'You do secretarial work?'
There was no reason to take out her foul mood on the housekeeper, Jackie reminded herself as she forced a smile. 'No, actually I'm writing a book.'
'Is that so?' Interested, Mrs. Grange walked to the foot of the bed to tug on the spread. 'I like a good story myself.'
Mrs. Grange was the first person Jackie had told about her writing who hadn't raised a brow or rolled her eyes. Encouraged, she swiveled around in her chair. The devil with Nathan, she thought. Jacqueline R. MacNamara had come to write a book, and that was just what she was going to do.
'Do you get much of a chance to read?'
'Nothing I like better after a day on my feet than to sit down with a nice story for an hour or two.' Mrs. Grange edged a little closer, passing a dustrag over the lamp. 'What kind of book are you writing?'
'A romance, a historical romance.'
'No fooling? I'm partial to love stories. You been writing long?'
'Actually, this is my first try. I spent about a month doing research and compiling information and dates and things, then I just dived in.'
Mrs. Grange shifted her gaze to the typewriter, then looked back at the lamp. 'I guess it's like painting. You don't want anybody looking till it's all done.'
'Are you kidding?' Laughing, Jackie tucked her feet under her. 'I've been dying for somebody to want to read some of it.' But not her family, Jackie thought, nibbling on her lower lip. They had already seen too much of what she'd begun, then left undone. 'Want to see the first page?' Jackie was already whipping it from the pile and offering it.
'Well, now.' Mrs. Grange took the typed sheet and held it out at arm's length until she focused on it. She read with her lips pursed and her eyes narrowed. After a moment she let out three wheezes that Jackie recognized as a laugh. Nothing, absolutely nothing, could have pleased her more.
'You sure did start out with a bang, didn't you?' There was both admiration and approval in Mrs. Grange's eyes as she looked over the end of the sheet. 'Nothing like a gunfight to pique the interest.'
'That's what I was hoping. Of course, it's just a first draft, but it's going fast.' She accepted the page back and studied it. 'I'm hoping to have enough to send off in a couple of weeks.'
'I'l be mighty pleased to read the whole thing when you've finished.'
'Me too.' Jackie laughed again as she placed the first page on top of the pile. 'Every day when I see how many pages I've done I can't believe it.' A bit hesitantly, she laid her hand on top of the manuscript pages. 'I haven't figured out what I'm going to do when it's all finished.'
'Well, I guess you'll just have to write another one, won't you?' Bending, Mrs. Grange hefted her box of cleaning tools and clumped out.
Why, she was right, Jackie thought. Win or lose, life didn't begin or end on the first try. There couldn't be anyone who knew that better than herself. If something worked, you kept at it. And if something didn't work, and you wanted it, you kept right at that, too.
Turning around, she smiled at the half-typed page in her machine. She could apply that philosophy nicely to her writing. And while she was at it she might just apply it to Nathan.
Chapter Five
He was furious with himself. Still, it was easier, and a lot more comfortable, to turn his fury on her. He hadn't wanted to kiss her. She'd goaded him into it. He certainly hadn't wanted to hurt her. She'd forced him to do so. In a matter of days she'd turned him into a short-tempered villain with an overactive libido.
He was really a very nice man. Nathan was certain of it. Sure, he could be tough-minded, and he was often an impatient perfectionist on the job. He could hire and fire with impersonal speed. But that was business. In his personal life he'd never given anyone reason to dislike him.
When he saw a woman socially, he was always careful to see that the rules were posted up front. If the relationship deepened, both would be fully aware of its possibilities and its limitations. No one would ever have called him a womanizer.
Not that he didn't have a certain number of female… friends. It would be impossible for a grown man, a healthy man, to go through life without some companionship and affection. But, damn it, he made the moves, the overtures-and there was a certain flow to how these things worked. When a man and a woman decided to go beyond being friends, they did so responsibly, with as much caution as affection. By the time they did, if they did, they'd developed a certain rapport and understanding.
Groping in the kitchen after a parsley salad wasn't his idea of a sensible adult relationship.
If that was old-fashioned, then he was old-fashioned.
The problem was, that kiss over the kitchen counter had meant more, had shaken him more, than any of the carefully programmed, considerate and mature relationshps he'd ever experienced. And it wasn't the way he wanted his life to run.
He hadn't learned much from his father, other than how to knot a tie correctly, but he had learned that a woman was to be treated with respect, admiration and care. He was-always had been-a gentleman. Roses for the proper occasion, a light touch and a certain amount of courtship.
He knew how to treat a woman, how to steer a relationship along the right course and how to end one without scenes and recriminations. If he was overly careful not to allow anyone to get too close, he had good reason. Another thing he'd learned from his father, in reverse, was never to make promises he wouldn't keep or establish bonds he would certainly break. It had always been a matter of pride to him that whenever it had become necessary to end a relationship he and the woman involved had parted as friends.
How could he and Jackie part as friends when they hadn't yet become friends? In any case, Nathan considered himself sharp enough to know that if a relationship was begun, then ended, with a woman like Jackie, it wouldn't end without scenes or recriminations. The end, he was sure, would be just as explosive and illogical as the beginning.
He didn't like mercurial personalities or flash-fire tempers. They interfered with his concentration.
What he needed to do was to get back in gear-start the preliminaries on his next project, resume his social life. He'd spent too much time on the troubles and triumphs with the complex in Germany. Now that he'd gotten home, he hadn't had a peaceful moment.
His own fault. Nathan was willing to accept responsibility. His uninvited guest had another week- after all, she had his word on that. Then she was out. Out and forgotten. Well, out, in any case.
He started upstairs with the intention of changing and drowning himself in the pool. Then he heard her
