“About the arson?”
“Jesus, Abby, it wasn’t arson,” she says, but then she laughs again. “About the fire and the cop, yeah. Honestly, I don’t know what changed. They just finally saw me.”
“I’m really, really glad that happened,” I tell her, and she nods in her understated Jordi way. Did you know you could miss how someone nods?
“I drove a car!” I tell her, and she looks a little disappointed. “What? Aren’t you excited for me?”
“I wanted to be the one to teach you,” she says. “But, yeah. I’m excited for you.”
“I still might not get my license,” I say. “But I’m not scared anymore.”
We watch each other for a few moments.
“Are we okay?” Jordi asks. “If there’s even a we. Should I ask that first?”
I reach out and wind my fingers through hers. “I don’t want to pretend like what happened didn’t happen.”
“Of course not.” Jordi pulls me closer. It’s hard to think with her brown eyes looking right into mine, with her lips so close.
“But I feel bad for not believing you either,” I say. “Or letting you screw up without just ending stuff. Especially after your parents jumped to conclusions about you this summer. I didn’t want to add to that.”
“I’m okay,” she says. “I’m okay if you are.”
I nod. “I’m okay.”
She untangles her hands from mine and then clasps my face. “I love you, Abby.”
“Oh my god,” I say, and it’s a terrible reaction, and then I laugh, which is even worse. “I’m sorry! I just didn’t know if you’d ever—”
She presses her lips to mine. It fills me with relief that she tastes the same. I don’t know why I thought she wouldn’t. I don’t know why I thought that one mistake would alter everything. People make mistakes.
“I should have said it when you did,” Jordi says. “I was worried about the show—and you—and I was surprised, and—”
“I love you too,” I say, and I kiss her. It feels like before; her hair brushes my cheeks and her fingertips touch my face with just enough pressure that I feel held and when I slide my arms around her waist, we curve together as if we were built for each other.
But there’s something new, too; I know that Jordi won’t always have the right thing to say and she knows that I might freak out when she doesn’t. You don’t fall in love with just the good parts, and I know that now.
“Hey, um, you’re probably going to think I’m stupid,” I say. “But maybe now that we’re back together, you should take down the ‘summer without Abby’ photos.”
“Oh,” she says, and I can practically see how hard she’s thinking about what she’ll be able to replace them with.
“And this will make you think I’m even more stupid, and it’s your show and not mine, but … I have an idea of what you should put up in their place.”
Jordi puts all the original photos back up at Pehrspace. She invites everyone again, and I invite everyone else: Maliah and Trevor, Jax, Brooke and Zoe, and even my parents. Rachel’s already back in Boston, posting annoying selfies with Mustache Paul, and I’ve liked every single one of them on Instagram.
The photos of me aren’t actually as big and wall-covering as I remember. They take up a normal amount of space. Maybe even the right amount of space. I don’t look the way I do in mirrors, or in my own selfies. Jordi’s forcing the world to see me as she does, and I realize that in her eyes I’m beautiful.
And I guess it’s possible that it’s not just her. It’s possible I look this way to other people, too. It’s more than possible that I recognize the girl looking back at me in the photos myself.
“Thank you,” Jordi tells me, in the midst of this crowded room. “You didn’t have to.”
“I wanted to,” I say. “I wanted to see your whole show the way you intended it.”
“The way I intended it was to also have a photo of the fire.” She nods in her parents’ direction. “But I figured I shouldn’t push my luck.”
It’s hard to keep it just the two of us when the room is full of people who know us. Our hands stay clasped while we’re inundated with people.
Jax tells Jordi her photos are dope and then hits on Brooke.
Brooke rolls her eyes but I don’t see them apart for the rest of the night.
Jordi’s parents invite me over for dinner next week.
My parents don’t say anything stupid at all, and Mom even asks Jordi if she’s ever worked in food photography.
Maggie asks Jordi and me if we just want to split the part-time hours in the fall. We’ll both barely make any money but we all feel silly that we didn’t think of this solution sooner.
Laine says that I have to reconsider being in some photos for Lemonberry.
I tell her that I’ll consider it. It’s scary, but maybe girls like me should get to see Maggie’s beautiful dresses on someone who looks the way they do.
“Hey, are you guys still doing that app thing?” Jordi asks, looking between Jax and me.
“Hell yeah we are,” Jax says.
“So what’s the best burger?” Maliah asks.
Jax and I glance at each other.
She and Jordi exchange a little glance.
“How do you guys not know?” Jordi asks.
“I dunno,” Jax says. “Haven’t really thought about it.”
“It’s honestly just been really fun eating burgers,” I say. “I wasn’t, like, interested in data.”
We both get out our phones and tap on the Best Blank app.
“Is it just In-N-Out?” Maliah asks.
We nod. “It’s literally just In-N-Out.”
“Will your dad mind?” I ask Jax.
“Nah. Who is Jackson Stockton Senior to challenge cold, hard, Animal Style data?”
“Animal Style is overrated,” Maliah says, and Trevor makes such a dramatic face that I pray their love survives.
“Can we get in on this?” Brooke asks, and it’s such a good segue for Jax that I shoot him little eye daggers until he turns
