“Promise,” I say. “And do it fast.”
I can’t process this.
“I just want it to be like I’m his dad,” Ray says with a voice that makes me want to cry. “I want it to be like we’re driving to Dairy Queen for ice cream and if he wants to get two scoops I’ll let him, even if I think he’s just going to drop the whole thing on the seat.”
“Ray,” I interrupt. “I don’t understand this at all.”
“When we got back to the playground, Nicole was talking to a friend,” Ray says. “I asked Michael if he wanted to go for a drive, and he said yes. So instead of going back to the bench, we got in my car and drove off.”
“Without asking Nicole,” I say in confirmation.
“She knows I have him. She’s left me about six blistering messages telling me to bring him back right away.”
“And yet you haven’t,” I point out.
“He came with me,” Ray says from somewhere on the end of the line, somewhere far away. “Just took my hand and smiled at me.” Ray sighs. “I’m pretty sure this the last straw, so I might as well make the most of it.”
“That’s terrible logic.”
“I know,” he says in a voice so sad my eyes fill with tears.
Lola calls out to me again. “Your lemonade has a funny taste, but I guess it’s not all bad.”
“I love you,” I say to Ray. “I love you so much.”
“I know that,” he says and ends the call.
Lola’s face appears in front of me. “I thought you guys were still trying to see where things were going. I guess they’re going well.” She grins at me.
“I need to make a call,” I say to Lola as I crawl out from behind the table. “I’ll be on the porch.”
“Sure,” she says and tilts her head at me. “Not as good a hiding place, but there’s a nice breeze. You’re not calling Jack, are you?” she calls to me as I rush to the front door.
Outside, I call an old number I have for Nicole. Turns out the number I have is her mother’s. When I give my name, Nicole’s mother bursts into tears.
“Please tell me you know where they are,” she says. “It was Ray, wasn’t it? I told Nicole not to trust him. She won’t tell me it’s him, but I know it.”
I assure her that everything is fine, and after much crying and catching her breath, she gives me Nicole’s address.
“Your brother is an idiot,” Nicole says when she opens the door and sees that it’s me. “He could at least call me back and tell me they’re ok. I’m out of my mind here. I mean, I know Ray wouldn’t do anything on purpose, but this is Ray we’re talking about.”
“They’re ok,” I say, and her shoulders relax into a slump. “They’re getting ice cream.”
“Ice cream?” she says incredulously and sighs deeply.
She turns away from the door and walks back into her apartment. I’m still standing on the steps outside, unsure if I’m supposed to follow her in or not. After a moment, I step inside and close the door behind me. I find her in the living room, sitting on the couch with her head in her hands.
“Have you called the police?” I sit down beside her.
“The police?” She looks up at me sharply. “No, that’s not a scene that I want in Michael’s head—being pulled away by an officer while your father is pushed to the ground and handcuffed.”
I think about the times Ray has been arrested. I never saw it, and now I have a picture in my mind that hurts my heart.
“Ray is so in love with Michael and so sure he doesn’t have a shot at being in his life that he just flipped.” I reach out to touch her arm, but draw my hand back. “He would never hurt Michael. He’d never take him from you—not for real. He’s just desperate for something he thinks he can’t have.”
I’ve never felt so close to Ray as I do in this moment.
“Why didn’t he just tell me all that?” Nicole asks. “We were talking. Things were going well. I wanted to be able to let Ray into our lives for real.”
“If Ray could do that . . .” I start, but don’t finish. “Besides, you knew that. Didn’t you?”
“Yes,” she says and leans back. “I never thought Ray was a bad guy. I don’t think that now, either. I know he means well. He just doesn’t know how to do well, and I can’t spend too much time waiting on him to be different.”
“He’s on his way back now,” I say. “Just give him a little more time.”
“He better be back soon,” she says, shaking her head.
At home, I pace. I call Ray’s phone, but he doesn’t answer. I hope he’s at Nicole’s place, down on his knees, begging her forgiveness.
The phone rings, and I grab for it. It’s Oliver. My heart races even more. I want to pick up. I want to tell him what’s happened. I want to hear his voice telling me to breathe, but I don’t. His voice is too much for me right now. If I talk to him, I’ll never be able to think straight again. I let the call go. He doesn’t leave a message.
I pull up the lemonade photos on the computer and begin to edit them just to have something to do. I get bleary-eyed after a while, and I must drift off, because I’m startled awake when the phone rings again. It’s Ray. I look at the clock. Almost midnight.
“How did it go?” I ask instead of the traditional greeting.
“We’re about a block from your apartment,” he says.
“We?” I say loudly into the phone. “Please tell me you don’t mean you and Michael.”
He doesn’t answer.
I sigh.
“He knows who I am,” Ray
