“I’ll pull my car around,” he says.
Nicole picks up Michael in her arms, and he’s face to face with me.
“I didn’t really introduce myself,” I say. “I’m your Aunt Nina. I’m glad you came for dinner.”
“Me too,” says Michael. “Will I see Uncle Jack again? He’s fun.”
“I’m sure you will,” I say, thinking of divorce papers and wedding rings and new beginnings.
Nicole meets Ray at the back door of the car, and they situate their son in the car seat I made Ray buy. Ray takes Nicole’s hand. She steps back from him and then steps forward. It’s a hard dance to watch.
“Do you think they’ll make it?” Lola says from behind me.
“I hope so,” I say.
Lola and I sit in the rocking chairs on the porch and watch Ray and his family drive away.
“So,” Lola says with a smile on her face. “Jack, huh?”
“Yeah. What do you think about that?”
“Too much lemonade and orange juice will give you a bellyache anyway.” She kicks her foot playfully against mine. “Jack is a good guy.”
“He is.”
“I’m going to miss you.”
“You can tell me all about it when you get back. Before you set off again on your next adventure.”
“You think I will?” she asks, and I can tell this is something she’s been thinking about.
“Come back?” I ask, my heart thudding. “I hope so.”
“No,” she says. “Of course I’ll come back. I mean, do you think there will be other adventures?”
Maybe not today, but one day, I will fly.
“Yes,” I say. “I think you’re ready to go.”
“Where?”
She looks at me, and we’re little one last time. I see us on this porch—me and her on the steps, young, watching Ray in the yard. Dad is washing the car and Mom is in the kitchen making dinner and everything that ever will be is still out there, somewhere in front of us.
“Everywhere,” I say to her now, the two of us in the rocking chairs, Ray with his family, Dad on the porch rail, Mom eating pie with Cassie, and my Jack and her Chris waiting to see what is waiting for them.
“I always felt like you were my fortress,” she says. “The wall keeping out everything that could hurt me. What will I do without it?”
“What I should have let you do all along.”
“Fend for myself,” she says, joking.
“No,” I say, less of a joke. “Let you face the world.”
“What if there’s an army of angry villagers out there?”
“Then you call in Ray,” I say. “You know he orbits you like you’re the sun.”
She nods. I know she will miss him more than she misses me in many ways. I’m ok with that.
“And besides,” I say. “What if it’s your handsome prince outside the wall, lost in the woods and tired of fending off insurance questions?”
“We’ve really got to learn to face life without our internal movie cameras on,” Lola says.
“That would take all the fun out.”
“You did always make it fun.”
“Promise me something.”
“What?”
“That you won’t film the wedding scene without us.”
“Wouldn’t dare,” she says and then winks at me. “I’m going to take Dad in before he falls off the porch. Should I send Jack out?”
“You requested my presence?” Jack says.
I stand up and he takes my hand.
“Come with me,” I say and lead us down the porch steps.
“This isn’t going to involve another shovel, is it?” Jack asks, although he doesn’t hesitate.
“No,” I say. “I want to show you something.”
I lead us out into the backyard. The feel of his hand around mine is pressure and release at the same time. Way back in the corner of the yard, by the hydrangea that is not in bloom now, is a dogwood tree—bare and patient. Hanging midway up is a metal mobile.
“What’s that?” Jack asks when I point it out.
“Something I forgot about. Something I made a long time ago.”
The cold evening breeze blows a chill through the metal memory and it clink-clanks, clink-clanks all around us. Jack looks up into the branches, but I look at him.
“What?” He smiles when he looks back down and meets my eyes.
“I made something out of what wasn’t supposed to have been.” I look at the pieces of Lola’s leg braces held together with wire. “I took the pieces and strung them together.”
“Whose shoes are those?” Jack points to the smallish blue Converse sneakers wired amidst the metal.
“Ray’s,” I say, remembering the night I stole them from his room. “I took them not long after the accident. Years before the braces came off. I hid them in my closet.”
I hadn’t known why I needed to take the shoes. But I put them in a box and let them wait until the time was right.
“That’s the way life goes,” I say. “You take the bits and pieces, and one day it makes something you didn’t expect.”
“Is this one of those things?” Jack puts his arms around me, pulling me to him.
“I believe it is.”
“Good,” Jack says. “I’m not letting go this time.”
Jack closes his eyes and releases a breath so hard it seems he must have been holding it since we parted. He kisses me, soft and somewhat hesitant at first, but then his arms tighten around me and his lips press sure and sweet over my own. Jack’s body is warm and right against mine, and his arms hold me together in all the places I was afraid had fallen apart.
◆ ◆ ◆
Later, when Jack and I go back inside to collect Cassie and say good-bye to Mom, I find Dad back on the kitchen table. The house is warm and still smells of spice pie and turkey. Tomorrow, as tradition, we’ll search for a Christmas tree, then come home to hot cocoa and tree trimming and tales of Christmases past.
I hope Lola will bring Chris and share some time with us before they head off to Peru and whatever
