If it were anyone else but Lily . . .
Why couldn’t the woman he’d rescued and accidentally compromised be older, plainer, more experienced, more self-reliant; the kind of woman he’d taken as a mistress from time to time. The sort of woman who wanted nothing more from him than his body, and occasionally his company. And usually his money.
Lily would want . . . so much more. The kinds of things he didn’t have in him to give.
He wasn’t opposed to marriage. He’d gotten almost as far as the altar last year with a woman who was all the things he required in a wife—she didn’t even like him much.
But Lily. Lily dreamed of love. He could see the swirling echoes of those dreams in her eyes whenever she looked up at him.
His fault, for kissing her. For rescuing her.
Lord knew what kind of man she imagined him to be. All he knew was that he wasn’t that man, could never be that man.
Oh, he presented well enough from the outside, and he had a name and position and wealth enough to keep a wife in comfort and style. But inside . . . inside he was a husk of a man, unfit to marry any sweet and dreamy young woman.
But they were trapped in a scandal not of their own making, and Ned had been born and raised a gentleman; he had no option but to offer marriage.
He left Jackson’s and returned to his lodgings, where he bathed, shaved and changed his clothes. Time to call on Cal Rutherford.
Chapter Eleven
Oh, Lizzy! do anything rather than marry without affection.
—JANE AUSTEN, PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
Ned reached Ashendon House, adjusted his neckcloth, which had become unaccountably tight, took a deep breath and rang the front doorbell.
The butler informed him Lord Ashendon was at home, and ushered Ned into the front sitting room where Cal was reading the Morning Post. Ned didn’t waste time in social chitchat. The moment the door closed behind the butler, he said, “Rumors are rife about your sister and me.”
“I know. Drink?” Cal folded the paper and set it aside.
“No, thank you. She’s on the verge of social ruin.”
“So my aunt, Lady Salter, tells us.”
“Then you know why I’ve come.”
Cal waved him to a seat. “Suppose you tell me.”
Wasn’t it obvious? “To make an offer for your sister, of course.” Ned made no attempt to sit. He was too wound up. He took a position in front of the fireplace.
Cal steepled his fingers together and regarded Ned thoughtfully. “It’s very decent of you, of course, but I’m not convinced marriage to you is the answer.”
Ned stiffened. Having nerved himself to bite the bullet, to do the honorable thing despite all his doubts and misgivings, it was a shock to hear his offer treated so casually. It was one thing for him to worry that he wasn’t the man for Lily; it was quite another for her brother to imply the same. “Why not? In some circles I’m held to be quite a good match.”
“In some circles, yes. In others you’re regarded as a rake and something of a cold fish.”
A reputation he’d deliberately cultivated, which had now come back to bite him. “And which is your view?”
Cal shrugged “It’s not about me. As far as I’m concerned you’re a good friend and were a fine soldier. But my little sister is something else. She’s . . . special.”
Did Cal think he didn’t know that? “Do you doubt I’d take care of her?”
“Materially, physically, I’m sure you will. But Lily has a tender heart. Even apart from your rakish tendencies, it wasn’t so long ago you were preparing to marry a woman you barely even liked.”
“That was different.”
“Was it? Then it was your grandfather forcing your hand. Now it’s society. Not much different from where I’m sitting.”
“Dammit, Cal, Lady Lily is nothing like—like that other girl.”
“Forgotten her name already, have you?” Cal was too damn acute. “And what was it you said to me back then? ‘All cats are gray in the dark’?”
It had been a stupid thing to say back then, a bit of bravado from an unwilling bridegroom, but Ned wouldn’t admit it. He shrugged. “Yes, but you don’t like cats. I do.” Another stupid thing to say, and he could see Cal was getting annoyed. So was he.
“Lily is different. She’s soft, and vulnerable. Dreamy. I don’t want her hurt.”
“And you think I’d hurt her?”
Cal met his gaze coolly. “Not deliberately.”
“So what would you have me do? Walk away and let her face the slings and arrows of the ton alone? Damned if I will.” Ned’s hands were turning into fists. He shoved them into his pockets.
The ton was abuzz with rumors, and the wagers in the betting book at White’s only underlined them. Marriage was the obvious, the only way out. What the hell was Cal thinking to treat his offer so lightly? All very well for him to talk of protecting Lily; by the looks of things he was preparing to throw her to the lions.
Cal ran a hand over his jaw and said ruefully, “I don’t know what to do, and that’s the hell of it. If it were up to me . . . You’re a good fellow, and you mean well, I know, but the women of my family are unanimous in opposing Lily’s marriage to you. The exception being Aunt Agatha, who simply wants the gossip silenced and would happily marry Lily to a troll, as long as he was well born and rich.”
Unanimous in opposing the marriage? Did that include Lily?
“You’ve discussed it already, when I haven’t even proposed?”
Cal gave a sardonic half smile. “Where Aunt Agatha is concerned I’m not sure your views even come into it. She informed Lily yesterday that she had no alternative but to marry you.”
Ned tensed. “And what did Lily say?”
“Not much. But the others made their views very clear. They are determined to prevent Lily from being forced into marriage with a man she hardly knows. And does not
