He spoke about being called up by a young man who asked, “How am I going to meet a girl when you people put up walls between us? How can I know whether we are compatible or not if we don’t talk?”
The preacher, who appeared to be in his midtwenties, was named Saed Rageah and he was from Somalia. He had studied in Saudi Arabia before immigrating to the United States and later to Canada. In fluent English, he reassured the boy in question that if he just followed sharia, everything would be fine.
“Sharia is geared toward what will benefit you. It protects you from what is haram.”
Before providing tips on halal dating, he stressed that it was important to give a wide berth to the temptations of the devil. There were many. For example, the devil was always present where free mixing and free mingling were taking place. When a woman left her house, the devil always followed her, no matter what she was planning to do. He gave the example of two sisters leaving their home just to go to the parking lot outside. If some boys saw them from their windows, they would follow the girls no matter what, because the devil would sow a seed of desire in their hearts. When the young men passed by, the devil had already planted a craving in their bodies. Imagine if nine or ten men passed by them, just think how much desire that would amount to, and all because two girls went out the door! The preacher grew serious. He implored women to be on their guard and not to venture out unnecessarily. The best thing was to stay indoors. That was always best, he emphasized.
If women had to go out, it was important that they not walk in the middle of the road. Muhammad said, “Women should walk on the sides of the road, close to the walls, so close that the jilbab scratches against the thorns growing there.” This ensured safety, at least from one side. Furthermore, it was important to avoid crowds, because the devil was always present in throngs of people.
The devil was also close at hand, explained the preacher, when a man and a woman who were not married found themselves in the same room. In that case, there would always be a third presence, the devil’s. “Even over the telephone! The devil will ignite that feeling, you all know this! You think, nobody sees us—let’s go. The devil enters you and the other person. So don’t ring, don’t chat, don’t poke on Facebook!”
He then addressed the men among his listeners. How were they to deal with a situation where a married woman invited them into her home? They would hear the voice of the devil inside them saying, “Nobody will know.” The preacher said he knew of “many cases of divorce taking place because the wife thought no one will know.” But Allah would know. Allah was always watching.
The young preacher believed himself privy to people’s motives. He told the young men in his audience that he knew it was the beauty of a woman they were on the lookout for. Women, on the other hand, were seeking a successful man. She could marry a man who looked like a monkey because she did not see him—she saw his cars, his house, the rings he could give her, yes, all the things he could lavish on her. Men would struggle, sweat, and toil, work double shifts in order to give a woman what she wanted, while her main concern was in maintaining her looks. So he warned them to be careful, because men and women had different agendas. Women tried to seduce men in this society, but that was also the fault of men, for giving compliments like “You’re so sexy,” which only resulted in the woman wearing something even more revealing the next day, and the day after that an outfit that even the devil himself would not be seen wearing in public!
Four of the five episodes were finished. In the last one he would divulge tips on how to date with God’s approval. The same preacher, sitting in front of the same heaving bookshelves, gave the camera a smile. Finally he was going to reveal what halal dating was.
“There is no such thing as halal dating in Islam! The only halal dating is when you are married to that person. Then you can date that person as long as you want! You can take her to the movies, drive to the park, go to Niagara Falls, whatever you want. Marriage is the only halal dating.”
That was it. There was no shortage of comments beneath the video, predominantly by viewers exalted by the advice. Although there were a few critical voices: “He said hel give tips, im really annoyed I watched it all n no tips grrrrrrrrr.”
A girl ventured to comment that the sheikh himself was pretty hot. She was called “sick in the head” for writing something like that about a holy man who would have felt ashamed if he read “what u said about him being hot. he’s not here to impress u with his looks but to teach u with Allah’s permission!”
Ayan saved another video by the same preacher, titled Islamic Marriage, also in five parts. The final episode was “Which Part of a Woman Is Allowed to Be Seen.” The conclusion confirmed what she already knew: Best to wear a niqab. That kept the devil at bay. Following these, she went into another YouTube clip, “Must-Watch Islamic Reminder: Can Guys and Girls Be Friends?” The conclusion was no.
Muslim Youth Movement had posted a talk called “Get Married or Die Fasting…,” stressing the importance of getting married at as young
