She did not answer.
He sent her a link to a lecture by the astrophysicist Lawrence Krauss titled “A Universe from Nothing.” The topic was cosmology, the study of the origin of the universe, how it was expanding, changing all the time, and would eventually disappear. “The universe is dynamic,” Krauss explained, and showed pictures of starry skies, galaxies, and supernovas—the fireworks of the universe. “Scientists love mysteries. The excitement of learning about the universe. So different from the sterile aspect of religion where the excitement is in knowing everything, although clearly knowing nothing.” He added that all religion was a fairy tale. Ismael shared his opinion. Religions were made up of stories people had invented to try to explain naturally occurring phenomena.
Krauss explained that all the atoms in the human body came from exploded stars. “We are all made of stardust, and the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand.”
Ismael was fascinated. This was the path he wanted to follow: technology, physics, chemistry, the known and the unknown. He had sent Ayan the link to the lecture so she might also understand, yes, maybe even gradually realize what a mistake she and her sister had made and return home. Because if we understand what kind of universe we live in, Krauss had explained, then we’ll also know how it will end. In a purely technical sense.
Ayan answered on August 19, the day ISIS broadcast the beheading of the first American hostage, the journalist James Foley. The video had been posted in the morning. It started with a clip of Barack Obama announcing air strikes in Iraq. The picture shifted to Foley kneeling in an orange jumpsuit in a desert landscape. A masked man dressed in black stood behind him with a knife in his hand. He made threats against America in a rough London accent.
Ayan did not mention the beheading, which photo analysts found out was filmed near the sand dunes south of Raqqa. She was stubbornly preoccupied with responding to her brother’s accusation that he no longer had a big sister he could be proud of.
“Ismael, you know deep down in your heart that I am exactly the type of big sister you can look up to and be proud of! Tell me, if I had chosen to go to university, could I not have been whatever I wanted? Did I not have good grades at school? Was I not the one you woke up in the middle of the night to follow you to the toilet and lay awake with you afterward because you were frightened? Was I not the one who physically dragged you to school all these years? Haven’t I always supported you and been there for you no matter what? So what makes you want to hurt me in this way now? Is it because I have made a choice you don’t understand? Were you not the one who was so scared on the plane trip to Stavanger that you read the Koran? Were you not the one who read the Koran in your sleep? Are you not the one who is scared of jinn? You believe in Allah swt and are a Muslim deep down inside, don’t allow yourself to be fooled by the kind of rubbish on that video, pick up the Holy Book and read it from cover to cover and then you will understand why you read it back when you were frightened and felt safe right away!”
It was soon midnight in Bærum, the August night was soft and mild.
“Ayan, I don’t believe in God. The Koran has its good parts and its bad. God seems so limited. But you don’t see that.”
In Raqqa it was still hot.
“God is anything but limited, did you know the sun has 365 points in its path? Allah swt swears by all of these points in the Koran. Btw where’s Dad?”
Ismael did not answer the question about their father. It was too painful. Sadiq had entered a parallel universe, where dream and fantasy mingled with events around him. His hope reshaped reality into a fairy story of his own invention. Just like religion.
Instead Ismael argued against the omnipotence of God: “1. God cannot guide everyone to the right religion. 2. God cannot give me my sisters back. 3. God cannot create peace. 4. God cannot kill me right now. 5. He cannot = limited.”
Ayan protested: “What about when death does come, who can stop it?”
“Death is not God,” Ismael replied.
“Your sisters are still alive. Wait a couple of years and you’ll see there’ll be peace. All that will be from God!”
“Nope.”
“Just read the Koran properly.”
“I don’t view the Koran as sacred.”
“Read a translation of it and then you’ll understand. You’re just frightened.”
“No, I’ve lost any uncertainty I had. God is a dictator. He compels you to do things you might not want to. But he ‘loves’ you. AND if you don’t do as he asks, he punishes you for eternity. I have nothing against peaceful religions but unfortunately Islam is not one of them. You are indoctrinated to such a degree that you choose not to notice that, seeing as you’re already in deep shit. STILL LOVE YOU. Just can’t handle having a sister I’m not going to see again.”
Ismael concluded his statement with a red heart. He then sent her a link called “Atheist & Muslim Debate,” which was a half-hour discussion between a physics professor arguing against the existence of God and a Muslim student who believed he had proof that He exists.
“I know that Islam is not a peaceful religion, but every living thing has the right to defend itself,” Ayan replied.
“God seems so selfish. I don’t like the idea of God. Creating mankind in order for them to worship him.”
His sister replied three nights later.
“Shut up you stupid little boy before the ground opens up and swallows
