‘You’re hurting Kerry, right now,’ I said. I could sense my own blood pulsing through my body, so hard and fast it felt like I might explode. ‘You’ve told her what you think. She’s not worth ruining your life for. Leave her alone.’
I took a few more steps towards her, still with my hands held out, feeling the sickening cold of the shadows enveloping her. ‘Come back and – and – let’s celebrate properly.’
Zoe locked eyes with me for a moment. Then she turned back to Kerry and lowered the knife. ‘Another time,’ she said. ‘Watch your back. I won’t forget.’ And she tucked the knife into her coat and walked towards me. The blacknesses fluttered over Kerry, who was still huddled on the ground.
Zoe and I walked slowly back to the flats without saying a word. I glanced behind from time to time, but we weren’t followed. I steered her into the lift, gently rubbing her arms to try to warm her up. We shuddered up to the top storey and stepped out to a blast of music and noise. Zoe wiped at her eyes and made straight for the kitchen, where she picked up a bottle of wine and tipped it up into her mouth.
‘Don’t,’ I said. ‘That won’t help.’ I pushed a plate at her. ‘Have something to eat.’
‘You have something to eat, Anna-rexic,’ she spat at me.
I took a step back. ‘Look,’ I said, pointing towards the next room. ‘This is a great party. This is your party and all these people are here because of you. Let’s not fight.’
For a few seconds, Zoe looked around, anywhere but at me, her lips tight and her arms wrapped around herself. Then she breathed out. ‘Sorry,’ she whispered. ‘Sorry.’
Someone tapped Zoe on the shoulder. It was a boy who I’d seen hanging around Dead Bouquet. I think he was a bit younger than Zoe, but he definitely had a crush on her. She turned and smiled at him, her teeth a little darkened by the wine. ‘Hey,’ she said, and grabbed him by the hand. ‘Come and dance with me.’
I stood in the kitchen doorway and watched as Zoe led him into the middle of the floor and started to dance. A dark angel, surrounded by sadness and shadows and cold. Then I turned away and left to go home. My life was about to implode.
21
The Misper
It was the early hours of the morning – 1st of November – when Mum and I were woken up by a loud hammering at the door. I stayed at the top of the stairs as Mum ran down to answer it, wrapping her dressing gown around her. I heard a man’s voice announce it was the police and after a short conversation with them, Mum called me down.
The police officers were standing in our little hallway, rain on their jackets and caps. ‘Anna, one of your friends has gone missing,’ Mum said. ‘The police want to ask you something.’
‘Zoe?’ I said, shivering in my pyjamas, my skin starting to prickle.
‘Kerry Jones,’ one of the officers said.
‘Kerry?’ I didn’t expect that.
‘Kerry left home to meet some friends at around half-past eight last night,’ the officer said. ‘But she never came home. We’re sure she’s fine, but need to find out where she went. Any ideas?’
Dumbly, I shook my head.
I sat in the bedroom most of the day watching out of the window, but I kept myself out of sight behind the curtain. My texts to Zoe had no answer. I kept hoping to see Kerry strolling back up the road like nothing had happened. But she didn’t. There’d been at least one police car outside her house all day, sometimes other cars too. Police officers and people who looked like police, but without a uniform, in and out of the gate. Usually it was Kerry’s dad who was opening and closing their front door, but just once it was Luke. I thought about giving him a quick wave, but I realised that actually, I didn’t want him to see me. I’m not sure why. Also, the police were taking things out of Kerry’s house, in bags. I took deep breaths to try to slow my thumping heart.
Mid-afternoon, there was another loud knock at our door. Two police officers, not in uniform. A fair-haired woman and a fat guy, wanting to talk to me. We went into the kitchen, sat around the table, and they told my mum she’d have to stay with me while they asked me questions.
‘Where did you think I would go?’ she said. She parked herself in a chair next to me and caught hold of my hand. There was a time, and it wasn’t even all that far back, when just my mum being in the same room meant that nothing could possibly hurt me. I wondered when that changed. When she lost that power.
The fat guy was Rob Somebody and the woman, who was a bit nicer, was a sergeant, I think, and her name was Sandra Something. I couldn’t always take in what they were saying and the weird thing was that I knew this even as they were talking to me, like they were speaking in Dutch or like something was blocking my ears. They went over and over the last time I’d seen Kerry. At first, I tried to make out I couldn’t remember. But I couldn’t keep it up. So I admitted we’d seen her in The Cut around half-past eight on Halloween night.
‘Where did you go after that?’
‘To a party,’ I said, avoiding Mum’s eyes, but sensing her looking at me with a question on her face. I was going to have to own up about the non-existent Emma Wood.
‘With Zoe Sawyer?’
I nodded.
‘But Kerry didn’t come with you? Why not?’
I bit my lip. ‘It was a Halloween party. Kerry’s church doesn’t like her doing
