“Belle. I’m so sorry, gorgeous.” He takes my hand and places a thorn-free section of the rose’s stem onto my palm. “I have a lot to make up for. But let’s get you to my car so we can talk.”
Taking my hand luggage from me in one hand, he clasps his other one onto mine, guiding me through the terminal. We’re inside his sports car soon enough, and although he starts the engine and turns up the air conditioning to a comfortable temperature, he doesn’t drive away.
“Before you say anything, let me get this off my chest. Is that okay?”
I nod. There’s not much that I have to say, to be honest. I’m still so numb. This meeting is his.
“I can start in so many places, but I realize something that I need to say out loud. You’re my best friend, but more importantly, you’re my family. You always have been, and no matter how our lives play out from today and beyond, you’ll always be that to me.”
He stares out his front window, seeming to look for the right words. “I know that you’re pregnant. That’s my baby…our baby…you do want to keep him or her, right?”
I nod again because this time, even if I had something to say, I wouldn’t be able to speak through all the tears threatening to fall from my eyes.
“I’m glad. I’m not going to let our baby come into this world or grow up without me,” he says, and covers my hand with his. “I don’t want this conversation to be about the past, but I do need to share this with you, not as an excuse, but an explanation. When my parents died, it fucked me up, twisted me up inside. I was too young, you know? The shock… losing them both at the same time, not getting to see them even once before their remains were put into the ground… Pops spent the next seven years trying to help me get my mind right. I was down in a dark hole, black and deep and ominous. I couldn’t pull myself out. But Pops stuck it out… tried everything, and when none of it worked, he tried it all over again. The man never gave up on me.”
He squeezes my hand a little. “That’s how you were too. I had you and Foster, and I’ll tell you the God’s honest truth. I never would’ve made it without you. Then I went to college. I wanted to keep up what we had. I really tried, but all that darkness sucked me down so deep. You were so close to me… a huge part of who I was, and that scared the fuck out of me. Losing my parents threw me into this loop where I was bracing for another tragedy. I got to the point where I was more afraid of finding out something bad happened to you than losing our friendship. I know it sounds fucked up. What I did to you was unforgivable. Then I did it to you again a few days ago.”
He sees the tears flowing down my face, my body heaving with whimpers that wrack my chest, and gently brushes the tears away with the back of one index finger. “You have every right to leave me in your rearview mirror and never let me close again. I don’t deserve your forgiveness. That’s why I won’t ask for it. I’ll do something different instead…I’m going to earn it. Day by day until you trust me again. Can you let me do that for you and our baby?”
I reach over and drop my head hard on his shoulder, and wrap my arms around him as best as I can in this car. “Yes, I can.”
He runs his shoulder down my arm, pulling me close. “And one more thing. We don’t have to put a label on us. We don’t, unless you want to. But just know one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“You’re mine.”
I don’t respond to his last statement. But I know it’s true.
“I’m not sure if Foster mentioned it, but Pops is in the hospital.”
Guilt creeps up my back. I feel horrible for not asking a thing about his grandfather. “Oh no, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize. Is it serious?”
“Before you panic, no, it’s not serious. He had a spill and will be there overnight. I may need to go to him later on. While I was waiting for your plane to land, he told Foster to let us all know that he needs eight hours of sleep… without all of us looking over his shoulder.” Knox smiles a little for the first time since I got off the plane. “You know how he can get.”
“Yes, I’ll go with you if that’s okay.”
“Of course. For now, I’ll take you home. To my place.” He kisses me, so soft yet his touch is heavy with longing. “I hope it’s okay with you, but I’m not letting you or the baby out of my sight.”
For now, that’s exactly what I need.
23
Knox
I’ve come full circle.
At least, it feels like I have.
There’s one big difference.
Isabelle is with me, and the child she’s carrying—my child—makes us a family.
I unlock the front door of my grandfather’s house and stand on the threshold. This is my childhood home. My parents’ home, the one that Pops moved into after they died, solely to make my life a little easier. A little less uncomfortable.
I’ve already made up my mind since leaving the hospital earlier. Everything is set. I’m going to move in with Pops and make this house our home. This is the place where I’ll put down roots with Isabelle and our baby.
Our home.
We step inside and I close the door. I announce my plan for us, expecting some resistance because it’s not like I consulted with her or sought out her input on it.
She surprises me by resting her head on my chest, wrapping her arms around my waist, and
