Momma was clearly upset about all this. She was walking around the dining room, taking quick puffs on her cigarette and biting her lip.
I knew how important Momma’s reputation was to her so I assumed the neighbors’ gossip made her feel ashamed. I knew all about feeling ashamed and I secretly felt happy that for once Momma was experiencing what I felt all the time.
“Even when I explained to her that he was my brother, she looked at me like I was lying! Can you imagine?”
Momma sounded indignant; how dare someone not believe her! I could understand that not being believed by that neighbor made Momma angry. But again, I was secretly happy that someone thought she was a liar for a change.
As much as I wanted to like Uncle Kay, as much as I liked having a relative around, especially one who looked like me, there was something about him I just didn’t like. And he seemed to have absolutely no fond feelings for me either. There was no warm hug, no “glad to finally meet you” smile from this man when he arrived. He was completely indifferent toward me.
But when Momma and Uncle Kay started drinking beer and talking about old times, it was clear there was a feeling of affection between them. And while I was used to being pushed aside whenever my mother was talking to her girlfriends, this felt different. It was as if I didn’t exist at all.
And it got worse. Although he was good at putting on the charm with my mother, Kay didn’t waste any time on me. When my mother was at work, he completely ignored me, or he looked at me with disdain when I walked into the living room, which he had completely taken over. His message to me was clear: “Go away. You’re bothering me.” All my life I’d been used to getting this message from my mother, but getting it from Kay, who had come into my house, was especially insulting.
And Kay was selfish. Not long after he moved in, he came home with a package of imported ham, a bunch of green onions, and a loaf of white bread. Momma could never afford to buy packaged ham like that so I was excited about the prospect of having a ham sandwich. But Kay stood at the kitchen counter and used up the entire package of ham, making several sandwiches, and then went into the living room to eat them without offering me one. This was especially infuriating because when my mother got home and cooked us dinner he sat shoveling food down like he hadn’t eaten all day. Here my mother was supporting him, working hard to put food on the table, and he was too selfish and ungrateful to share with me.
It turned out Kay was even more arrogant than my uncle Forrest. At least with Forrest, you knew he had a good heart under all his bravado. He had some kindness to balance the know-it-all-ness and the need to control everything and everyone. Even when he was overly blunt, and even insulting, you knew he didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Not so with Kay. When he hurt your feelings you knew he’d done it on purpose.
As time went by, I could see how much of an alcoholic Kay was. He drank vodka, and he always reeked of alcohol—which became a sickening smell to me. He was often passed out on the couch in his underwear when I got home from school, and sometimes I could see his genitals. He never bothered me sexually, but I felt really uncomfortable seeing his penis or testicles. After a while, this habit of his became so frequent that I avoided coming home.
I tried telling Momma about Kay—that he was drinking all day instead of looking for a job. But of course, she didn’t believe me.
“I can tell when he’s drinking hard liquor, and believe me, he’s not. He’s really trying this time. You’re just upset because I’m focusing my energy on someone other than you. You’re jealous.”
I didn’t know what to say. Sure, I didn’t like it that she spent her evenings drinking beer and talking to Kay. But I wasn’t telling her about Kay’s drinking because I was jealous. I was telling her because I could see he was fooling her and this upset me.
When my mother was around, Kay was a totally different person, and I soon realized he was a con artist who was capable of fooling anyone. He only drank beer when he was in her presence and he really put on the charm with her, complimenting her and telling her funny stories.
I guess my mother finally figured out that he was drinking vodka and lying around all day instead of looking for work when she wasn’t around, because she asked him to leave several months after he arrived. I was so relieved. It felt like I had my house back.
I guess Kay didn’t have any hard feelings about my mother kicking him out, because he kept in touch with her through the years. She told me he eventually got a job as a used car salesman and she said it was the perfect job for him because he had the charm and good looks to talk people into buying anything. And he could set his own schedule. Nevertheless, he lost that job because of his drinking. Through the years, he eventually worked his way through all of the used car lots in Bakersfield.
The one thing Kay did for me was to help me to stop pining away for a father. I realized that, when I’d thought
