“So you’re studying for the rest of the day?” I ask after emptying my plate.
“Yeah, and I have a paper to write for my Humanities class. How about you?”
“I need to make some calls for your radiator. I’ve got a few leads, and since I didn’t get to the grocery store yesterday, that means groceries, and getting lunches and meals planned for the week for Cassie.”
She goes quiet, her eyes a bit solemn. “When was the last time you had fun?”
I take a big drink of my coffee. “I could ask you the same thing.”
She slides her fork into her mouth, takes a look at the clock on the wall, and says, “Oh, about thirty minutes ago.” We both laugh and I push back from the table. Rachel sets her fork down, and her eyes meet mine.
“How about we get out of here, go have some fun before I study and you work?” she asks.
“Yeah?”
“Sure, we could hit the outdoor market. I can help you get your groceries, and we can grab an ice cream or something.”
“Or something?”
“Stop.” She finishes her last bite of pancake, and says, “What time do you pick Cassie up?”
“Around dinner.”
“Too bad. I’m sure she would have liked an ice cream, but then again, it’s best she not see us together and get the wrong idea, right?”
“Right.”
She places her hands on the table and stands. “Okay, let’s get the dishes done, then I’ll get changed and meet you outside.”
“I’ll do the dishes.” I nod toward the door. “You go on and get ready.”
“Give me twenty,” she says, and gathers her clothes up from the chair. She removes my sweats, and pulls on her work pants and darts outside.
I make quick work of the dishes, take a two-minute shower, and tug on a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt.
The rising sun pushes back the chill of the night, and it’s warm when I step outside. My gaze goes to Rachel’s car. For the next two weeks while it’s out of commission, I plan to drive her back and forth to campus. I have to take Cassie to school and it’s not really out of my way.
My pulse jumps, so does one other body part, when she exits her house, looking so girl-next-door-fresh, it’s all I can do not to drag her back to my bed. She darts a nervous glance up and down the street, her eyes searching—for what or who I don’t know. All I do know is that someone has hurt her, left her frightened and damaged, and if I knew what’s good for me, I’d stay out of her life.
I can’t offer her more than a roll in the sack, and a few good memories. Not that she’s asking for more. She’s not. But I need to maintain stability in my life, and stay out of trouble for Cassie’s sake. I can’t lose her.
“All set?” I ask as she comes toward me, her ponytail bouncing on her shoulders.
A chorus of giggles come from her front door, and I glance up to see her roommates, still dressed in their pajamas and looking like death warmed over. I remember those hangover days. I’m glad they’re behind me.
“Morning,” I say and give them a wave.
“Morning,” they all say. “Are you two coming or going?” the dark-haired girl asks. She was the one I’d caught gawking at me the other morning.
“Going,” I say, and more giggles sound.
“Oh, too bad,” the blonde answers.
I open my mouth to respond, but the whack to the gut stops me.
“Don’t encourage them, Jaxon,” I say. “Dim-witted moths, remember.”
“Right.” She starts to walk, and I say, “I can take the car. I might have a lot to carry back.”
“Okay.” I pull the fob from my back pocket and open the doors. She slides in next to me and that’s when I catch her scent. Goddammit, it makes me want to eat her up again. I drive the short distance to the market, park, and meet Rachel at the front of the car.
We make our way to the outdoor market, where we can buy anything from fresh produce and meat to breads, wine, and gifts. I purchase a bottle of wine, and turn to see Rachel looking over the knitted hats and mitts. There is a little girl lost look on her face that tugs at me. I step up behind her, put my mouth near her ear. “Are you getting a new hat?”
She stiffens, and says, “No, it’s not that.”
I point to the blue hat with the pom poms on the top. “I think that one would look cute on you.” I reach for it but her soft voice stops me.
“Mom used to make hats like these for me.”
She’s not talked about her mom, or her past, so I go still, and wait for her to expand. “She taught me how to knit when I was little,” she adds, and I remain quiet, fully aware that she’s telling me something important. “I miss it, actually. I just don’t have time for it anymore.” I put my hand around her, hold her to me, and she leans into me. Her body softens, and she adds, “I miss my mom, too.”
I turn her to face me, wanting to ask about her mom, her dad, if she has any siblings, even though I should keep things a little more impersonal. “I’m sorry.”
She forces a smile. “It was a long time ago.”
“Your dad?” I dare ask.
“He’s not…in my life anymore.”
My heart pinches. She’s as alone in this world as I am. But I have Cassie, and my in-laws. “I don’t have any family either,” I say. “I was raised in the system. Tossed around and kicked around.”
Why the hell am I telling her this?
Her eyes widen. “I’m sorry,
