The guilt for his brothers’ abandoned lives weighed on him every day. That guilt had grown into the wall between them overthe past few months. It had dried out his heart. Guilt had kept Flynn from enjoying anything, from using his senses for anythingbeyond the basics to stay alive. Guilt filled him with misery every damn day. Its heavy blackness had muffled the rest ofthe world to him. It even hid itself—so he felt so numb he almost forgot about the cause.
Until Sierra.
Until her light got through to him.
“This—” he broke off to turn in a circle with his arms outstretched, to indicate the entire town, their entire lives, “—thisis all my fucking fault. I’m the reason we disappeared. I’m the reason why we only have a single picture of Mom and Dad left that Ismuggled out in the sole of my boot. Why Kellan had to give up his career. Why we go to sleep every night wondering if there’ssomeone in the Marshals Service on McGinty’s payroll. Someone who’ll share our new identities and lead a hit man straightto us. I’m the reason we lost fucking everything.”
Flynn let his arms drop to his sides. Okay, they just sort of flopped there. Because he was spent. Letting out his feelingswas harder than a day spent hammering and lifting at a construction site.
Kellan shoved a chair behind him. Flynn’s knees took the suggestion and gave up the ghost. Rafe took some slow, dragging stepsto get back around the desk. The chair squeaked as he sat down. Kellan stood next to him, wearing identical frowns of concern.Moments like these Flynn noticed how very similar the three of them looked, from the dark hair that Rafe wore the longest,to the blue eyes, each a shade lighter than the older one, to the stubborn jut of the jaw.
Their mom would’ve been tickled to see them like this. Well, not like this. Not the two of them staring at Flynn like he should be carted off to a mental hospital. But the three of them, all grown-upand still together. Still leaning on each other. Still wanting to be involved in each other’s lives. Not out of habit or guiltor necessity, but because the Maguire brothers were a single unit, first and foremost.
That was what they’d always sworn to each other.
Flynn just hadn’t realized that by swearing that, he’d sentenced his brothers to a possible life on the run. That he’d maybegiven them a reason to hate him forever.
He absolutely couldn’t take that. So he’d shut himself off from them before they could do it.
Would they now?
Rafe folded his hands together, then rested his chin on them. “I could candy coat this. Ease into it. But that’s not how weroll. So . . .” He slammed his hands down onto the desk, making the stack of papers flutter a little in the air. “You’re afucking idiot, Flynn.”
“Thanks. I feel much better now.”
“You want a hug and beer? You’ve got a girlfriend for that. You come to us when you want the truth laid out. And the stone-coldtruth is that we didn’t lose everything. More to the point, we didn’t lose anything. Not anything that really mattered. So stop with this martyr shit.”
No way. Rafe couldn’t let him off the hook that easily.
Flynn white-knuckled the wooden arms of the chair. “This isn’t a coffee commercial on Christmas morning about life’s momentsbeing special. This is for real. We could be found and killed. We could go testify and be killed. That’s my fault. You put us in this position to save me. Do you know how fucking hard that is to live with?”
“I do now.” Rafe wiped his hand across his mouth, his cheek, and then down off of his chin. “Wish you’d told me before.”
Kellan nodded. “It would’ve explained that perma-scowl hanging off your ugly mug.”
What the hell? “You get that I’m serious as fucking syphilis, don’t you?”
“We do. Can you see how equally serious we are that the three of us being together is what matters most?”
Feeling pricked back through Flynn. Similar to rolling off an arm after sleeping on it for too long. Relief, calm, a releaseof the blackness that had still filled the parts of him Sierra’s sunshine hadn’t yet melted.
Kellan thumped his chest. “I’m the brains—and charm—of this group. Rafe’s the brawn. But hell, Flynn, you used to be the heart.You were always the glue for us. You’re the one who makes us work. As brothers. That’s why we haven’t been working since we left Chicago. Not because I left law school and Rafe left his criminal scumbag lifestyle. We haven’tworked because you haven’t been you. You’re all we need.” He straightened up. Threw his arm out and pointed a finger at Flynn. “So stop trying to take all thesucky credit. It turns you into an asshat.”
Laughter rolled out of him. “Is that the technical, legal term, Counselor?”
“You could also go down as an assclown. Douche canoe. Twittlefuck.”
Rafe snorted. “Come on. That last one isn’t even real.”
“Look it up,” Kellan taunted, throwing back the command Rafe used to give him as a kid when a big word went over his head.
Flynn kept laughing in sheer joy. They were back. They were fine. And god damn it, if he hadn’t been an idiot for not admittingsooner to them how he felt.
“Although . . .” Rafe shifted. His gaze bopped around between the file cabinets and the doors and a shelf of wipers and headlightbulbs. “If it’s okay with you guys, I’d like to add Mollie to that list of things that matter, too.”
Kellan grinned and clapped him on the shoulder. “Fine by me.”
“That’s the other problem.” Rafe’s eyebrows shot up. Flynn hurried to clarify. “I mean, yeah, Mollie’s one of us. Definitely.But I think I feel that way about Sierra.” Be honest with them, idiot! “No, I know I do. But I’m scared that Sierra won’t be with me. Because of, well, all the lying.”
Without
