Mr. Donato appeared, scooping Ryder in a bear hug that held down both of his arms. He sat on the picnic table and talked right into Ryder’s ear. I’m not sure what he said, but Ryder switched from anger to sobbing tears.
My dad got back on his feet and moved forward like he was going to grab Ryder from Mr. Donato, and I decided that now—right now—was going to be the moment I spoke up.
“Leave him alone!” I shouted. My dad spun at me, and I kept yelling. “Follow me. Now!”
I walked to the trailer, my pulse on fire. I was terrified but also spilling over with words. I shut the door behind my dad. His lip was bleeding from where Ryder had popped him. He opened his mouth, but I beat him to it. “I take it you haven’t finished your draft.”
“Of course not,” he spat. “I was on the second-to-last chapter when I got a call from Visa about an international flight booked on my credit card. I thought you’d lost your mind and were flying back without Ryder. I drove to LAX and waited for you. Surprise, surprise when the flight arrived and you weren’t on it. I was so angry that I jumped on a plane, and here I am in my own personal Elementian hell! Jesus Christ, Iris. There is a woman walking around this set that is a carbon copy of my mother!”
His eyes were bloodshot. His fists were shaking.
We were on new ground. I’d never truly felt sorry for my dad before. He always seemed too angry to be pitied, but I could see the way he hated—or feared—Elementia as though it was personally attacking him. Like I’d felt only a week ago.
“I would never have taken off without Ryder,” I said, sitting on the bed, attempting to calm the situation. “You know I wouldn’t.”
“I’m sorry,” he said sarcastically. “Did you or did you not just pull up from a Dublin bender with your new actor friends?”
“That was because…”
He sat on Ryder’s bed and crossed his arms. “I’m listening, Iris. This is going to be a brilliant work of fiction. I can already tell.”
I glared at him. My dad looked like me. A lot. Or I think I’m supposed to say I looked like him. Either way, we both looked like M. E. Thorne. Dark hair. Dark eyes. Sharp features that belonged in fantasy illustrations. People said my dad looked manic in an attractive way. I had yet to grow into such a description.
“I’m waiting.”
“I had to help Eamon bring Shoshanna back to the set. I…I was the reason she left, sort of. I spoke with this reporter to help out, but I’m apparently terrible at talking to report—”
“Yes, I’ve read your little interview,” he said. “You know better than to talk to the press.”
“Yeah, well, I screwed up, but not as much as you think! And I went to get Shoshanna back because this movie needs her to stay alive!”
My dad’s eyes flared. “You’ve got to be kidding me. One week and you’re falling in love with this fantasy crap all over again?”
In love? Yes, I was, but not with Elementia. I pictured Eamon in his Nolan costume. Shoshanna’s frank banter. Julian’s best acting face melting into that fragile sincerity that proved he was actually a huge-hearted guy. Ryder flipping pancakes with Mr. Donato, and Cate grilling me as though she gave a sincere damn about my life.
Be honest and don’t back down.
My chest grew tight as I pulled Eamon’s camera out of his backpack. “I’m in love with something, but it’s not Elementia. Let me show you.”
I opened the screen and pressed play. My pulse drummed. Would he get it? He wouldn’t.
What if he did?
My dad watched for about twenty seconds before he closed the flip screen and set the camera on Ryder’s bed. “Coldplay, Iris? Seriously?”
“What?” I felt dazed. Tricked.
“Coldplay is so…maudlin.”
“But you made me listen to that album, remember?”
His tone iced. “Playing someone else’s song is the literary equivalent of going to a poetry slam and reading Emily Dickinson.”
“What?” The word barely escaped my lips. I’d been sure he’d be impressed. Or at least surprised. “But I got up there. I played in front of everyone. You said I should—”
“I knew you lied.”
“What?” The word kept tumbling out. “What?”
“You weren’t rescuing some actor from the airport. You were at a bar, drinking heavily by the sound of this. And that’s why you didn’t come back until this morning. You were out drinking while your little brother was here, in a foreign land, in the hands of strangers.”
“They’re not strangers! The crew loves Ryder. Ask anyone.”
“I’m disappointed. You’re not half as mature or responsible as I thought you were.”
“Not mature?”
“You heard me, young lady.”
I’m raising your kid! The words were like a bubble coming up through the black mud of my feelings. I could feel them rising, rising, rising…until I burst.
“I’m raising your kid, you self-centered egomaniac!”
“Iris!” He threw his hands in the air. “First of all, your insult is completely redundant. Secondly—”
“Why don’t you go finish your draft so you can be a human again!”
That hit a nerve. His stare drilled into the ground as he mentally reloaded, but I fired first.
“Ryder has been brilliant since we got here. He’s been listening and helping. He’s been confident and trying new things. And then you show up and he lost his mind. Whose fault do you think that is, Dad? Your demands freak him out just like they’ve always freaked me out. And I might have learned way too early that the only way to make you happy was to do exactly what you wanted, but that doesn’t mean I’m okay either. We’re both messed up, and from what I’ve figured out since I arrived here, apparently screwing up your kids is the
