“Are you sure you don’t have any laundry detergent?” Julia asked hopefully. “Some Tide, maybe?”
“There are tides in the ocean,” replied Marcellus.
“A little soap?”
“Soap?” said Marcellus. “Why would Stephen pay good money for soap when urine is free?”
“Can’t argue with that,” Isabel said as she hesitantly dipped a toe into the urine. Reluctantly, Julia did the same.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” Julia said, holding her nose.
“This is the most disgusting thing I have ever done in my life,” Isabel said as she put her whole foot into the tub. “I may pass out.”
“I hope I pass out,” Julia told her. “Then I won’t have to smell it anymore.”
“Move your feet around, slaves!” instructed Marcellus. “Circulate the urine.”
Slowly, the girls moved their feet back and forth in the tub.
“Think of it this way,” Isabel reasoned. “The pee is usually inside our bodies, right? That doesn’t gross us out. Now it’s just outside our bodies.”
“I’m still grossed out,” Julia replied. “I would rather clean out a toilet than stand in one!”
“Keep moving, slaves!” shouted Marcellus. “The clothes do not clean themselves!”
Totally disgusted, the girls marched around in the urine, being careful not to let their frocks dip below the surface. Actually, after doing that for a few minutes, they got used to the smell so it didn’t bother them as much.
“Excuse me, how long do we have to do this?” Isabel asked.
“Two hours,” replied Marcellus.
“What?!” Julia exclaimed. “I’ve got news for you, sir. In less than two hours, Mount Vesuvius is going to erupt and this whole town will be buried in ash.”
“Shut up, slave!”
So this is where we are, reader. Things were not going very well for the Flashback Four. While Luke was fighting for his life against Vulcan, the girls were walking around in a tub full of pee. While David was running from the hungry tiger, the girls were still walking around in a tub full of pee. Soon Mount Vesuvius was going to erupt and kill everybody.
Other than that, things were fine.
“We’ve got to get out of here,” Julia whispered to Isabel as they tromped around in the tub. “Then we’ve got to find the boys.”
Isabel looked up to see Marcellus pacing back and forth around the big room.
“Do you have a plan?” she whispered to Julia.
“See that door near the corner? As soon as Marcellus turns his back, let’s make a run for it.”
Isabel glanced at the door.
“If he catches us, he’ll kill us,” she whispered.
“We’ve got to try something,” Julia said. “We’re going to die if we stay here.”
“Okay, okay,” Isabel whispered. “Next time he walks over to the far corner, we go.”
They watched out of the corners of their eyes as Marcellus paced around the room. He made his way over to the far corner, the one that was farthest from the door.
“Now!” Julia whispered.
But before they could make a move, the door opened. It was Stephen, the owner of the fullery. He strode over to them.
“Ah, I see you have done good work, slaves,” he told the girls. “Now it is time for you to dye.”
“What?!” Julia shouted. “You’re going to kill us?”
“We stomped in the pee like we were told!” Isabel yelled. “What more do you want from us? Please don’t kill us!”
“We’ll do anything!” Julia hollered. “We don’t want to die!”
“Not die, idiots!” shouted Stephen. “Dye! It is time for you to dye the cloth.”
“Oh. Never mind.”
The Ear Buddy, apparently, did not understand homonyms.
CHAPTER 18THE MAIN EVENT
DOWN THE ROAD, IN THE AMPHITHEATER, DAVID was on his knees, desperately trying save the life of the tiger he had accidentally stabbed in the heart.
“Nooooooo!” he kept wailing. “It was a mistake! I didn’t mean to kill him! Is there a veterinarian in the house?”
It was very doubtful that there was a veterinarian in the house. And even if there was a veterinarian in the house, the veterinarian would probably be rooting for the tiger to die. In any case, it wasn’t going to be saved. It had already lost too much blood.
“I killed it!” David wailed. “I can’t believe I killed it!”
The crowd, of course, was eating it up. David put on a great show for them, and he wasn’t even trying. People were yelling, screaming, and chanting his name.
“Hilarius! Hilarius! Hilarius!”
Finally the gate was opened, and Fred the Red came over to pull the grief-stricken boy away from the dying tiger. He handed David a palm branch of victory and put a laurel crown on his head. Then he escorted him back to the Palestra Grande. The crowd was still on its feet.
Luke was waiting for David. He saw how upset he was, and put his arms around his friend to comfort him.
“It’s okay, man.”
“I killed him,” David sobbed, “and tigers are on the endangered species list!”
“If you hadn’t killed him, you’d be on the endangered species list,” Luke told him. “You won, and you survived! That’s the most important thing.”
“I don’t want to live anymore,” David said, still crying. “I’ll have to live with the guilt.”
“Look, it was my fault,” Luke told him. “I never should have mentioned the bat flip idea.”
“But now he’s dead,” David said, unable to control himself. “It will be on my conscience forever.”
Luke wasn’t getting through to his friend. At that point, he knew he had to resort to desperate measures. So he slapped David in the face.
“There isn’t gonna be a forever!” he shouted at his friend. “We gotta figure a way out of here right now. What’s done is done. So pull yourself together, dude!”
David pulled himself together. A slap in the face will do that to you. He pulled the timer out of his pocket.
“We have twenty-three minutes left.”
At that point, Fred the Red came over to them. He had a big smile on his face.
“Slaves!” he said, putting one arm around each of the boys. “Both of you were incredible out there! I can hardly believe you boys are still alive. Congratulations. Come with me.”
“Which one?” David asked.
“Both.”
“Both of us?”
