Chesterland
Watch for False Alternatives
February was Presidents’ Day and Black History Month. Our American government teacher, Mrs. Hotchkiss (1963–64), was very inspiring. I memorized President Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, the best short speech ever. I recall about 75 percent of the words now. Amazing! I read the speech again on Lincoln’s birthday from Lend Me Your Ears: Great Speeches in History by William Safire.
I learned the following a few weeks ago from “The Great Debates” by Professor Patrick Grim, State University of New York at Stony Brook. As Lincoln said in the first of a series of debates with his rival Stephen Douglas, “Public sentiment is everything. With public sentiment, nothing can fail; without it, nothing can succeed.”
Lincoln also said, “The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend”; “This is a world of compensations; and he who would be no slave, must consent to have no slave”; “There is no reason in the world why the Negro is not entitled to all the natural rights enumerated in the Declaration of Independence, the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”
And now the flip-flop statement by Lincoln: “I am not, nor ever have been, in favor of bringing about in any way the social and political equality of the white and black races (nor of making) voters or jurors of Negroes nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with white people.”
Stephen Douglas said, “I believe this government was made by white men for the benefit of white men and their posterity forever, and I am in favor of confining citizenship to white men, men of European birth and descent. Instead of conferring it upon Negroes, Indians and other inferior races.”
For independent inquiry, look for a video of a recent debate online at Elections.NyTimes.com, select the video tab, then search for “presidential debates.” Ask yourself, what precisely is the position? What precisely is the argument given? How good is that argument? Did the speaker commit any fallacies?
An example of a false alternative-dilemma fallacy is when a problem is presented as an either-or choice between two alternatives, when, in fact, those are not the only options.
Modern political philosophy: false alternatives.
“Either you’re with us, or you’re with the terrorists” (Former President George W. Bush).
“Either we cut education and medical research, or we’ve got to reform the tax code so that the most profitable corporations have to give up tax loopholes that other companies don’t get. We can’t afford to do both” and “Either we ask the wealthiest Americans to pay their fair share in taxes, or we’re going to have to ask seniors to pay more for Medicare. We can’t afford to do both” (President Barack Obama).
Assignment: Read What’s Race Got to Do with It?: Why It’s Time to Stop the Stupidest Argument in America by Larry Elder and The Miseducation of Black Children by Kmt Shockley.
David A. Hancock
Chester
Delusions Deserve Scorn
Emil Marino stated in another publication, “My pick would be Mike Huckabee. He has shown how very well informed he is on all subjects that affect our lives.”
Mr. Huckabee’s book God, Guns, Grits, and Gravy is No. 4 on the New York Times bestseller list. I wonder if Mr. Marino agrees and if Mr. Huckabee recalls his odious comment on Jan. 25, published by Planned Parenthood, “Women are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing for them a prescription each month for birth control because they cannot control their libido without the help of government.”
Maybe Mr. Huckabee viewed or attended a performance of Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues. Maybe he could produce The Penis Monologues or The Viagra-Cialis Chronicles. I’m glad it’s not Ed Huckabee.
How do we discuss/debate rationally with someone who holds such delusional beliefs? Maybe give up on reason and resort to excoriating ridicule, scorn and lampoons.
The ability of the human brain to convince itself of just about anything is not to be underestimated. Let’s hope Will Rogers was correct when he said, “Things will get better despite our efforts to improve them.”
Mr. Huckabee has three other colleagues who have similar views: “Women’s voices are not appropriate or qualified to participate in the debate over birth control” (Rep. Darrell Issa, R–Calif.); “That’s not denying women’s rights. If a woman then wants birth control, go work somewhere else” (Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback); “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to shut that whole thing down” (Former Rep. Todd Akin, R–Mo.).
WOW—War on Women—and the “Pander Bears” have spoken. It’s enough to make a cat laugh.
If any of the above miscreants are married, their spouses-partners have grounds for divorce.
Homework reading assignment: The Joy of Not Being Married: A Guide to Singles (And Those Who Wish They Were) by Ernie Zelinski and No Kids: 40 Good Reasons Not to Have Children by Corinne Maier.
Madeleine de Scudery probably said it best when she said, “In losing a husband, one loses a master who is often an obstacle to the enjoyment of many things.” And Liz Winston who said, “I think, therefore, I am single” may have been referring to George Washington, who said, “It’s better to be alone than with bad company.”
David A. Hancock
Chester
Football Proficiency Law
Here’s the No Child Left Behind football version.
All teams must make the state playoffs, and all must win the championship. If a team does not win the championship, they will be on probation until they are the champions and coaches will be held accountable. If, after two years, they have not won the championship, their footballs and equipment will be taken away until they do win the championship.
All kids will be expected to have the same football skills at the same time, even if they do not have the same conditions or opportunities to practice on their own. No exceptions will be made for lack of interest in football, a desire to perform athletically, or genetic abilities or disabilities of themselves or their parents. All kids will play football at a proficient level.
Talented players will be asked to work out
