Selvey often used to say I shouldn’t write on the forums at all and if I did then one day I would have a problem with a bule. I didn’t know why Selvey said that at the time and I just thought she worried too much.
One day I logged on to the internet and saw there were lots of people writing on the forums. Some people were writing on the personals forum and other people were replying to them. There was a discussion about mixed relationships between bule and Indonesian people. Somebody wanted to know if the forum thought a relationship between people of different countries could be a success or if there would be too many differences.
Some people wrote that they thought there would be no problems, but others wrote and said there would be some. I remember thinking at the time: love is blind and if two people love each other then they can overcome their problems. I also remember telling Selvey this but she didn’t look very interested. She said I was naïve and I should go back to work. I don’t think I was naïve. I think I was just romantic.
I read all the forum’s posts on the topic but I didn’t post anything myself. I don’t know why. I read about one girl’s experience with her bule boyfriend. She said she was with him for six months but he was never faithful to her. She said he had many other Indonesian girlfriends at the same time as her even though he was quite old and not very handsome. I felt sorry for her, but other people on the forum said that is normal for bule. They said that bules always have many girlfriends and they like to have fun only. I don’t think that is true. I think bules are good people, usually.
There was another new thread on the forum that day. This one was started by an expatriate, a bule. He said his name was Charlie and he was from England. He said he had been in Jakarta for just a couple of weeks but he would stay for one year while he worked at a company here. He sounded interesting, but also a bit lonely and so I started to feel sorry for him. He said he had no friends here and he was looking to find some people to maybe meet for a coffee or something.
Reading down, I saw a few people had replied and welcomed him to Jakarta. One or two gave him some advice about places to go if he wanted to meet people but nobody suggested meeting him. I wondered why not.
I had a thought: Do you think he would want to talk to me or to meet me?
I felt I would like to help him to feel happy in Jakarta. He must have been feeling sad to be away from his family and friends and in a strange country where he didn’t know anybody, I reasoned. I wanted to help Charlie. Was that wrong, do you think? I think he sounded like a nice man.
I didn’t want to ask Selvey if she thought I should write to him because I knew she would be angry and call me a mummy’s girl again, so I just looked at Charlie’s profile on the website and I saw he had given his email address. Maybe I would send him an email introducing myself and welcoming him to my country. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that, right? I don’t think that would make me a bad girl, do you?
Yes, I decided, I would write to him later but I wouldn’t tell Selvey, and I may tell Ari or I may not. We’d see.
Ah! Who is Ari???
Didn’t I tell you? Ooops! Ok, well, although Selvey was my best friend in the office, Ari was my best friend outside it. In fact, I think he is probably my best friend overall, even better than Selvey.
His name is Ari (short for Ariansa Wiboso) and he has been my friend since we were together in the third grade of elementary school. He is a funny boy and my good friend and always helps me and supports me and never makes me angry or sad, unless he is calling me a bule-mania, which he started doing after I told him that Selvey did. Actually, I know he is not serious and is just teasing me when he says that. I think he likes to see me angry sometimes, but then he tells me a joke and makes me laugh again and I can’t stay angry with him for long.
Now, Ari and I used to see each other all the time when we were growing up but after I graduated university and started work, we didn’t see one another every day. He continued studying in medical school and I started working.
Well, back to Charlie. I wrote to him and then I spent ages waiting to see if he would reply. I thought he would reply because he was lonely. I was sorry for him.
In my email to him I wrote that I was happy he had chosen to come and live in my country and I hoped he would enjoy his time here. I told him that Indonesian people are very friendly people and I was sure he would soon have lots of friends. I then added a smiley. Like this: ϑ I don’t know why I did that. I hoped he didn’t think I am childish. I often use smileys when I write emails to my friends. I think it is a friendly thing to do. What do you think?
I wanted to ask Selvey if she thought it was childish to use smileys but
