The evening panned out exactly the same as previous ones spent in Godok. We found a spot and some of the guys ordered beers while Eko and I just sipped iced tea and water, and we played our games of matchstick-cards while chatting amiably and watching the world go by. At about 10pm the usual procession of girls started as the young ladies made their way round the enclosure of small eateries, or warungs, and that’s when I saw her and made eye contact. She smiled at me and my heart started to beat just a little faster. It was now or never.
‘Ri,’ I nudged my elder sibling.
‘Hmm?’ he was preoccupied talking to his friend, Untoro, and paid me little heed.
‘Heri,’ I persisted. ‘Ri.’
‘What is it?’ he muttered, now annoyed that I was disturbing his flow.
‘That.’ I said, nodding over in the direction of the nameless lady who continued to give me the slightest hint of what could be construed as ‘the eye’.
Now Heri caught on.
‘Ahhhhhh, I see,’ he sort of smirked. ‘Leave it with me.’
Heri had a quick word with his friends who all grinned at me, and each contributed Rp 4,000 leaving me to pay the remainder.
So, this was it. I took a deep breath I got up out of my chair and went over to her.
She smiled at me and we started chatting in what we call basa-basi, or small talk. I was once more aware of the fact that I shouldn’t take up too much of her time lest she think I was just playing with her. Heri had warned me once again to get right to the point as quickly as possible, and so after a couple of minutes I did.
‘Would you like to spend some time with me, Non?’ I asked.
‘Sure, sayang. You know time is money, eh?’ she replied, still smiling.
‘I do, Non,’ said I, the smooth operator that I am, and we left together for the row of shacks just visible the other side of the market.
As we walked together I felt self-conscious and shy. I was sure that everyone in the market would be looking at us and knowing who we were and where we were going, but I needn’t have worried because a quick glance around assured me that no-one was paying us the slightest bit of attention. People were just getting on with shopping, selling, talking to their friends or whatever it is they were doing. I was heartened by this and began to relax a bit more. I did wonder, however, just what the hell I thought I was doing and why. I was telling myself I was just curious and I just wanted to know more about her, about things and about life in general. I was arguing with myself that my curiosity was natural and harmless, but it was an argument I was in severe danger of losing.
We reached the row of tin shacks and the girl, Devi was her name, produced a key and opened one and led me inside. It was tiny, probably smaller even than Heri’s room in his kost, and all it contained was a mattress on the floor, a chair piled up with clothes, a fold away table also piled with clothes, some cutlery and crockery, and in the far corner, a tap and a bucket – presumably for washing clothes, cutlery, crockery and bodies.
Devi was nice to me. She could see I was nervous so she did her best to put me at ease. She smiled easily and chatted pleasantly as if we were old friends as she moved around the tiny place. She told me she was going to take a wash first and suggested I had one too.
She was nice. I was relaxing and felt ok.
However, I had a problem. I didn’t want to make love with her; I only wanted to talk to her. This had seemed like a good idea before but now my natural shyness was taking over and I was trying not to panic. I just wanted to get out of the situation without annoying her or losing face too much.
How was I going to manage that?
It wasn’t that I didn’t find her attractive, or that I was saving myself, or I was some sort of puritan. It was just that I didn’t want to. I was just interested in the whole scene and I wanted to learn more, or that’s what I was telling myself, anyway.
I watched her take her skirt and blouse off and squat down in the corner with the tap. There was barely a trickle from it but she used it to wash some of the sweat and grime off her legs and stomach before signalling for me to do the same and going over to the bed.
I had a sudden idea. I would feign impotency.
Good idea? Not quite.
‘What’s wrong, sayang?’ she said when she saw me reluctant to get undressed.
I stammered something about not being up to the job and changing my mind but still, of course, paying her, but she wasn’t having any of that.
‘Come on, Sayang. I will assist you,’ she said, helpfully.
I wasn’t banking on this, but she came to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder and breathed warm scented air into my ear. I had no chance. Nature took its course as I involuntarily appeared on the parade ground, in a manner of speaking.
‘Seems alright to me,’ she giggled as she wriggled out of her underwear.
It was nice. There is no getting away from that, I enjoyed it and although I felt a certain guilt, I didn’t feel particularly dirty as I thought
