“Well,” she said, “you’d better start eating a little, then.”
“A big fellow, is he.”
“No.”
“I get it. Another crack about my physique.”
“Yes. You deserve it. You know I don’t like to talk about any of this.”
He seemed to consider. “One sinner to another,” he said. “I have never found comfort in confession, either. It just unleashes every bad consequence you might have avoided by keeping your transgressions to yourself. That has been my experience, at any rate.”
She said, “So I guess I have that to look forward to.”
He shrugged.
She said, “I promised I would help you, and I will. But you probably don’t want me to be mad at you. I don’t think as well when I’m mad.”
He smiled. “Fair enough. I’ll forget I ever heard of what’s-his-name.”
“Good.”
“Well, maybe I won’t forget the part about clipping out poems. That could come in handy. And the number four hundred fifty-two just seems to have lodged in my brain.” He watched her face. “And then there is such comfort for me in the thought that there has been some minor smirching of your soul, I doubt I will forget that. Though I promise I’ll make the attempt.” Then he said, “What is this? Ah, tears! One friend in the world and I’ve made her cry!”
She said, “I’m not crying. Do you want my help?”
He laughed. “I need your help. I want it — abjectly.”
“I’ve told you. I’ve promised you.”
“You are crying.”
“So what? Look after Papa. I’m going up to my room. We can talk about things when I’ve had some rest.”
He opened the door for her and followed her inside. He said, “Glory.”
“What?”
“I know this is a lot to ask. I know that. But I wish you wouldn’t leave me alone just now.” He put his hand to his face. He laughed. “What was that expression you used a minute ago? Ah yes. ‘I swear to God.’”
She stepped closer to him so that she could speak softly. “Has it ever, ever occurred to you that you are not the only miserable person in this house? That must be fairly obvious. The least we can do is avoid making things worse than they have to be.”
He smiled. “You think I’m a petty thief.”
“How on earth can I know what to think?”
“Children!” their father called. “I could use some help here!” “Coming, Papa!”
The old man was propped on one arm in a tangle of covers. “Such dreams I’ve had this morning! I’ve used a day’s worth of energy just wrestling around in my sheets! Is Jack still here? Yes, there he is, there you are.” He sank back on his pillows.
Jack smiled from the doorway. “Still here,” he said. “You’re not rid of me yet.”
“Oh yes, rid of you! Come here where I can look at you, son. That’s how it was in the dream. I could never get a clear look at you.” He said, “Do you remember when you were about thirteen and you got the new suit for Easter? And some of the others grumbled a little, because they said you would never come to church anyway? But that day you did. The suit was big on you, but you looked so fine in it. You had your tie hanging around your neck, and you came to me, and I tied it for you. Do you remember that?”
“Yes, sir. I believe I was late.”
“No, you were almost late. That’s an important difference. You came running around the side of the church and sort of vaulted over the railing and landed on the steps, just as quick and graceful as could be. And then you looked at me, and I think you hoped I would be pleased, and of course I was, very pleased, and so was your mother. Yes. Bring that chair over here and sit down for a minute. Let me look at you for a minute.”
Jack laughed. “Maybe I should shave first. Comb my hair.”
“You just come here and sit down like I told you.”
“Yes, sir.”
“You just mind for once.”
Jack put the chair beside his father’s bed and sat down.
His father patted his knee. “Now you see how easy it is,” he said. “I’ve never asked you for very much, have I?”
“No, sir, you haven’t.”
“Just take care of yourself. That’s the one thing I ask. Don’t do yourself harm. Don’t neglect the things God has given to you for your comfort. Your family. Your brothers and sisters. The others tell me they haven’t heard a word from you.”
“Sorry. I’ll see to that.”
“Luke called yesterday. He asked if you would like to speak to him and I had to say I didn’t know. He told me to give you his love. He said they all sent their love.”
Jack laughed. “Thanks,” he said.
“You were off at the post office anyway. But that is a thing I don’t understand. A man with three fine brothers doesn’t have to deal with the world on his own, like some kind of lone wolf. They’d all be glad to help. I would, too, if there were anything left of me.”
“I’m all right.”
“Well, that’s just not true, Jack. I’ve still got eyes in my head. You’re bone weary. Anyone could see that.”
Jack stood up.
