“Transformation?” Lauren’s head was pounding and she felt the blood running into her eye. She couldn’t concentrate. What was he talking about? She tried to shake her head to clear it, but that just sent waves of pain and nausea through her again and again. “I thought you liked me,” she added feebly.
“You women will never learn.” Ryan’s tone was playfully reproachful. “This is why the bad boy always wins and the nice guys always lose. I used to be a nice guy. No, really. I bought flowers, chocolates. Took girls to movies. Bought them lunch and dinner, little gifts here and there when they felt down. And what did I get in return? ‘Oh, Ryan, you’re such a nice guy. Not like this arsehole I slept with over the weekend.’ ‘Oh, Ryan, help me. My boyfriend is so mean, he hits me. I’m breaking up with him.’ Then two days later? ‘Oh my god, Ryan, my boyfriend and I had the best sex last night!’ And on and on. Finally, I realised bad boys do the things good guys only dream about. You wouldn’t screw me until after I waited until you were at your lowest point. I rubbed your arse to see if you were a sure thing, and instead of you slapping me like you would have if I were a nice guy, you actually found it daring. You think that by rooting me you are getting one up? You don’t get that it’s the guy who wins. I never gave a shit about you. I just knew if I played you right, you’d be all eager to take it. And boy were you.”
“Why?” Lauren mumbled. “What happened to you?” The question was half serious. She was trying to play for time, but really wanted to know. Was there a human being in there?
“Jessica,” he replied. “That was her name. I knew her since high school and been in love with her since day one. No joke. She was gorgeous. I thought she liked me as well, but I didn’t have the guts to say anything. There began eleven years of pure hell. I heard about everything she did with other guys. Every fucking sexual detail. Do you know what it’s like to have your heart sliced every time you talk to someone or message them? She knew I liked her, and said she didn’t like me in that way. And I just accepted it, why? Because I loved her. And it seemed that I was the only one in her life that actually cared about her. I loved her smile, her eyes and the sound she made when she laughed. I began making little videos of myself, what I was feeling, and what I really wanted to say to her but just couldn’t. All my mates told me to stay away, that she was bad news. But I didn’t listen.”
“Then the day came when she broke up with yet another guy, some obese cunt. She came to me devastated again, and I finally let her know everything. Everything. Didn’t hear from her again for a couple of days, but when I did, I got good morning and good night messages. She started messaging more, wanting to see me more. She told me she loved me too, that she always had but was afraid. We went all the way. She said she wanted to have my kids. My head was spinning and it was the best feeling ever. And it lasted for three weeks. Then, out of nowhere she says she’s not sure of her feelings anymore. That she likes me as more than a friend, but not as a boyfriend. What the fuck, right? This new charade lasted for a few months until I finally figured out she really wanted the fat fuck back. That’s right, the dude that treated her like shit! I suspected then, I never meant anything to her at all, and I was just being used. I think I might be the first guy in history to be out of the friend zone and put right back in because he wasn’t good enough in bed. Then she tells me about a one night stand she has. When I ask her why she’s telling me, especially seeing as though she knew how I felt about her, she said she just had to tell someone.” Ryan gave a tsk, tsk sound. “F Y I, wrong thing to say to a guy whose heart you don’t care about breaking.”
Lauren suddenly realised where this long-winded sob story was going, what he was trying to tell her. “You killed her?”
“Filmed the whole thing. It was a kind of a nice little epilogue to the video diaries I’d done. It took me weeks, but I finally confessed to my best mate what I’d done. He didn’t believe me, so I sent him the video. Instead of turning me in, he asked me to do the same thing to a chick that had broken his heart. He wanted to see her burn and would pay me a thousand dollars. The rest, as they say, is history. The videos were put online, and more and more people took notice, thinking they were fake or torture porn. Some realised what the go was, and offered me jobs. Girls wanting me to go after their cheating exes, or the girls they cheated with. Who hasn’t wanted to hurt the person that hurt them? But then the requests became more specific and colourful, as did my clients. My eyes were opened up to a world within ours. The money got better and better, and here we are. A life time of stories to tell.”
“Oh, yeah? And what are your stories about me?” Lauren changed tacks, trying to play up to his ego. Her head, though still aching, was starting to clear now Did he
