Alicia smiled, trying to comfort Nicole, but it didn’t work. The last hour replayed in Nicole’s mind like a flash. She was a mother without her child. Before she could stop them, she had succumbed to tears.
“My baby…”
Alicia lowered herself and wrapped an arm around her. Nicole buried her face into her chest and sobbed. “It’s alright…”
“No, it’s not. I’ve lost everything. Nick, Alan, PJ and now my baby. My mother wants nothing to do with me. Nothing about this is alright.”
“Hey…you listen to me.” Alicia reached under Nicole’s chin and made her look up. “You haven’t lost your son forever. We’ll get him back. I swear. He wouldn’t have been taken away if he was just going to be killed. Tynan must want him for something.”
“He does. He told me.”
“What did he say? Tell me everything.”
“Tynan said he wanted him, because he’s an eleventh generation. And because I gave birth to an eleventh, he wanted me to be a breeder for the rest of his pack.”
Alicia shook her head. “Again with this shit.”
“What?”
“First, he’s Nick’s uncle. He is one of the strangest, yet most cunning of wolves. He was obsessed with my pregnancy. But more, he has always been into science. Testing. Gene splicing. The enhancement of the species. Most thought he was crazy. I didn’t. Nor did his father. I think William saw Tynan’s obsession with meddling in bloodlines, genomes and the like as highly dangerous, so he made Wilson Alpha. What he wants with your baby, I can only shudder to guess.”
“He wants to raise him. To use him as a weapon in the years to come.”
“Not bloody likely.”
“Can you track him? Does it still happen?”
Alicia stood up and flexed her shoulders. “I haven’t got anything yet. But don’t worry, that doesn’t mean anything. We are a funny race. If we are separated from our pack, there are ways and means to find each other. With this thing I felt, things can get dangerous. For example, if an Alpha goes without its pack, it can get really sick, even die. Their powers will go haywire. Some go mad. A pack needs an Alpha much like a child needs its mother.”
“And its father.”
Alicia touched Nicole’s cheek with the palm of her hand. “I know, sweetie. I know. But I hope you realise how much he loved you.”
“That’s what makes this so hard. I did everything I could to fight my feelings for him. Pushing him away. I kept telling myself they were wrong. That it was a crush, that’s it. But,” Nicole gave a small huff. “He just didn’t give up. He broke my walls down.”
Alicia gave her a smile. “He would do that.”
“But that’s the problem. The second I was tested, I put them back up again. I chose my career over the…the best guy I have ever known.” Nicole succumbed to tears again, struggling to get the words free. “All this is my fault. If I wasn’t so stupid…”
“You’re not stupid,” Alicia replied gently.
“I am! He was right there! In front of me. In my room. God…the way he looked at me. The way he touched me. I have never felt so…I loved him so much. Why couldn’t I just tell him then? Instead I had to see the look on his face when I told him I’d be leaving for England. By choice. Leaving him behind. I told myself over and over again it was for the best. If it hadn’t been for me, he would never have come to the airport to bare his soul. He could’ve been prepared better…”
She paused as the tears flowed, and Alicia held her. “…I wouldn’t have been here. Alan and PJ would be safe…Nick would’ve been ok. Our baby would be with us right now.”
“Stop,” Alicia said gently, rubbing Nicole’s back. “Enough of all that now. None of this is your fault. We all make choices with the information we are given at that time. You couldn’t know what was going to happen anymore than I could. But I tell you, you couldn’t have kept him from going into that building. As hard as it is, he’s gone because he tried to do the right thing. As an Alpha, and as a man. I tried to instil in him a sense of justice, right and wrong and a kind heart.”
“You did a great job,” Nicole replied, wiping her nose and sniffling.
“But no one could’ve anticipated he would leap into an explosion like that. It was instinctual. He saved everyone…and I’ve never been more proud to call him my son. He loved you, that’s all you need to hold onto. Actually…this too.”
Alicia pulled out a necklace and placed it in Nicole’s hand. A giant silver wolf head pendant, in a howling position, surrounded by gleaming blue crystal.
“It’s beautiful…and huge.”
“My own design,” Alicia said. “It’s what the Slade Pack used to honour a fallen soldier. Well, truth be told, Wilson never liked the idea. He preferred a piss up. So this was the only one ever made. It was the only thing I came back for when I returned to the estate. It was my intent to find a nice, quiet place and bury it for Nick. But…I just couldn’t. So I kept it with me. I mean, I know he’s gone but…he’s not gone to me.”
Nicole felt heartbroken hearing this and offered the pendant back.
“No, hun. You keep it. Really. It makes me so happy to share this with you, and one day, you’ll show it to your son. Nick is alive in your baby. That’s why it didn’t feel right to bury it. I would give anything to see my boy one last time, but this is more important. Finding his son. Your son. I need you with
