“No…but thank you. I’ll be ok.”
“Seems like I wasn’t the only one in love with him?”
Michelle gave a small smile. “No, you weren’t.”
“Was that…weird for you?”
“Actually no. I knew how he felt about you, and I was ok with it. I was angry I was taken from him. But when I found out you had slept together…I was happy for both of you. I mean, I wanted to be with him and always have had but relationships with a vampire are…complicated things to say the least. I was just glad the both of you were happy.”
“But what about you?”
“What about me?”
Alex took Michelle’s hand in hers. “No one deserves happiness more than you.”
“Thank you,” she replied. “But I want to try and help you now. Try to take it easy on yourself with your powers. The more you stress the harder it will be. In the cave, from what you told me, you just…did it. Instinctually and naturally.”
Alex shook her head. “The more I try the harder it is. I’m trying to just relax, but I’m really devastated and I don’t know what else to do.”
“I’m always here for you, you know that. You’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’ve never believed in anything more.”
Alex leaned forward and wrapped Michelle in a hug. Michelle could not express how grateful she was for it. Alex kissed her on the cheek. Then again, slower this time. As she leant back there was a second, no, more than that, where there could’ve been another kiss. This time on the mouth. Michelle looked up and saw Alex staring at her lips…
“I’d better be going,” Alex said. “Unless…you want me to stay?”
Oh boy. What a branching question. Did she? Yes, she did. But why? For comfort? Yes. Alex made her feel better than anyone…besides Dante. He was gone. No amount of sorrow could bring him back. And Michelle’s feelings for Alex were…getting complicated
“No, it’s ok. I’ll call you soon, I promise.”
Michelle gave Alex one last hug at the door and held it for a few seconds before she left. She waited for the door to close before looking thought the peephole. Alex was still just outside, appearing to be deciding if she should leave. Michelle leant her forehead against the door, silently begging her to go and yet wanting the exact opposite. Michelle wrapped her hand around the handle, but was she fully prepared for what would happen if the door opened?
That she would take Alex into her bedroom and they wouldn’t leave. For what she truly wanted was on the other side of that door. She wanted to grieve, but she wanted to be loved. She scraped the fingers of her left hand down as her grip on the handle tightened with her right. With a sharp intake of breath, she pulled the door open only to find the hallway empty. Alex had gone.
At that moment she felt both a sense of disappointment and relief. She didn’t know which was stronger, but thankfully, she had tomorrow to figure it out.
Alex had to do what she had to do. So did Michelle. The first thing was possibly the hardest thing. To remember the man they both loved.
Chapter Forty-Six
The Carnival Is Over
Michelle got out of the car and walked the short distance to where Melina, Lauren and Clive stood. Alex stood beside her just as she had for Alex at Nick’s makeshift service. This was the same. A last goodbye for the most amazing man Michelle would ever know. One who had done so much for this city without anyone ever knowing. None of this was right or fair. He should be holding Alex right now. Not stuck in a box that they all surrounded in the dead of night at a beach at Kurnell. What sort of a farewell to a life spanning two hundred years was this? Although she knew Dante wouldn’t want a fuss, the small group around her didn’t feel intimate to Michelle. It only enhanced the gap this one person had left in all their lives. That was harder to take.
Clive stepped up to the coffin, resting on stilts just a foot off the sand. “Ladies, thank you for coming. Some of you may not know, the vampires of Sydney have no funeral rites or practices. If anyone would like to come up and say a few words, I’d encourage it.”
Lauren was first. Speaking loudly enough for the rest to hear her, “First night I saw you, I could never have imagined what an inspiration you would be to me. You showed me who I truly am. When I was ashamed, you taught me to always keep growing. To be honest with myself and never look back. That I deserve good things as long as I’m a good person. I um…” Her voice started to break “I really don’t know what I’m going to do without you. Goodbye, Dante. I’ll miss you…”
Lauren stepped back, and Alex squeezed Michelle’s hand. Did she want to say anything? Michelle shook her head, afraid she was going to be sick. Alex walked forward, two roses in her grasp. She placed them and a hand on the top of the coffin. “I don’t know if I have the right words or any words to thank you for all you’ve done for me. You’re the reason I’m alive. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you or help you. I hope that…wherever you are, you found peace and I see you again.” She made to leave but stopped. She had pressed her fingers to her chest, looking downward. Thinking
