The formula resonated with the raja’s fellow conspirers immediately, and they leapt up in joy. Rai Sahib said, ‘Yes, now we’ll break the siege. But tell me, who’ll be our man? Pandit Gadadhar Sharma?’
Raja: ‘Oh no, sir, who listens to him? He just keeps writing something in the newspapers. What would the townsfolk know about it?’
Rai Sahib: ‘The wealthy Savant is our man then.’
Raja: ‘Oh no, sir, who, except for the college students, is aware of this chap?’
Rai Sahib: ‘The fatso Pandit Moteram4 Shastri?’
Raja: ‘That’s it! What a brainwave you’ve had! He’s just the person to be called for such a situation. He’s learned, lives by his religion and rituals, and is wily too. If we get him on our side we’ll win the gamble.’
Rai Sahib sent word to the pandit’s place immediately. Shastriji was at his puja then. He wound it up hurriedly as soon as he got the summons. What a fortune! His Majesty the raja has sent for me. He said to his wife, ‘The moon seems to be shining on me today. Hurry up and get my garments, let me go find out the reason for this call.’ The wife said, ‘The food’s ready, have it; who knows when you’ll be free to return.’
But Shastriji didn’t feel it proper to keep the messenger-man waiting. The days were wintry. He put on a green woollen doublet which had red chords on it, and wrapped a gold brocade stole around his neck. Then he wound a Benarasi turban around his head, tied a wide, red-bordered silk dhoti and slipped into his wooden sandals and started on his way. He had a divinely radiant sheen about his face. It was discernible from afar that a mahatma was on his way. Whoever met him bowed in reverence; many shopkeepers got up on their feet with a deferential greeting. They thought—who else but such a soul did Benares retain its prestige in these times? How polite his manners were. He has such a nice smile when he speaks to children. Trailing such reputations Panditji reached the raja’s house where the three friends stood up in salutation. The khanbahadur said, ‘We hope, Panditji, your mood is pleasant. God be praised, you seem to me the perfect human specimen to be put up in an exhibition. Your Heaviness must be weighing not less than ten maund?’
Rai Sahib: ‘For one maund of learning you need ten maund of the grey matter. By the same logic, for one maund of the grey cells a ten maund body is necessary, or else how would the weight above be carried?’
Raja: ‘You, my friends, don’t get the point. Intelligence is like an inflammation; when it can’t be contained in the brain it spills down to the body.’
Khanbahadur: ‘But I have heard the elders say that the corpulent are enemies of wit.’
Rai Sahib: ‘Khan, your mathematics is weak, it seems, or else you would’ve understood this much at least, that when the ratio between the brain and the body is 1:10, then the fatter a person is, the weightier his brain would be.’
Raja: ‘Which proves the theorem that the fatter a man is, the fatter his brain would be.’
Shastriji: ‘If my fat brain is the talk of the king’s court, would I need a slimmer one!’
After these light moments, the raja presented the problem to the pandit and elaborated upon the plan thought out to counter it. He said, ‘So then, Panditji, suffice it to say that your future this year is completely in our hands. Perhaps no one gets presented with an opportunity to set right one’s fate as you have today. If the strike is called off, if nothing else then this much is guaranteed that you won’t have to stand at any gate asking for donations and remuneration for your Brahminical chores all your life. Just think of a penance that would send shivers down the spine of the townsfolk. Those in the Congress have reached this position of strength taking the route of dharma. Chalk out such a ploy that would hit back at their same morals.’
Shastriji replied gravely, ‘This would not be such a difficult task. I possess the power to perform such a variety of solemn rituals that would make the sky rain, render powerless the seize of epidemics, decrease or increase the price of grains. Quelling these Congressists would hardly be a big thing. These English-educated so-called prominent people think nobody else can do the things they can. But they have no knowledge of the secret arts.’
Khanbahadur: ‘One has to say then, most gracious sir, that you are a second God. How could we know that the powers of nature lie encompassed within you? Or else, why would we have remained disconcerted for so many days?’
Shastriji: ‘Sirs, I can trace hidden wealth. I can summon ancestral souls. But it all depends on how qualified my hosts are. There is no dearth as such of invaluable people on earth, only invaluable patrons are scarce. Pricelessness hasn’t disappeared, priceless patrons have.’
Raja: ‘Well, what can we offer you for this ceremonial observance of yours?’
Shastriji: ‘With a holy heart whatever you deem fit.’
Raja: ‘Can you give us an idea about what sort of a ceremony you have in mind?’
Shastriji: ‘Chanting of mantras with a fast. If I don’t shake this town up then Moteram is not my name.’
Raja: ‘So then, when do you begin?’
Shastriji: ‘I can begin from today itself. But first, please arrange for some money for the invocation of the gods.’
There was no paucity of funds. The money was given to Panditji, and he
