Vipin replied angrily, ‘Why are you needlessly bothering me? I am not arguing with you. The heart cannot be forced or convinced by any argument. I never say anything to you. Then why are you arguing with me?’
Asha left after the stern rebuke. She understood that for this lifetime at least, his heart had hardened towards her.4
Vipin enjoyed frequent outings, and sometimes stayed out even during nights. Poor Asha, drowning in anxiety and despair, fell ill. But Vipin would not come to see her even by mistake. Leave alone looking after her, he wished in his heart of hearts that she would die so that he could be free of her. The next time he would check the girl out himself and marry again.
Now he was free of fetters. Earlier, he had been conscious of Asha. At least he had been mindful of the fact that someone was keeping an eye on him. He got so involved in bad habits that the men’s part of the house always remained crowded. But sexual perversity not only robs one of wealth but weakens both mind and body. Vipin’s face began to grow pale, his body weakened and his ribs became visible. Dark circles formed under his eyes. He now began to take great care to adorn himself—he applied aromatic oils, styled his hair differently and changed his clothes frequently. However, all these embellishments failed to reduce the dullness of his face.
One day Asha was lying on a charpoy in the veranda. She had not seen Vipin for weeks. She felt a strong desire to see him. She was afraid Vipin might not come but she could not stop herself and sent for him. Vipin took pity on her. He came and stood before her. When Asha looked at his face, she was shocked. He looked so lean that it was difficult to recognize him. She said, ‘Are you unwell too? You look much worse than I do.’
‘Oh! What attraction does this life hold for me anyway that I should worry about living?’Vipin answered nonchalantly.
‘Nobody withers away like this by worrying about living. Why don’t you take some medicine?’
She held Vipin’s hand and made him sit beside her on the charpoy. Vipin did not try to free his hand. There seemed to be an unusual humility in his behaviour which Asha had never seen before. His words exuded a sense of hopelessness. Although he was indifferent, there was no sign of anger. Asha felt that his eyes were full of tears. Sitting on the charpoy, Vipin said, ‘Only death can cure me now. I am not saying this to infuriate you. God knows that I do not want to hurt you. I may not live for many days now. I can feel the symptoms of a serious disease. Doctors have said the same. I feel ashamed of the fact that you have suffered so much because of me. Please forgive me. While I sit here I can feel my heart sinking. I think I am going to lose consciousness.’
As he was saying this he started shivering suddenly. An eerie sensation caught hold of his entire body. Becoming unconscious, he fell on the cot and his limbs began to convulse. He was frothing at the mouth and his whole body was drenched in sweat.
Suddenly Asha recovered from her illness. For months, she had not left her bed. But now the weakness in her eyes was replaced by a strange burst of energy. Quickly Asha helped Vipin lie down comfortably and started sprinkling water on his face. The maid rushed in too and fanned him. The news reached everyone. Vipin’s friends hurriedly called for a doctor. But even after a lot of effort by the doctor, Vipin did not open his eyes. By evening his mouth took on a twisted shape and the left part of his body became paralysed. He could not even utter a word, let alone move. It was not a mere seizure but a serious attack of paralysis.5
It is not an easy job to nurse a paralytic patient. Besides, Asha herself had been unwell for months. But she forgot herself while nursing Vipin. Vipin was in a critical condition for many days. Asha sat by him day and night. She would prepare nutritious food for him and take his head in her lap to give him medicine. Only such a patient woman could understand the little signs through which he communicated his needs to her. She was heedless when her own head ached or her body burnt with high fever.
After a fortnight, Vipin’s condition started improving. His right foot had become crippled but he started speaking a few words with a lisp. The worst affected part of his body was his good-looking face. It was very badly twisted, as though someone had pulled a rubber toy out of all shape and stretched it out. He would sit or stand for a while with the help of assistive devices but had no strength to walk around. One day while he was lying down on the bed, he thought of picking up a mirror to take a look at his face. He had never seen such a hideous man. He whispered, ‘Asha, God has punished me for my pride. Really, it is the consequence of the wrong I have done to you. Now if you turn your face away with hatred after looking at me, I won’t complain. I want you to take revenge for the way I treated you.’
Asha looked at her husband tenderly and said, ‘I see you with the same feelings even now. I don’t find any difference in you.’
‘What! I look like a monkey now and you say that there is no difference. I won’t go out now.
