It was eleven at night. Rupa was sleeping in the courtyard. But Ladli’s eyes were sleepless. The desire to see Kaki’s happiness while eating the puris did not allow her to sleep. The doll box was right there in front of her. When she felt that Amma had gone to sleep she got up and wanted to go to Kaki. But it was pitch dark outside. Only the embers in the earthen ovens were still lit, and there was a dog sitting there. Her glance fell towards the neem tree beside the door. She felt as though Hanumanji was sitting on it. She could see his tail and mace quite clearly. She closed her eyes in fear. At that moment the dog sat up, which gave courage to Ladli. A waking dog provided her more security than sleeping human beings. She picked up the box and made for Kaki’s room.5
Kaki could only remember that someone had caught her by the hand and dragged her along. Then it felt as though someone was pulling her over a mountain. Her feet stumbled on the stone a couple of times. Then someone threw her down from the mountain and she passed out.
Now that she had come to her senses, there was not a sound anywhere. She thought that everyone must have eaten and gone to sleep, and with them her fate had also gone to sleep. Oh God, how could she spend the night without food? A fire was burning in her belly. Ah! No one spared a thought for me. Will they add to their wealth by cutting down on my food? These people do not show any concern that this old woman might die any day. Why hurt her? I just eat a couple of rotis and nothing more. They grudge me even this. I am a blind and handicapped woman—I don’t hear or understand anything. Even if I had gone to the courtyard Buddhiram could have told me, ‘Kaki, the guests are eating right now, you can come in a while.’ He dragged me and then dumped me here. Rupa abused me before everyone for the puris. Even after doing all this to me, their stony hearts did not melt. They fed everyone, but did not so much as ask me. If they didn’t give me anything then, will they give now?
Arguing thus, Kaki lay down, resigned to her fate. The humiliation hurt her deeply and she had wanted to cry her heart out, but she couldn’t do so while the guests were there.
Suddenly, she heard someone saying, ‘Kaki, wake up. I have brought puris.’ Kaki recognized Ladli’s voice. She sat up with alacrity. She groped for Ladli with both her hands and made her sit on her lap. Ladli took out the puris and gave them to her.
Kaaki asked, ‘Did your Amma give them?’
Ladli replied, ‘No. It’s my portion.’
Kaki grabbed the puris. She emptied the box in five minutes.
Ladli asked, ‘Kaki, did you have your fill?’
Just as a little bit of rain shoots the temperature up instead of bringing it down, the few puris whetted Kaki’s desire and hunger further. She said, ‘No, girl. Go to your mother and get some more.’
Ladli said, ‘Amma is sleeping. If I wake her up, she’ll beat me.’
Kaki scraped the box once again. There were some leftover crumbs that she picked and ate. She licked her lips again and again, longing for more.
Kaki’s heart was craving more and more puris. When the bridge of contentment breaks then one’s cravings cross all limits. If drunkards are reminded of alcohol, they are blinded by their desire for it. Kaki’s impatient mind was carried away by the strong current of her desire. She forgot the distinction between what is right and what is wrong. She resisted her desire for some time, then suddenly said to Ladli, ‘Take hold of my hand and lead me to the place where the guests were eating.’
Ladli couldn’t make out what was going on in her mind. She held out her hand and took Kaki to the place which was now strewn with leaf plates in which people had taken their food. The wretched hungry woman began to pick leftover pieces of puris from the leaf plates and eat them. How tasty was the curd! How delicious the kachoris! And how delicate the khasta! However dim-witted she might have been, Kaki knew very well that she was doing something she shouldn’t do. I’m licking stale plates discarded by others! But old age is the final stage when all our desires concentrate on a single point. In Kaki’s case, this centre was her sense of taste.
Just at that moment Rupa’s eyes opened. She realized that Ladli was not there by her side. She became flustered and looked around the charpoy lest Ladli had tumbled off it. When she didn’t find her, she came out to see her standing beside the debris of discarded leaf plates, while Kaki was eating pieces of leftover puris from them. Rupa was stunned by the sight. Her state at that moment was akin to the feeling of a cow that sees its own throat being slit. What can be a more pitiful sight than a Brahmin woman looking for food in leftovers? For some morsels of puris her mother-in-law was taking recourse to such a lowly and reprehensible act! It was a scene that would shock anyone. It seemed as though the earth had stopped on its axis and the sky was spinning around, that a calamity was going to befall the world. Rupa didn’t feel anger. Her anger melted into deep sorrow. Pity and fear brought tears to her eyes. Who was responsible for this adharma? She raised her hands towards the heavens and said with a pure heart, ‘My God. Have pity on my children. Do not punish me for this adharma. I’ll be ruined.’
Rupa had never witnessed
