“If you make things right again, will this timeline just go up in smoke? Will we remember?” Tina used her wrists to push loose hair from her face; her hands were covered in dust. Again, she did not appear apprehensive as much as intrigued.
For the first time since we entered the attic I’d paused in my rummaging; holding still felt wrong on a subterranean level. Movement suggested purpose, direction. Stillness was admitting defeat. I closed my eyes and whispered, “I don’t know. All I know is that –”
“Tina! You up here?”
My eyes flew open, electricity flaying my skin from the inside out. Tina had mentioned earlier that Mathias hadn’t planned to drive up to Landon until tomorrow but called early this morning to tell them he’d taken an extra day.
Because he’s drawn to you, she surmised. He knew you’d be here, somehow, I’ll bet you.
“Stay here,” Tina ordered in an undertone, squeezing my shoulder as she hurried toward the trapdoor, propped open on the far side of the room. “You look like you’re about to pass out. I’ll distract him.”
No, I tried to say.
But it was too late. The steps creaked and Mathias’s head and shoulders appeared. Spying his sister, he offered a grin as he climbed the last few risers with his typical grace and entered the attic, collecting her in an affectionate embrace. Half-hidden behind a trunk stacked with folded quilts I devoured the sight of him, noting every detail, every difference. Clean-shaven, his wavy hair a mess – he’d been wearing a hat on the way here, I could tell – dressed in worn jeans, work boots, and a green flannel unbuttoned over a gray thermal shirt. My longing for him swelled with the force of an avalanche and I rose, drawn beyond any hope of reason, immediately catching his attention. Tina chewed her lower lip, watching quietly as Mathias headed my way, grinning with his usual amiability.
I felt gutted, filleted, ripped stem to stern.
He stopped with about two feet of space separating our bodies.
“You must be the new schoolteacher.” He offered his right hand. “Mathias Carter.”
Destroyed by our proximity, pummeled by the sight and sound, the scent of this man I had loved all through time, I stood silent and immobile. If I touched him, I would lose my tenuous composure. I saw the teasing glint in his eyes; because I hadn’t moved, he leaned a fraction closer and engulfed my right hand within his own. The shock of the contact almost hurt. I watched, helpless, as his grin was replaced by a sudden sense of bewilderment, which he quickly disguised with a genial running commentary.
“You’re the new history teacher, Mom was saying. You’re taking over for Mrs. Meeker, huh? She was ancient when I had her in junior high so I can’t imagine the poor woman now. She always showed us these old black and white movies on the film projector…”
Our hands remained joined in midair and our real lives, the true timeline, seemed so close that a breath could pierce the barrier.
“Yes,” I managed to whisper.
“I’ve always loved history, too.” Warming to the subject, Mathias indicated the rest of the attic with his free hand. “And there’s a ton of it up here, as you can see.” His dimple flashed as he grinned anew. “I don’t mean to pry, but you haven’t told me your name.”
Heat inundated my neck, climbing my face. “Camille –” I choked back the surname that had been mine for many years – Carter – and stumbled, “Gordon.”
“Camille,” he repeated slowly, as though tasting the syllables. “I’m pleased to meet you.”
So polite, so courteous, every word he spoke a new puncture wound to my heart. Aching and distraught, I withdrew my hand. I thought of what Tish had endured in Jalesville, seeing Case with Lynnette, and found a measure of space to be grateful that Suzy had not accompanied Mathias.
I had almost forgotten Tina until she stepped into my field of view; I recognized the compassion beneath the statement as she softly hinted, “Matty, we’re kinda busy up here.”
But he was not to be deterred; radiating enthusiasm, he asked, “Can I help you guys? What are you looking for?” He shed his flannel in one easy motion, tossing it upon a tattered loveseat. “Something in particular?”
It was beyond foolish to be near him this way. I knew I should go but I couldn’t bear to leave just yet; besides, there were dozens of unexplored boxes. My chest rose and fell with a deep breath and I drew upon a small reservoir of courage. “We’re looking for anything to do with your first ancestors here in Minnesota. I think there’s some sort of connection between the Davises and the Carters as far back as the nineteenth century. Your parents were kind enough to let me look through your attic.”
“Are you kidding? If Dad was here, he’d be on his knees right beside you.” Eager and excited, Mathias resembled our boys. “What have you guys found?”
“Not much from the nineteenth century,” I admitted, returning to the trunk I’d abandoned.
The phone in the kitchen rang; seconds later Diana called, “Tina, it’s Sam!”
Tina hesitated before heading downstairs; she had sworn herself to secrecy and I had promised not to reveal anything to Mathias – at least, not yet. I tried to send her a silent message that I was all right.
Mathias grabbed an unopened box and hunkered down right beside me. “Dad said we’d get started over at the Lodge after lunch, we’re stripping out the floors in the old ballroom, but I’m all yours until then.”
Oh God, don’t look at him…
Instead of opening the box Mathias leaned closer to me, perusing my hair.
Incorrigible, I thought, slammed backward to the first week we’d known one another. Even though his gaze was
