She did not wish to begin her rise to power besieged in her own fortress.
“This is beyond discourteous,” she said softly. “We got an insulting reply from the Golgoth Prince and a terse one from the bears. But the wolf lord cannot be bothered to send a single word?”
“I’m certain he has his own challenges,” Lileth answered.
It was easy for her to be placid. If Thalia failed, Lil wouldn’t be beheaded for her father’s treachery, her skull impaled on a pike as an example to others. Though it had been a long time since the last such barbarous display, these were brutal times. She controlled a shiver, but before she could reply, two brisk raps sounded and Gavriel let himself in.
He slid a significant look at Lileth and Thalia nodded. “Please leave us.”
Considering his last report, whatever he had to say probably wouldn’t brighten her day, but he had served too long and too loyally for her to dismiss a rare request for a private audience. Once Lileth had gone, the door closed behind her, Thalia gestured at the grouping of ornate crimson armchairs. “Make yourself comfortable, then talk.”
Gavriel waited for her to arrange herself first and then took the seat opposite. His red eyes burned with the intensity of white-hot embers as he gazed at her. She had learned to pretend she didn’t notice his unbridled fervor, so different from his customary impassivity. Thalia couldn’t ask for a more reliable agent, but his adoration wouldn’t help her consolidate her hold on Eldritch lands.
“You’ve borne enough disrespect,” Gavriel said, his hands tightly laced. “Send word to House Gilbraith. They’re the next strongest and can help you fight off challengers.”
“Ah. You’re concerned about my pride?”
To some degree, it stung being treated with such a profound lack of deference, but outside of official diplomatic events, she couldn’t expect the Animari or the Golgoth to care about her rank. The cats had offered sufficient courtesy, considering the devastation in Ash Valley at the time. If her ego was so fragile that she couldn’t accept that war brought additional friction, then she had no business trying to lead the Eldritch.
Gavriel bit his lip, visibly choking back some other response. “Not as such.”
Not my pride. My feelings. He’s worried I’ll be hurt.
“It’s not time to contact House Gilbraith.” If Thalia married Ruark Gilbraith, she wouldn’t be queen in her own right, and she wasn’t ready to accept less. “I haven’t completely given up hope of an external alliance.”
One that would tip the balance in her favor, ideally.
He stared at her, all seething injury, and that set a pang of guilt through her. In her service, he’d lost so much: brother, best friend, most of his sword mates. She couldn’t offer what he truly wanted, however, and any other comfort would be hollow.
“Do you honestly think outsiders will be of any real help?” he snapped.
This was the sharpest he’d ever been with her, and Thalia flattened her surprise into chilling reproach. “Perhaps I’ve been lax in allowing you to speak your mind too often.”
Wounded, he fell quiet, and she could see him wrestling with the desire to confess. Gavriel was about to place his heart at her feet and if he did, she would lose him entirely. Nobody could stand to continue working closely with the person who stomped all over their private affections. She pretended she didn’t see that warmth about to boil over.
Standing, she folded her arms, staring down at him. “Noxblade, is it your place to question my decisions?”
Gavriel gazed up at her incredulously for a few seconds longer, then he broke eye contact first. “No, my queen.”
“While I appreciate your service, I will decide what is best. If you have nothing further to report, you are dismissed.”
A long tense moment passed before he sighed and stood up. Thalia had feared he might speak from the heart despite her discouragement. It was sad and tiring to pretend that she didn’t know how he felt, but she would never be free to fall in love like a regular person. Her associations would always be weighed like she was purchasing supplies in bulk at the market.
“Unless you need me, I’ll be scouting.”
In his current frame of mind, that probably wasn’t the best choice. Gavriel wanted to fight, and Thalia wasn’t certain he cared if he won. Under those circumstances, she couldn’t let him go.
“Permission denied. Right now, you need to rest and recover from your ordeal in Hallowell.”
His jaw clenched on what she guessed was a protest. “I’m well enough.”
“How long has it been since you slept?” she asked.
“Irrelevant.”
“Since you can’t or won’t answer, my orders stand. Don’t test me, Gavriel. I’m in no mood. Keep poking at me and I’ll assign you to the archives.”
Shocked, he eyed her with fresh wariness. “You wouldn’t.”
“I admit, it would be a waste of your talents, but at least I know you won’t get yourself killed out of grief.”
Gavriel stiffened, shoulders squaring. “I’m mortified that you would entertain that as even a passing thought. Whatever my emotional state, I will never willingly abandon you, my queen.”
That’s part of the problem.
“I’m glad to hear it,” she said briskly, “but you still need to sleep and eat. Once Dr. Wyeth has cleared you for duty, you can return to the field.”
She strode over to the door, throwing it open as a clear sign of dismissal. Gavriel left without protest, and Lil stepped in with an inquiring look. “Trouble?”
“Nothing I couldn’t handle. He thinks we should give up
