I’m coming to pieces, losing my polish. Soon nobody will want to follow me.
She silenced that malicious inner voice and headed back to the bedroom, where she found Raff awake and eating stew in bed. Of all things, that shouldn’t anger her, but his insouciance, lolling about the pillows, sparked to life a cranky core she hadn’t known she possessed. It wasn’t fair, and she knew that; he was already doing more than they’d agreed upon, so how could she want more? Yet she did, and there was no altering it.
That made her mad too.
Taking her mood out on him was a terrible idea, though, so she tried to smile. “Did you sleep well?”
“Like a hibernating bear,” he said with a luxuriant stretch. “Do we have some new emergency on deck or can you come back to bed for a while?”
The way he said it rubbed her the wrong way, like the constant stream of problems could’ve been prevented by someone else. Thalia clenched her teeth around a sharp reply, deciding to pick his brain instead. He always claimed he wasn’t clever, but she’d seen ample evidence to the contrary.
“Just a small issue.” Perching on the edge of the bed, she explained the dilemma and finished by asking, “Do you have any suggestions?”
Now that she took a proper look at his expression, well, she’d call that…appalled. Raff narrowed his eyes and used a napkin to blot away the traces of his meal, a delaying tactic that hinted she wouldn’t like what he was about to say.
Never let it be said that I can’t accept difficult truths. Let’s hear it.
“Did you ever think that maybe it’s time to let that kind of thing go? You claim you want to build a brighter future for your people, but part of what makes us shy away from the Eldritch is all the backstabbing and the assassination protocols and the years devoted to studying the best way to kill from the shadows. I’ve heard your children start at five, and that’s fucking crazy, Thalia. What parent wants his child learning about poison when he should be playing with other kids and learning his multiplication tables?”
When Thalia flinched, Raff figured maybe he should’ve pulled his punches a little, worked up to the fact that certain aspects of her society were deeply fucked up. She stiffened up like a poker and her face chilled into the polite expression that drove him crazy. Her hands locked behind her, another sign that she was pissed.
“I should’ve known better than to ask you,” she said coldly.
He stilled, getting the first clue that shit might be more serious than he’d suspected. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Exactly what it seems. You’re deeply ignorant of our culture and you’ve just proven that by measuring our beliefs by your standards. I’ve tried my best not to be judgmental when your ways seem backward to me. It appears the same tolerance is beyond you.”
“I may not be as studied as you, Lady Silver, but that sure sounds like a fancy way of calling me a dumbass.”
“Think whatever you wish,” she snapped.
She stalked out, still light on her feet, even in a fury. Raff got out of bed with a snarl, and instead of going after her, he took a long shower and nearly scoured his skin off trying to calm down. As he stepped out, he was still smoldering, but the spike of anger couldn’t entirely conceal the aching disappointment.
I never thought she’d use that against me.
He’d woken up in such a fantastic mood, too. Good sex helped in pretty much every scenario. While the situation still wasn’t ideal, at least they were making progress toward uniting the Eldritch, had retaken Daruvar, and had rooted out the traitor working against Thalia from the inside. Raff had thought they’d gotten to the point where he could be honest, but her reaction proved that she considered him an interloper, one who had no business commenting on Eldritch issues.
His first instinct was to pack his shit and go back to Pine Ridge, but he had to be better than that, even if he was pissed and didn’t want to be. The agreement didn’t provide for piking off after a quarrel, which meant he had to stay here and be useful. Raff set his jaw and tried to leash his temper. Considering her side might help.
Okay, it’s possible I could’ve been more tactful. She came to me with a problem and I basically told her that her way of life was wrong. I could’ve eased into that, maybe.
Or not gone there at all?
That was the tougher question, and the deep sort that Raff wasn’t used to tackling on his own. He wished Janek or Korin were here to give an opinion. He suspected they’d tell him he was a dumb shit, more bluntly than Thalia. Still, he didn’t think he was wrong about kids deserving to have a damn childhood, but he could’ve handled things better, right?
Yeah, definitely.
Sighing, as Raff got dressed, he privately admitted that he’d fucked up, but then, he wasn’t used to dealing with important shit first thing in the morning. That was Korin’s job, or at least, it had been. Which wasn’t fair, he acknowledged, since he got all the respect and she did all the hard thinking behind the scenes.
Need to change that.
Well, he’d give Thalia some time to cool off and then see if he could charm her with some sweet words and a sincere apology. For now, he needed to find Titus and put his idea into practice. If the great cat agreed, this was one way he could help Thalia, a concrete contribution to her cause.
It was good that he went looking early, because Titus was already in the courtyard, ready to head out, when Raff caught him. “Hold up a minute. I need to talk to you.”
“My
