Kira’s mouth was dry. All that skin, all those muscles. All those tattoos. He knew that they were there, he had to. And yet, he continued to slide that cloth up over his shoulder and under his arm.
Nick was at her back. A warm presence that sheltered her, protected her from the storm she knew was coming. The waves rolled, crashed against a shore to further hone the pain that resided in her chest into a thing of terrible beauty. Edges smooth, it glimmered like glass. Everything that was wonderful they had to work for, suffer more than before.
Euan turned, and goodness. Even scarred and lean, he was magnificent. At his shoulder, the jagged puckered skin bisected the tattoo there. The lion’s head was disfigured, warped, mauled. Its face eaten by pink, its ear twisted, only one eye visible …
Much like its master.
The eyepatch suited him. The black leather covered the scarring, the disfigurement and a part of his upper cheek. He looked dangerous with it, threatening. His brow was heavy with creases, his visible brown eye hard, but behind the solid mass was a whirlpool of sentiment. He felt vulnerable with his wounds visible. She could see it.
They had survived a plague that had wiped out ninety-five percent of the population. They had survived the dystopian aftermath, the scarcity of food, the anarchy of a renegade, leaderless population.
Despite all the obstacles, the uncertainty, the mayhem and chaos, they had found each other, had fallen in love.
She wasn’t giving up without a fight. Not this, not them. She wanted to feel Euan’s skin under her fingertips. Trace those scars with her lips, her tongue. Kiss him. Kiss away his pain. Tell him that she loved him, for she did. With everything that she was.
So instead of all the words she meant to say, instead of all the clever things, the articulate and eloquent that needed to be spoken, she said simply, ‘I love you.’
His shoulder sagged, the air left his lungs. His gaze focused on the straw that covered concrete before he closed his eye and squeezed it tight.
The words came from her heart, her soul. They came from that shiny stone of pain and resentment. They echoed inside her, vibrated through her chest, her body.
She reached out for Nick’s hand, took a step towards Euan. ‘I love you.’
He shook his head. Those big shoulders swung with the force of his denial. Euan had never been able to embrace the feelings both her and Nick held for him. He was a powerhouse of strength with a fierce and unrelenting moral code. But he was also vulnerable. His emotional intelligence limited. He was desperate for love, for forgiveness, for compassion and loyalty. He required the words. He needed the reminder, in every poignant moment, love from them was necessary. He longed for something more than just cheap tricks of what the flesh could provide. Euan needed the all-encompassing embrace of love to sustain him, feed his soul, and yet, he often did things that would push those who did love him away.
Like lock them in an underground bunker and risk their death in the search of a man who would likely see his demise.
‘We love you, Euan,’ she said one last time. ‘But we are also very angry at you.’
He nodded, his head still tilted downwards. His wide chest expanded. That lion’s head tattoo stretched and morphed as he took in that great breath. She didn’t flinch when Nick squeezed her hand. She needed his strength now if she was going to get through this. If they were all going to get through this.
It was time.
‘I know.’ His voice was small. A slight shadow to his usual gruff determined dominance.
It broke her heart to hear it. A thousand shards detonated like the starburst on his back. She wanted to rage at him, hit, kick and maim. But apart from knowing that her tiny body would do little damage, she knew that he would let her have her fill to cause him physical pain, and that destroyed her even further.
So she spoke instead. ‘Not everything is black and white. We can love you, and be angry with you at the same time. We can want to hurt you and kiss you at the same time. We can desire to tie you up and maul you while we cry about how much we missed you, how scared we were for you, how utterly euphoric we both were when you woke. Relationships don’t work in linear shapes—’ her face quirked, ‘—especially not ours.’
He relaxed a little, a tremor rippled through him. Nick’s hand squeezed and she shifted her focus until their eyes met. So green, so lovely. Nick was everything to her, but so was the man who had almost destroyed them, and himself. ‘You left us.’
Euan nodded. His fists clenched, large hands that could cause the most incredible pleasure, hands that could, and had, killed men who threatened to hurt them.
‘I’m sorry.’ The words were almost impossible to here. Not because of the volume but because of the torment behind them.
Nick stepped forward then. Spine rigid, shoulders tight, a golden jaw was stone. ‘Look at me when you say it.’
The breath left her lungs when Euan raised his head. A single glassy eye. Their powerhouse of strength, of fortitude and determination. The man that was equal in being her safeguard against the storms of the new words was so broken he was drawn to tears.
She rushed at him. Her footsteps quick and sure. At the last moment she jumped, and just as she knew he would, he caught her. Strong arms of muscle and power wrapped around her. Hands rough with the effort to protect her were in her hair. Her lips were upon his and she tasted salt and sadness. ‘I love you.’ She had lied to herself, she needed to say it again. Would always need to say it again.
He attempted to shake his head. She
