“I … I rather thought I’d be looking after you,” Neptuna interrupted again.
“Well, that too,” said Grodork. “I was hoping you might mention it. Oh, but how I wish we were on the same broomstick together at this very moment. You wouldn’t like to climb aboard mine, would you, my lovely?”
“I would, you gorgeous man!” Neptuna exclaimed rapturously. “But what would I do with my broomstick? We’ll need it, won’t we?”
“I hadn’t thought of that,” replied the gorgeous man.
“And … and who’s going to tell Saturna?” asked Neptuna.
“She’ll find out from someone or other,” replied Grodork. “But come, my sweet, let us sail off into the sunset now, together.”
“That’s the moon, Grodork, dear,” said Neptuna.
“Why, so it is,” he replied.
And so the two lovebirds flew off into the sunset. Or moonset. Or whatever.
“Will they live happily ever after, Miss Switch?” I asked.
“I certainly hope so,” she replied. “I’m not one to hold a grudge. The bewitchment I performed on Grodork is an extremely powerful one, and almost impossible to unbewitch. Neptuna, of course, was bewitched on her own and didn’t need any help.”
“Could you explain how it all happened, Miss Switch?” Spook asked.
“As soon as I find a place to park, I’ll explain,” said Miss Switch.
“How about the monkey bars at Pepperdine, Miss Switch?” I suggested, trying to be funny
“Hmmm,” was all she replied.
“Bathsheba, it was a good one tonight, wasn’t it?” she said. Then she threw back her head and howled at the moon with laughter.
“Brow-ow-owl!” Bathsheba howled right along with her.
Well, as I’ve often said, a witch is a witch is a witch, and that’s the way they do things. Take my word for it!
18
Anything Is Possible
I never thought I’d find myself sitting on top of the monkey bars in the Pepperdine Elementary School playground in the middle of the night. But there I was with Spook, Bathsheba—and Miss Switch! She had actually taken me up on my suggestion. I couldn’t believe it when that’s where she finally landed the broomstick. Spook was pretty thrilled about it, being back at her old school. But it certainly gave me a curious feeling. I mean, let’s face it, Miss Switch, Bathsheba, and Spook were not exactly Peatmouse, Banana, and Creampuff!
“All right, then,” Miss Switch said as soon as we’d settled ourselves. “Where would you like me to begin?”
“Well, I’d like to know what that stuff was that you had me put on Grodork,” I said.
“Do you remember the night I sent you out to find me a toadstoolius enlargius instantium?” Miss Switch replied.
I nodded. I wouldn’t forget that night for a while.
“And do you remember,” Miss Switch continued, “there were two other specimens in your collection that I thought were rare finds, from which I was getting some strong vibrations?”
“Witch’s vibes … I sure do remember that, Miss Switch,” I said. “Were those the toadstools you took with you to Witch’s Mountain tonight?”
“The very ones!” replied Miss Switch. “I put them in an elixir, of course. They were, to be precise, of the genus toadstoolius potionus amorius perpetuum. My vibrations were right on target, as it turned out. Not knowing the details of Saturna’s bewitchment could have been disastrous. If she’d accompanied Grodork and Neptuna, I don’t know how we could have pulled off our stunt. As it was, I was absolutely certain that unlikely pair would never get back to Pepperdine.”
“But, pardon me, Miss Switch,” I said, “why did you have to go to Witch’s Mountain to dump some of this toadstoolius potionus amorius perpetuum elixir on Grodork? Why couldn’t you have just done the same thing here at Pepperdine?”
At this, Bathsheba’s tail bristled. “Bro-ow-owl! Are you dippy, or what?” she snorted.
“No need to be rude, cat!” snapped Miss Switch. “That’s a perfectly understandable question. The first person the bewitchee sets their eyes on after the elixir has been applied is the one who is going to be the object of their affection. Here at Pepperdine, that object could have been just about anyone … including me. It probably would have been me unless I was unbelievably nimble. And I can’t even imagine what it would be like having that handsome basket case draped around my neck the rest of my life!”
“Is this one of those rare bewitchments you mentioned at the museum that actually works with witches?” I asked.
“Rupert,” said Miss Switch, “it works on just about anything that breathes! It’s a very sensitive bewitchment, and extraordinarily difficult, if not impossible, to undo.”
“I think I can see now why you didn’t want any of that … that stuff to get on Spook and me,” I said. “Wouldn’t all the lovey-doveyness that happened to Grodork and Neptuna have happened to us? I mean, we’re only eleven, Miss Switch. Ugh!”
“Ulch!” said Spook.
“You’re quite right about what might have happened, Rupert, which is why I issued the warning. You did as you were told, and now you don’t have to worry about the subject for several years.”
Never, as far as I was concerned. Spook, too, I suspected.
“Do you think Saturna is going to try again?” I asked.
Miss Switch’s eyes narrowed. Then they sent out a huge shower of sparks. Some of them went sailing across the Pepperdine playground, but several of them landed sizzling on the monkey bars. “She’d better not! But I don’t think you need to worry. I think she’ll figure out someday that I must have been around somewhere, and she’ll have to get up mighty early on a witch’s morning ever to try anything like that again. Now, any more questions?”
“I do have one more,” I said. “What about computowitch.com? Do you think Saturna will keep on using it?”
“Not if I have anything to say about it,” Miss Switch replied. “You know, I rather fancy it for myself. I
