Lying in his strong arms afterward, I came to my senses, thinking about the consequences of what we’d done. “We must never let this happen again, Wayne.”
“Why? I’m not sorry it happened. And I doubt you are, either.”
I shook my head. “What we did was wrong. You’re still my sister’s husband.”
“In name only, Rochelle.”
“What do you mean by that, Wayne?” I’d heard the ominous sound of his words.
“We hardly sleep together, lately. I can’t even remember the last time we made love.”
I looked into his sad blue eyes. How could Raven not desire to sleep with this incredibly sexy man, who had just fulfilled my every desire? Was she crazy?
“I think she’s tired of me—bored is a better word.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because she’d rather be out working than home here with me. And lately you’ve been more of a mother to Ty than she has.”
“Have you tried talking to her?”
“Yes, but do you see her? She blows in and out of here as if the apartment had a revolving door. Obviously she couldn’t care less about me or Ty.”
“Sometimes I don’t understand my sister. Perhaps you two should go see a marriage counselor.”
“I doubt she’d go. She obviously thinks everything is fine just the way it is.”
I shook my head in wonderment. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m not any longer,” he said, stroking my cheek.
“It doesn’t change the fact that we mustn’t do this again. If Raven found us in bed together…”
“Let her!”
“No. It would hurt her.”
“And what about me? Don’t you think I’m hurt by the way she’s been acting?”
“My sister’s a fool.”
“Besides—” his voice was soft “—I’m in love with you.”
I went very still when I heard that. I’d always wanted to hear those words spoken by him, but not in this situation. It was wrong—so very wrong. My tears began to fall as I murmured, “No, please. Don’t make it worse.” I picked up my things and hastily put them on, then grabbed my skirt from the closet, despite Wayne’s pleas for me to stay a little longer. I knew in my heart that I wanted that man more than I’d ever wanted any man, but I made a solemn promise that I wouldn’t allow what had happened between us to happen again while he was still married to my sister.
For the next week or so I tried to avoid Wayne. I hoped that time might lessen our feelings and desire for each other. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I even went on a blind date, something I ordinarily would never do. Emmy, a maternity nurse I’d known for several years, fixed me up with her brother. Ray was a nice-looking, sweet guy with a great sense of humor. But even though he was fun to be with, he wasn’t Wayne. The problem was that I compared every man I met to Wayne. And it was no different with Ray.
“Rochelle, you’re exactly as my sister described you.” Ray and I were having a quiet dinner in a Chinese restaurant downtown.
“Is that good or bad?”
He chuckled. “Fishing for a compliment, are we?”
“I’ll take them from wherever I can get them.”
“Okay, then. I’m looking at a beautiful black woman with a gorgeous figure. However, I do believe you’ve got something weighing mighty heavily on your mind.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because part of you is a million miles away.”
“I’m so sorry, Ray.”
“Is it another man?”
“You’re beginning to freak me out. Are you clairvoyant?”
“No.” He smiled. “Only observant. I glimpse such sadness in your eyes.”
“To be honest with you, I have feelings for a married man.”
“I know it’s probably none of my business, but I’ve been there and done that. I can assure you there’s no future in it.”
“I’m well aware of that.”
Ray smiled again. “But since when did good advice ever stop anyone from taking a bumpy ride on love’s merry-go-round and learning from firsthand experience?”
“I wish we’d met at a different time in my life.”
“Me, too. I think we could have started something really nice.”
I smiled and touched his hand. He took my hand, raised it to his lips and kissed it. Our eyes locked for a long moment before he called for the check.
Getting into bed later. I thought about Ray. He was a sweet, sensitive man with a good job, definitely the type of man I should be with, not someone married to my own flesh and blood. I imagined Ray was quite the romantic, never forgetting a woman’s birthday or an anniversary. But despite all those fine qualities, he paled next to Wayne. No other man could possibly fill Wayne’s shoes or the part of my heart that he owned. Damn! Why couldn’t I forget Wayne?
I missed Wayne. Even though I purposely stayed away, I still wondered how he was feeling. I truly hoped my sister had opened her eyes and begun to appreciate the treasure she’d married. I closed my own eyes, imagining our lips locked in a passionate kiss as Wayne stroked my body into a frenzy with his long fingers. Then Ray’s words of caution came back to me and I questioned why I chose to torture myself.
The following evening Wayne knocked on my door. Ty was with him.
“Can I speak to you a minute, Rochelle?”
I opened the door. Ty wanted me to hold him. I took him in my arms and gave him a kiss on his cheek.
“Would you like some coffee?”
“Yes.”
I took out the portable playpen I kept in the closet for those times I babysat my nephew, and put him into it. When the coffee was ready, I set two steaming mugs on the table, one right in front of Wayne. It was difficult to control my overwhelming desire to kiss him. Wayne, however, took charge of the situation. Before I could react, he took
