Rufus was arrogantly unapologetic. He seemed to think Paloma should understand. She had, after all, laughed at the pink wireless vibrating nipple clamps he gave her for her birthday, telling him she’d sooner wear them as earrings if it was all the same to him. Surely Paloma didn’t expect a man like him – a true artist – to suppress his natural creativity so brutally? His self-expression absolutely had to be given free rein, otherwise his art would suffer and his devoted fans would pay the price. Surely Paloma didn’t want that?
Paloma held out the nipple clamps and told him to shove them where the sun never shone.
‘Actually, don’t,’ she amended furiously, snatching them back. ‘Because you’d probably enjoy it way too much. I’ll take them to remind me of the twelve months I wasted, going out with the most self-centred, arrogant, deluded man on the planet.’
And with that, she swept out …
I’d like to have been a fly on the wall for that. I never warmed to Rufus Black.
Paloma turns to me now and beams. The paint on her cheek has been joined by a splodge of chocolate cake mix by the side of her mouth. I indicate its presence by pointing at my own mouth and she flicks out her tongue. ‘Right, must dash or I’ll miss my deadline and lose a client.’ She hops off the stool and disappears, calling, ‘See you later!’
When the doorbell rings a few minutes later, I assume Paloma must have forgotten something. So you could knock me down with a feather when I open the door to find someone else standing on the doorstep.
Jason.
Chapter 15
‘Hi! What are you doing here?’ I feel unaccountably nervous.
‘Just came to wish you luck for tomorrow.’ He gives a sheepish smile. ‘I know I could do that tomorrow, but everyone else will be there and you’ll be busy.’ He shrugs. ‘We haven’t really had a chance to chat, just the two of us, since you’ve been back.’
I nod. It’s funny but I’d been feeling exactly the same. ‘Come in. I’ll put the kettle on.’
When we broke up all those years ago, I was absolutely distraught but deep inside, I remember thinking it was probably for the best in the long run. In our last year together, the passion had waned and we’d become principally great friends rather than romantic lovers. I bore Jason no ill will for ending our relationship – despite the fact it was to start seeing Lucy, my archenemy. It was just one of those things. Our relationship had faltered under the strain of being long-distance, with me away at uni. And I grudgingly acknowledge that the fact he and Lucy are still together after all this time probably means he made the right decision.
But it still feels like there’s unfinished business between us. Nothing major, but it would be nice to really talk. I loved Jason for a long time, and if I’m being honest with myself, I think I still do on some level …
‘Sit down.’ I pull a chair out from the kitchen table and Jason flops into it, and I’m aware of his gaze following me as I fill the kettle and gather cups and coffee and teaspoons.
‘I never thought you’d come back to Hart’s End. Not properly, like this,’ he says. ‘I knew how much you hated what Lucy did to you as a kid. I suppose I assumed that as long as she was living here, you never would.’
I turn, fixing on a smile, bringing the coffee over. ‘Well, it just shows you should never assume things. And anyway, that’s all in the past.’ I wave my hand as if it’s of no consequence to me that, already, we’re talking about Lucy.
‘Well, I’m glad you’re here,’ Jason says with a shy smile, stirring his coffee. ‘How does it feel to be back in the village after life in the big city?’
I laugh then glance at the ceiling, considering. ‘It feels … okay, actually. I mean, I was nervous about coming back but people have been really welcoming on the whole, so … yes, it’s fine.’
‘On the whole?’
I feel my face flush. The only person who’s made me uneasy since I’ve been back is Lucy, but I don’t want to talk about her to Jason, so I say, ‘No, everyone has been nice about my return. Sometimes, it feels as if I’ve never been away.’
He looks at me without speaking for a moment, his brown eyes sad. Then he shuffles in his chair and says, ‘I never wanted to hurt you, Twilight. I loved you so much, but …’ He shakes his head, almost angrily.
I swallow hard on the sudden constriction in my throat. Then I force myself to say brightly, ‘I know, but long-distance relationships are a killer. It would never have worked. It’s probably just as well you started to have feelings for Lucy.’
He glances down. ‘But that’s the thing, Twi. I didn’t. Not really. At least, not at the start.’
I stare at him in surprise. ‘What do you mean?’
He takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly. Then he looks at me and says, ‘I didn’t cope well with you leaving for university. I ran up debts, drowning my sorrows in drink and buying expensive toys to dull the pain of not having you there all the time. It was a bad time. And I wasn’t earning much as an apprentice in the IT company.’
‘I never knew,’ I say, dismayed. ‘You always sounded so cheerful on the phone.’
He laughs bitterly. ‘Of course I did. It was an act. The last thing I wanted was to make you feel guilty about following your dreams.’
‘So what happened? You got out of debt, didn’t you?’
He nods. ‘Yes, with Lucy’s help.’
This is all news to me.
‘She’d liked me
