I can’t speak. She’ll recognise my voice. And the last thing I want is Lucy knowing we’ve gone to such great lengths to spy on them, because then she’ll know she’s won!
Paloma clears her throat. ‘Eeh, we’re fair t’middlin’, thanks fer askin’.’
I swivel my eyes at her in astonishment. Her voice has gone deep, like a man’s. A man from Yorkshire, weirdly.
‘Mind, it’s chuffin’ roastin’ out.’ She wafts her hat brim vigorously. ‘Eeh ba’ gum, I’m absolutely sweatin’.’
‘Good, good,’ murmurs Olivia politely. ‘And what can I get you both?’
I turn slightly so I can see her expression. She’s staring down at Paloma as if she can’t quite believe her eyes.
‘Eeh, gi’us one o’ them butties each and a mug o’ tea and we’ll be ’appy as pigs in muck!’ Paloma points at the food on the next table and a bemused Olivia goes to write something down in her order book then stops.
‘Erm, those sandwiches are made from rye bread?’ she says hesitantly, pen poised in mid-air, as if no one with such a thick Yorkshire accent could possibly want anything other than the sort of stodgy white processed bread that sticks to your teeth.
Paloma nods approvingly. ‘Aye, that’s champion, flower.’ When Olivia walks off, Paloma says, ‘Eeh, she were nice, considering she’s not from Yorkshire!’
I hold in my laughter until Olivia walks away. ‘I can’t believe you did that. That accent was a sort of a weird combo of Geordie and Yorkshire.’
She grins. ‘Aye, it’s reight grand oop north, apparently.’ She glances behind her and her face falls. ‘Oh, bugger, I think she might have clocked it was us.’
‘Really?’ I look over at the counter. Sure enough, Olivia and Lucy are in deep discussion and they’re frowning in our direction.
Lucy starts walking over and I groan.
‘I knew this was a bad idea!’
‘No, you didn’t, you were all for it,’ reminds Paloma, trying not to smile.
I adjust my sunglasses and look round at Lucy, psyching myself up for her catty comments.
‘Ladies, hello,’ she says. ‘Was it the salad on rye you wanted or the humus?’
There’s a brief silence.
I’m so relieved Lucy appears not to have recognised us, my whole body relaxes. ‘Salad please.’
Lucy nods and turns away. Then she stops.
I gaze at Paloma in a panic. Why didn’t I let my Geordie Yorkshire friend answer?
Lucy carries on walking, picks up a newspaper from a display by the counter, and walks back to our table. She opens the newspaper to a certain page, folds it over and beams at me. ‘Nice to see you, Twilight. Having a morning off? Shouldn’t you be catering to your hordes of customers right now? But maybe The Twilight Café is so popular, you’ve had to hire extra staff already.’
She drops the newspaper onto the table in front of us. ‘A little reading material for you. I’m sure you’ll find it interesting. I presume you’d like to cancel the sandwich order?’
She tosses her head and walks off, leaving Paloma and I staring after her.
Chapter 19
I turn to the newspaper story, swivelling it slightly so Paloma can read it, too.
Sparkling Clean Café is a Hit in Hart’s End!
The heading, in big bold type, makes something die inside me. But I read on with a sort of horrible fascination.
‘Clean eating’ is the buzz phrase of the moment in the health and fitness world and two enterprising young women have brought this trend to Hart’s End – with great money-spinning success.
Lucy & Olivia’s Clean Food Café, situated on the village high street, opened just a week ago, but already, the establishment is proving to be a runaway triumph.
Lucy Slater and Olivia Bright, both 32, share a firm belief that ‘we are what we eat’, and they’re on a mission to prove to locals that they can improve their health and wellbeing immeasurably, just by making changes to their diet, eating the kind of vegan-based food the café provides.
Says Lucy, ‘All our food is extremely wholesome, but please don’t assume we frown upon goodies like cakes and biscuits. We have an absolutely delicious courgette cake on the menu, or why not try our heavenly pumpkin breakfast cookies?’
On the opposite page is a cut-out coupon that announces: Eat at Lucy & Olivia’s Clean Food Café and feel on top of the world! Plus, bring a friend and they can eat FREE!
I stare at the advert, a queasy feeling inside. All my determination of earlier has vanished completely. How can I hope to compete with an offer like that?
Paloma slides off her stool, snatching up the newspaper, and I follow her out of the café with a heavy heart. She shoves the paper into the mouth of a public waste bin that’s right outside the café.
‘No, I want to keep it,’ I tell her, pulling it out again, and in doing so, something underneath catches my eye.
Staring into the bin, I can’t believe what I’m seeing. It’s one of my missing posters.
‘Look at this,’ I say to Paloma, pulling it out. ‘Is it a coincidence that this should be found in the bin outside Lucy’s café? I think not!’
Paloma looks amazed. ‘The scheming little cow. So she’s the one who made your posters “disappear”. Might have bloody known.’
Now that I’m out of sight of the windows, I tug off the scarf part of my disguise. I never suspected Lucy of removing the posters because at that stage, there was no reason to. But now … well, now it’s fairly obvious it was her.
‘I’d like to know how she managed to get that story in the paper,’ grumbles Paloma. ‘I mean, really it should be an advert, not bloody news!’
‘I know exactly how she managed it.’ Irritably, I smooth my hair down and pull off my sunglasses. ‘Her dad’s a businessman with fingers in so many pies, he should be running a bloody bakery! No doubt he’s done a “favour” in the past for some head honcho on the paper and now it’s his turn to
