She was wet.
She was ready for me.
I put my head back and groaned as I felt hertorso move against my hand. I put my lips back onto her nipple andsucked hard. Her hands, that were previously in my hair, moved downto my zipper. And then it was down, and she was grabbing ahold ofme.
“Oh my God,” I moaned, and felt as if I’dburst. This was the first time Keri had ever… I closed my eyes, andlicked at her breast and then moved to the other. Each time shestroked up, my tongue did the same to her nipple. She was wild.
“Payton, please,” she begged, and I stoppedand looked up into her eyes. “Please?”
I closed my eyes and hurriedly removed myboxers and jeans, and she took her shorts down the rest of the way,along with her underwear. I quickly searched my jean’s pocket formy wallet, and took out the lone condom that was still in the back.“You’re sure you want this?”
Keri nodded and put her arms around me, andher tongue touched my lips. That’s all I needed.
I hurriedly shucked the wrapper, and glidedthe condom down my shaft, and then I flipped her onto her back.
She smiled up at me. “The grass.”
I shook my head. “Sorry about this…Maybe…”
“No, it’s… perfect.”
I bent down to kiss her once more, thenshoved my way into her, but not before feeling something else.
Keri’s eyes were wide when I looked intothem and realized what I had done.
Mitch was right; she wasn’t lying.
Keri put her hands around me, and like thedog that I was, I continued moving until I was spent, and nearlyforgot about what I had done.
What the hell was I going to do now?
I moved slowly away from her, and floppedonto my back. I just breathed, and chanced a look at her. She wasstaring at me. I swallowed. “Hi.”
She smiled softly. “Hi.”
“You okay?”
She nodded. “You?”
I shook my head. “What?”
“You, you know…was it…?” Her face fell justthen, and I knew that she knew I wasn’t a virgin before tonight.She closed her eyes for a quick second, and tried to recover. “Imean, was I okay?”
“Don’t do that,” I said, feeling like a realprick.
“Do what?” she asked, and if I didn’t knowbetter, I’d think she was telling the truth. But I knew better. Iknew Keri better than anyone.
“Pretend with me. I’m sorry I was sorough.”
Keri nodded, and a few tears escaped. “Itwasn’t that bad, I mean, I liked it.”
I scoffed. “Don’t lie to me, Keri.”
“I’m not, I wasn’t…”
“I was with Patti last month,” I blurtedout, and I watched as her bottom lip trembled. “I thought…”
Keri sat up and grabbed her bra from behindher head and started to put it back on. “I know.”
“I swear to God if I thought there was achance for you and…”
“It’s okay. I mean, it’s no big deal,right?”
“Damn it, Keri, I know it’s a big deal.” Itook the condom off and wrapped it up in the old foil, and thenreached for my boxers.
“Then why her?” she asked,panicked.
“You know why,” I said, and took a deepbreath.
“You thought I was with him?”
“Yeah,” I said, feeling just as horrible asI did that night.
“I went back to his house, and thought thatmaybe I could have something with him.”
I closed my eyes, not wanting to hear any ofit. I couldn’t imagine it; didn’t want to imagine it. “Please,don’t.”
“I have to. I thought, here’s this guy, andhe knows a lot about the stuff that I like, the stuff that Ithink’s important.”
“Keri—”
“And I, well, he and his girlfriend justbroke up, and I wanted to just be friends with you. Not because Ididn’t care about you, but because it was so hard being so faraway. I wanted…I needed you there. And I know that’s not yourfault, Payton.” Keri had tears streaming down her cheeks now. Shereached for her shirt, and then her shorts, and soon she was fullydressed.
“And, I thought I could do it. I thought Icould be with someone else because I needed to have something… Idon’t know, normal, something different. I wanted to experiencecollege.”
My jaw tightened, and I tried not to hearwhat she was saying. “And?”
“He kissed me. He pushed me up against hisapartment wall, and had his hands on me, and his lips pressedagainst mine, and all I could think was, there’s no zing.Nothing.”
“How’d he get your phone?”
Keri had an odd look on her face now, andshe sighed. “Well, I had to go to the bathroom, because when Ifigured out that I didn’t want to kiss him anymore, I got upset andwanted to wash my face. He was nice about it, though. I told himthat I thought I wanted to be with him, but I couldn’t.”
“Did he hurt you?”
Keri shook her head. “He hurt me when hetexted you, but I swear to God I didn’t know anything about that.He did that when I was washing my face. I saw your text hours laterabout Patti’s party, and then I saw his to you, and your reply. Itmakes me sick just thinking about it. Everything.”
Keri was shaking now, and I felt justwretched. “Then what?”
“Then I tried calling you, and texting you,and you wouldn’t answer. And Mom, well she told me not to come homefor Christmas, she said it wasn’t a good idea.”
I looked down at that last part and feltlike my stomach would give out. Her own mother told her not to comehome for Christmas. Her first Christmas without her own father.
“Keri, God, I’m so sorry. I…I don’t knowwhat to say,” I said, and could feel the tears coming. I was a mannow, and all I seemed to do lately was act like a fucking idiot. Iswiped at my eyes and went to hug her, but I couldn’t. I was a dickof the highest order. I never gave her the chance to explainthings, and then all this happened.
Patti happened.
Fuck.
“I’m assuming he’s out of the picturenow?”
Keri scoffed. “The second I found out
