Mitch’s eyes widened. “Shit.”
I kept heaving until there was nothing left.“But…” I sobbed. “I…”
“Damn it. Keri, are you okay?”
I cried. “Now you care?”
Mitch put his hand on my back and rubbed itslowly. I was shaking, and I felt absolutely wretched. Payton hadmoved on. I heard his voice once more. “I want all of my firstswith you.” My sobbing got louder and louder until I soundedlike a lunatic. Mitch kept rubbing my back.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry, Keri. I shouldn’thave…”
“No,” I shook, “it’s… it’s…fine. I’mjust…”
“This sucks, and you know it,” Mitchreplied.
I nodded.
“Let’s get you out of this…area…”
My breathing was heavy and it was becomingincreasingly harder to get air. My chest shook, and Mitch held onto me as we moved away from my favorite place in the world.
“Is he okay now?” I asked, hoping that hewas and wasn’t at the same time.
Mitch shook his head. “I don’t know. Wedon’t see him anymore.”
I turned toward Mitch and my lips trembled.I was going to lose it even more than I already had.
“Stop, okay? I’m sorry for what I said.”
I nodded. “I didn’t do anything… I kissedhim, well, Jessup kissed me, and then I stopped it. I knew as soonas it happened that it was a mistake, and I figured it allout.”
Mitch nodded, and I wasn’t sure if he gotwhat I was telling him.
“I knew, Mitch. I know now how Paytonwas feeling.”
Mitch smiled sadly. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah,” I said, sniffing, “me, too.”
***
Payton
I hadn’t been home since Christmas morning.Mom was mad at Dad, and it was all my fault. Things hadn’t gonewell in a while, and I didn’t want to spend one more minute in thathouse, knowing that the “I told you so’s” were coming. Keri made acomplete fool out of me, and I let her.
The night of the text, I just lost it, and Ican’t get that moment out of my head. Stealing liquor out of myparents’ cabinet, drinking in excess, and burning down the treefort, with myself in it.
The cops told my parents that I wassuicidal, and I think they still believe that to be true.
Maybe I was… Maybe I am. I don’t know whatto believe anymore.
I was with Patti now, and she liked me.Loved me. And, it felt good to have those feelings returned, eventhough it was impossible for me to say those words to her. I wishedI could. Keri killed my heart.
I looked down at my phone and saw the textcome in and frowned.
Keri made it home.
She was in our field.
She saw the fort.
My lip trembled as I replayed the moment Igot the text from her “boyfriend” and I picked up my fist andslammed it into the desk.
She didn’t love me. She loved him.
My jaw clenched, and I texted my brotherback.
*Who cares…*
I waited for his reply.
She’s devastated, Payton.
*Once again, who cares?*
She said that she didn’t do anything withthis guy…
I read the message and felt my blood pumpthrough my veins. I could feel my heart hammer and, with each thud,I felt as if I’d be sick. She was lying.
*Well, I don’t believe her.*
She seemed like she was telling thetruth.
Fuck, Mitch. My own brother stickingup for her.
*She’s good at lying.* I replied, andput my head down in my hands. I’d never known Keri to lie in mylife, even when there were times that it would have been easier todo so.
Believe what you want. She’s very upset.
*Good. Now maybe she’ll know how Ifeel.*
I’m outside. Let’s talk.
“Who you textin?” came Patti’s voice.
I hurriedly shut my phone, feeling guiltyand wiped at my eyes. I felt like a total idiot, pining for the onethat got away when I had a perfectly good woman already in mylife.
“It’s nothing,” I said smoothly. Pattifrowned. “I’m surprised to see you here today.”
She shook her head. “It’s that tramp, isn’tit?”
Immediately, I was on the defensive. “Don’tcall her that.”
“Why do I even bother?” Patti asked.“Seriously, Payton. We’ve been together now for six months.”
“Don’t say that, Patti. I know, and I’mhappy.”
“Then why are you talking to her?”she said, sounding anxious. “Let me see your phone.”
“She didn’t text me,” I said, defendingmyself.
“Then who did?”
“Mitch.”
Patti scoffed. “Oh, your brother? The onethat hasn’t bothered to come see you?”
She was right. Mitch and I hadn’t seen eachother since Christmas, but it wasn’t all one-sided. I didn’t wantto go home, and he didn’t want to cause a rift between himself andour parents.
“Yeah.”
“Well, that’s cute. What did he do? Did hetell you as soon as she landed? Is she over there waiting for younow?”
I sighed. “Patti, please don’t do this. It’snot my fault that Mitch texted me.”
“Let me see your phone, Payton,” she saidonce again, and I flinched.
“No.”
“No?” she asked, eyes wide.
“No.” I took a deep breath and waited forher reaction, when the door to the office opened and my boss walkedin.
“Hi, Patti; hi, Payton.”
“Hey, George. I’m almost done in here.”
George smiled. “It’s fine, I just wanted youto know that your brother’s outside.”
I put my head down and sighed, Patti waslivid. George took the hint and walked back out of the office, notsaying anything.
“Are you going to go out there?” Pattiasked.
“I’m sure he’s going to come in here,” Ifinished.
“No, no, I’m not putting up with this,”Patti said, and then shook her finger at me, “you need to put anend to this…this, whatever it is.”
“I really don’t know what you’re talkingabout, Patti. Like I said, I didn’t know she was home. Mitch is theone that texted me.”
“And you didn’t tell him to just stuffit?”
I laughed gruffly. “No, and I won’t. He’sstill my brother.”
“Then we’re done!”
I nodded. “That’s fine with me,” I said, andPatti started to freak out. She picked up some papers off my deskand started throwing them in all directions, and then she picked upa picture frame that she had made up of both of us and threw itagainst the wall.
“Fuck you, Payton!” she cried, and just as Iwas about to stop her, Mitch walked in.
“Hey, what’s…”
“And fuck you, too, Mitch!” she yelledbefore she walked out the door.
Mitch grinned as I looked up, and he pointedto the chair. “Is it all right if I?”
“Go ahead,” I
