‘I am a Scot, didn’t you know? I made my bid for freedom after doing twelve – I wasn’t going any higher in the RAF – and joined the civvy police. Better pay and nobody shoots at you . . . well, not so many, anyway. They made me a sergeant.’
‘And I suppose you’re here by accident?’
‘Not entirely. I’m at the police office at Fort William. Your name came up on a general request from London yesterday. I didn’t think there were that many “Bassett C”s in the country, so when Shieldaig himsel’ phoned Fort William for an ambulance and a bomb-disposal squad, mentioning a small fellah named Charlie who might just know what the devil was going on, I put three and three together, and got in the car. The Scotland Yard signal didn’t say much – who have you upset now?’
‘Have you heard of a long-nosed fellow called Inspector Fabian? He caught murderers, writes for the papers, and is supposed to be retired.’ I’d knocked back my Scotch. Doris was watching the conversation go from me to Alex and back like a spectator at Wimbledon.
Alex said, ‘Hard luck. He’s a tough bastard, isn’t he? You’d better have another.’ What he meant was that we’d both better have another. My body gave a final tremor, and then began functioning again.
‘Pour three. One for Doris. Doris, this is Alex. He used to be a friend of mine but he’s wearing a funny dark blue uniform, so I’m no longer sure. Alex, this is Doris. She’s an American and plays by American rules. I wouldn’t believe a word she says if I was you.’
Doris gave him her Marilyn smile. She held out her hand for the ritual. He shook it, and then placed a hefty Scotch in it.
She said, ‘That’s right. I’m Doris. I probably have diplomatic immunity.’
Alex smiled again. He liked jokers.
‘What does probably mean? Don’t you know?’
‘It means that I probably don’t have it right this moment, but will have as soon as you let me speak to the embassy.’
Alex lifted his glass in a silent toast, and asked, ‘Would it help if I suggested putting off any more talk until you two had soaked in a bath for an hour, and put some warmth back into your bones?’
The bathroom was at the end of the corridor on which our rooms were situated. Doris ran the bath half full of steaming hot water – that seemed to be something that none of these Scottish hotels were short of – stripped me off like a baby, and helped me into it. I thought she’d underfilled it until she stripped off herself, and joined me. I hoped she’d turned the key in the door lock. With both of us semi-submerged the water came up to within three inches of the top of the tub: maybe she’d done this sort of thing before.
We took the hour Alex had given us, but when we came down he had gone. So had George and the ambulance. So had mine host and our brave bomb detector. Ean’s wife beamed at us and said, ‘The sergeant will be back in the morning – he has to meet some people from the army. He said to feed you well – you’ve had a trying day. He’ll see you tomorrow.’
‘What’s the time, Mrs Galbraith?’ I’d left my watch upstairs.
‘Just past seven, sir. Dinner’s in an hour, but the bar’s open.’
‘Maybe we’ll just go upstairs and rest,’ Doris told her. The glorious Freemasonry of women exchanged sly smiles. They’d be speaking in tongues next.
Upstairs I flopped on the bed. Beat, but not too beat. Doris looked relaxed.
‘Don’t worry, Charlie. The state department is very good at papering over the cracks, and your government will muzzle the natives with some sort of Hide the Secrets Act, and lots of money – no one will want any of this to get out. They’ll probably be very pleased that there was someone as diplomatic as you along to hold our hands. I wonder if someone may even have steered us to you for that very reason in the first place.’
‘I doubt it. Apparently the FBI has already complained about me to our Foreign Office.’
‘Posturing – you know what these civil servants are like. They’ll probably give you a Purple Heart on the quiet – to keep you quiet.’
‘Don’t want one.’
‘What do you want?’
‘I want you again.’
After enough of a pause Doris sighed, and whispered, ‘I wish you wouldn’t talk so crude,’ as she clambered over me. I don’t understand it. I’ve met them from time to time, and so have you: these wonderful and terrible women who – periodically – can’t get enough of you, but don’t like saying it with real words. So I kissed that superb triangular hollow in her shoulder blade, and whispered, ‘I want to take you on a trip to the moon on gossamer wings.’
‘That sounds much too corny – as if it’s from a song.’
‘If it isn’t, then it soon will be.’
Alex came in and plonked himself down at our breakfast table the next morning. He didn’t say no to an enormous free breakfast: that’s cops the world over for you. What goes around comes around. Egg yolk was dribbling delicately down his chin as he said, ‘I hope that you two have said your goodbyes. I’m to see you packed this morning and carry you into Fort William at lunchtime, where you’ll be split.’
‘Where am I going?’ Doris asked him.
‘Edinburgh. There’s an American consul there. If he bats for you you’ll be on your way – free as a bird. If
