It was an unreasonably happy Charlie who drove to Yassine’s Hotel, and scraped one of the car’s wings against the stone gatepost. Yassine came out onto the steps smoking one of the long cheroots he favoured. He was wearing a gleaming white dishdash, and a battered red fez. It was odds on he was feeling peculiarly Lebanese again that morning.
‘Yah, Charlie.’
‘Yah, David.’ I had never asked him what yah meant, or worked it out for myself. He had several words which were particular to him; I think he made them up.
‘Mr Watson’s car.’
‘Yes. That’s right. Where can I buy one?’
‘Middle East main dealer in Beirut. He’s been sending them to Kuwait, to the oil companies – they are very good in the desert.’
‘How much?’
‘Four hundred and twenty as a tax-free export. Maybe seventy pounds shipping fee?’
‘I want one.’
We were joking of course, but everything David said was likely to be true. He carried money in his head the way other people carry dreams.
‘You come for breakfast?’
‘Stuffed vine leaves and haloumi?’
‘As you wish. Do you want your woman woken?’
‘Not yet. Let her lie. Let’s go into the garden and talk.’
Yassine looked as stretched out and relaxed as I felt. He must have had a good night.
‘What car you drive in England, Charlie?’
‘A Sunbeam – a sports tourer.’
‘You really want one o’ these fat ol’ Humbers instead?’
‘I rather think I do – I’ll see to it as soon as I get home. I’ll get married and settle down, be a decent father to my boys . . . probably become a Scoutmaster.’ I stretched my feet beneath the table; it was one of those kinds of morning.
‘You will die of boredom, my friend.’
‘That’s a very good thing to die from, David. I’ve made a lot of money since the war – mainly by following good advice given to me by friends like you. I want to live long enough to begin to spend some of it.’
‘I take it that you require some more free advice?’
‘No, help. I may need to lay my hand on four or five grand without much warning. I have plenty of cash, but no arrangement to access it out here. If I wrote you a cheque for that amount, could you cash it?’
He didn’t answer immediately. One of his girls had approached us with coffee, stayed and poured it. I caught a whiff of her as she bent over the cups. Brown and musky. When I flicked a look up I saw her large dark eyes, and a slightly knowing smile. What was that question Fiona had asked me again? When we were alone again Yassine let his face slip into its serious mode.
‘Are you in trouble, Charlie?’
‘No. I told you the truth – I just may need to lay my hands on a large amount of cash in a hurry. Could you help?’
‘Of course. And the cheque is good?’
‘Yes. I wouldn’t cheat you. I have a bank account in Germany. I bought a house south of Frankfurt just after the war, and the Americans rent it from me for their staff officers. They’ve had it for ten years now, and pay the rent straight into my bank account by some fancy method or other. The rent goes up every year. I’ve never taken anything out, so there could be tens of thousands in there.’
‘Don’t you know, Charlie?’
‘Not exactly.’ That feeling again – as though you were up in front of the headmaster again, for an offence you didn’t know you’d committed. Yassine shook his head ruefully.
‘That money should be doing something for you, Charlie.’
‘It’s going to,’ I told him. ‘It’s going to save my life. You don’t want to know the rest.’
Silence. Then a bulbul began to whistle. I could get to like those musical birds.
‘OK.’ He clapped his hands. ‘You ready to eat now?’
‘Yes, please.’
‘You don’t go making no big sheep’s eyes at the girl who brings it, OK? I don’t want her dropping no more plates.’
‘OK.’
We had two conversations over breakfast. One was about that Humber saloon, and the other about a woman.
He told me how to buy my car without the inconvenience of paying purchase tax or car tax. I suppose that there is always a scam if you know who to ask. Yassine proposed that the Beirut dealership buy two cars, one in my name, and one for itself, but only export one. He knew how to fiddle the papers, mix up their identities, so that one remained in the UK tax free.
‘How much will I save?’
‘Coupla hun’red pound.’
‘And you’re sure this will work?’
He laughed, and lit another of his cheroots.
‘Charlie. The dealer does this all the time for your lords an’ ladies back in England. Rolls-Royces and Bentleys. Big Daimlers like the Queen. You want a Daimler? You think they ever pay taxes like an ordinary man? What’s the point of being a lord if you pay taxes like an ordinary man? These guys never pay their taxes.’
‘Who is this car dealer, David? One of your relatives?’
‘No.’ I didn’t press him. I just waited until he said, ‘Is me.’
What I did ask him was, ‘Are you the richest person I know, David?’
‘Dunno, Charlie. How many rich people you know?’
I tried again.
‘Are you the richest man in Cyprus?’
He thought about it, and scratched his face. Then he smiled
