“I can’t help it if she’s not happy with me,” David started to list the things that Ida did wrong and point out what a nag she could be, when he was suddenly overcome by emotion. Reaching up to try to brush at his eyes before Pete saw him crying, David managed to say, “There was no way to change anything. I just had to sit back and wait for this to happen. It’s been like waiting for a storm to come...you may not like it, but it’s bound to come when the clouds start gathering in the sky. And with every day that passed, it felt like I was growing more anxious just to get it over with.”
Pete’s brows were knit together as he muttered, “I’m not sure I understand...”
“Ach, Pete.” David threw up his hands, “The drinking wasn’t bad when I first started, but things changed...they changed and I didn’t even realize it. One day, I woke up to find that I couldn’t stop drinking, even if I wanted. And since then, things have been just awful.”
“Does Ida know this?”
David shook his head, “No, no she doesn’t! And I don’t mean for her to, either. She knows I drink some, but she doesn’t know that it’s like this.”
Taking a deep breath, Pete asked, “Do you intend to just keep going on like this forever?”
David hated Pete’s question but he hated his answer even more, “I don’t see that I have much of a choice.”
The clucking of chicken was the only sound in the silent barn as Pete thought. Finally, he announced, “David, the church isn’t just here for the fun community frolics and get-togethers...ultimately, we’re here for each other. If you want to get past this...we’re going to help you.”
David could hardly believe what he was hearing. The fact that the bishop had heard his most awful secret and was willing to help him rather than just condemn him was almost more than David could start to grasp.
Nodding his head slowly, David took a deep breath, “At this point, I think I’m up for any kind of help I can get.”
His voice growing even more serious, Pete announced, “David, most important next to having the help of the Lord, you’re going to need the support of your wife.”
The thought of Ida instantly made David’s stomach lurch. Shaking his head vigorously, David fought the suggestion, “Not that, Pete. My wife’s as good as gone. Hearing this...it will only make things worse.”
Reaching out to give David a pat on the back, Pete assured him, “I don’t know that it can get much worse with her. At least give it a try.”
Chapter Six
Standing by the front window, David felt completely nervous as he watched his wife get out of the driver’s car and start toward the house. He had gone against his better judgment and followed the bishop’s suggestion by calling Ida and asking her to come over. Watching her now, David wished that he could go back in time and undo it all.
“Hello, David,” Ida muttered as she stepped into the house and shut the door behind her, “Why did you call me over?” She seemed nervous, which instantly set David on alert...what did she think he was going to do, anyway?
Taking a deep breath, David motioned toward the kitchen, “I want you to see something.”
Following him uncomfortable, Ida let David lead her to the kitchen where he had pile of empty bottles spread out on the table.
“Ach, David!” Ida exclaimed, her eyes growing large, “What on earth is that?”
“This,” David announced, “Is what I have drunk since you left with Lucas. I’d like to say that I only drank this much because you took away my son, but that would be a lie. I’ve been drinking like this for years.”
Ida let out what sounded like a gasp and shook her head, “David...that’s hard for me to believe...”
“I let you think I only drank a little bit,” David explained, “I’d show you a bottle every once in a while so you’d think I still had it under control. I’ve done that since we got married...and before that, too. When I lived at home, I had my family convinced I only drank for special events...my mom was the only one who knew the truth. She kept telling me that I would end up losing everything if I didn’t stop. When she died, she made me promise her on her death bed that I would stop drinking. At that point, I truly thought I could. It was only when I tried to stop that I realized how bad off I really am.”
Looking at his wife, David was surprised to see that she didn’t look angry or scornful or disgusted.
“After that, I realized that she was right,” David admitted, “I realized that mamm had it right when she told me that my drinking was going destroy my life and tear my family apart.”
“What are you going to do?” Ida managed to whisper.
David shrugged, “Bishop Pete said that the church is going to help me in some way.” Taking a deep breath, he managed to say, “If you want to leave, I’ll understand.”
To his surprise, Ida moved closer to him and reached out to put her hand on top of his.
David wasn’t sure how to accept the fact that his wife wasn’t ready to attack him with a sharp comment or throw his mistakes up in his face. Looking into her eyes, David remembered the reasons that he had fallen in love with her so many years ago.
Suddenly, David realized that it wasn’t Ida that he didn’t like. All this time, he had thought he was angry with her, but it was himself that he truly disliked.
“I’m not coming home yet, David,” Ida announced slowly, “I’m not going to let Lucas be in the midst of all this. But we will come home eventually. Ach, David,” Ida slowly shook her head, her eyes filling with tears, “When we
