The hot drink settled her stomach but she didn’t think anything would help her heart. Guilt, misery, and expected loneliness fought for possession of that fragile organ, and at the moment, guilt had the edge. Still, one thing was certain. Leaving here was going to be hell.
She put on her coat and waited by the door with her suitcase, feeling like the victim of an earthquake. An emotional one. Luke took her face between his palms and kissed her, a long, deep, soul-satisfying kiss.
“Remember this when you fall asleep at night, sweet Julia,” he said. “I know I will.”
“Yes,” she whispered, her throat tightening.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
The hotel bill would be sent to Luke’s office so they went directly to his car. They tried to make small talk on the ride into Boston, but Julia’s mind was too preoccupied. Discussing business wasn’t even an option. Both of them avoided the elephant sitting in the car with them.
Finally, Luke let her be.
“Don’t worry about the contract,” he told her. “I’ll get in touch with Claire and we’ll work things out.”
“Oh, Luke. The contract.” Damn. “I didn’t even think about how this will impact my time.”
“Hopefully not much,” he told her. “Charles is out of the house and the final deed is almost done, whatever happens with this latest crisis. I know you’ll be wound up getting your kids through this. Claire and I will take care of whatever has to be done.”
When they pulled up to the curb at the airport, Luke killed the engine, undid his seat belt, and reached for her. “I can’t let you go like this, with everything still so unsettled between us. I wanted time to make plans, to think of a future together.”
“Oh, Luke. Me, too.” Tears spilled from her eyes and etched tracks on her cheeks. “This is so damn unfair.”
“Damn right it is,” he told her roughly. “Go on. Go home and see to your kids. They’re what’s important right now. Call me, okay?”
“I will.”
“We’ll get through this, Julia. I’m here for you. Don’t doubt that for a moment. This isn’t the end, it’s a beginning.”
“Oh, God, how I want to believe that.” She fisted her hands. “This is a terrible thing to say, but it’s just like Charles to find a way to screw things up for me.”
Luke’s laugh was without humor. “I’m sure he didn’t give himself a heart attack just to punish you.”
“He’s capable of anything.” Damn him. “Alright. Let me get home and see what the situation is and go from there.”
He got out of the car, opened her door, and took out her suitcase. They stood for a moment looking at each other and she drank in the sight of him. A light snow began to fall and the soft flakes dropped easily on their heads and faces, but neither of them seemed to notice.
“There is so much I wish I could say to you right this minute,” he told her. “There just isn’t enough time.”
“Me, too.” She touched her fingers to his lips. “But don’t. Please. It’s hard enough as it is. We’ll have time when things settle down.”
“Let’s hope,” he muttered. “All right. Be sure to let me know how things are. I’ll be worried about you. Here. Give me your cell phone.”
She pulled it out of her purse and handed it to him. He punched some numbers and gave it back to her.
“There. My private number’s in there. I’m speed dial number one. I’ll have my phone on all the time. Call me whenever.”
“Oh, Luke.” Her voice broke and she dug deep to get control of herself. “Why couldn’t we have met fifteen years ago?”
“I don’t think we would have been ready for each other then.” He kissed her one last time, then enfolded her in his arms. “Just remember. No matter what happens in your life, you will always be mine.”
“Yes, I will.” She fought tears and clung to him as if she’d never let him go before taking a step back. “Goodbye, Luke.” And then she couldn’t help herself. “I love you.” She yanked up the handle of her suitcase and nearly ran into the terminal, dragging the luggage behind her.
Julia went through check-in and security as if in a fog. She bought herself another cup of tea and sat in the waiting area, sipping at the hot liquid, hoping it would ease the sudden chill invading her. The man sitting next to her was kind enough to nudge her when the call for boarding came. She entered the plane and took her seat like a robot, buckled in and leaned her head back.
Images flashed through her mind: she and Luke dancing, bodies moving slowly to the music, their first night together, the wonder of exploring each other’s bodies, the night in the cabin, warmed by the flames of the fire, their kiss at the airport, more poignant than sensual.
What a mess. The damn divorce papers still unsigned and now she had no idea when or how they would be. Luke had said he would wait but for how long? And how would the twins handle this? Their relationship with their father left a lot to be desired yet surely this would affect them emotionally. Her life was slowly being flushed down the toilet and she was left with a very inadequate plunger. Tears begin to trickle from the corners of her eyes, and her stomach knotted.
“Excuse me.” The flight attendant was leaning towards her, over the empty seat next to her. “Forgive me for asking but is something wrong?”
“No.” Julia sniffled, then tried on a smile. “Just fighting a cold is all.”
“Can I get you anything?” The attendant was obviously concerned.
“Some hot tea would be nice, if you could. And thank you.” Maybe she could drown herself in an ocean of the stuff.
“Tea it is. Coming right up.”
She realized as she sipped the hot liquid, she would now always associate it with Luke. She hoped she would still
