“Beth!” Julia’s hand twitched on the phone, because her daughter was so close to what had worried her every day during the week.
“I mean it. Dad’s been gone for years and Andy and I are good to go. It’s just you and the hormonal teenager.” She paused. “It might do her some good to see you with some male company.”
“Are you sure you haven’t been talking to Claire?”
“Uh uh. But if she’s singing the same song, good for her. It means you have to listen. Bye. Gotta run.”
Julia was still holding the phone when it rang again, the sound making her jump.
“You have a call holding for you, Mrs. Patterson.” Margot, their receptionist, refused to call them by their first names, even though she’d been with them for five years now. It always made both Claire and Julia smile.
“Okay. Put it through.” She was flipping through the stack of messages Margot brought in a few minutes before when, paying little attention, the voice at her ear jerked her upright.
“So. We’re on for tomorrow night, right?”
Julia swore the deep timbre of Luke’s voice vibrated through the connection. It certainly pulsed through her. She nearly dropped the receiver. For a long moment, she couldn’t make her mouth work to say anything.
“Julia? You there?”
“Uh…um…yes.” She exhaled slowly. In for a penny, she thought. “Hi.” Wow. Didn’t she just sound like an idiot? Her palms were sweating and her heart thudded against her ribs.
“Tomorrow night,” he prompted.
“Yes. Tomorrow night.” Suddenly she was tired of making excuses, to herself as well as Claire. She was an adult. It was time to tell Luke everything and pray he’d understand. She thought for a moment. “There’s a great little restaurant just at the north edge of the city that I’ve been dying to try.” She gave him the name and location. “Sound good to you? I can meet you there.”
“Julia.” He spoke in a quiet voice. “I thought maybe we’d go to someplace on the Riverwalk. Are you trying to hide me away?”
“N-No. Not at all. I…just like to be…away from people. I’m with them all week.”
More silence.
“All right. I’ll take you at your word. This time. Is there some reason why I can’t pick you up at the house?”
If he only knew.
“I just think it would be better if we met there.” Until she could lay everything out for him and deal with his reaction.
“All right.” Then he added, “This time. Is eight o’clock good for you?”
“That’ll be fine. See you then.” She hung up before her discipline broke down and she blurted everything out to him.
Something caught her eye and she looked up to see Claire leaning in the doorway.
“Please tell me you’re going out with him again.”
Julia shrugged. “I guess. Beth is taking Courtney and Luke threatened to show up on my doorstep if I didn’t.”
“Are you going to tell him everything?”
She pushed her chair back from her desk. “After.”
“After what?”
“After we spend the night together without all that crap interfering.”
Claire laughed. “At least you’re calling it crap. That’s a start.”
* * * *
By the next day, Julia was a nervous wreck. It had taken every bit of personal discipline to get through the week dealing with Courtney at home and the Connell Wilson contract at work, not to mention overseeing the projects for other clients. She’d called Luke at his office that morning, hands trembling as she punched in his private number.
“I hope this isn’t a call trying to cancel tonight,” were his first words.
As usual, the deep voice rumbled across the connection and sent shivers skittering along her spine.
“No. Not at all.” She wet her lips. “I realized I forgot to tell you this place is casual. In case you wanted to stop at home and change first, I mean.”
“Julia.” She could almost see the half-smile on his face. “What I wear isn’t as important as who I’ll be with. But thanks for the heads-up.” He paused. “Eight o’clock, right?”
“Yes. If that’s okay. It’ll give me a chance to go home myself and change.”
“See you then.”
He clicked off and she sat there holding the receiver for a long moment. A sound made her look up to see Claire standing in the doorway.
“I’m going to charge you with lurking,” Julia said, half teasing. “You’re always hanging out in my doorway.”
“It’s the only way I find anything out.” Claire laughed. She walked in and sat down in one of the client chairs. “Don’t screw this up, Julia. You’ve done penance long enough and for what? Give yourself a break. Luke’s a good man. Hang on to him.”
“I know, I know.”
“I hope so. I really do. It’s time. If Luke’s living and working in San Antonio now, you can’t hide Courtney away forever.”
“I hear you.” She exhaled a long breath.
“All right.” Claire stood up. “I’ll be crossing all my fingers for you.”
Julia finished her work with Claire’s words echoing in her head and closed up for the day. At home, she showered, dressed, and applied her makeup, the words repeating over and over like a mantra. Images slammed into her of Luke unexpectedly meeting Courtney and the shock on his face. Of Andy and Beth looking at her as if they’d never seen her. Of Rod Maguire as he was each time she ran into him, intense dislike blazing in his eyes.
She sprayed herself with perfume, applied lip gloss, and stared at herself in the mirror. Who was she, anyway? Who was the real Julia Patterson? Mother? Widow? Business executive?
Lover?
Had she been so busy finding herself that she’d again lost the real Julia?
She had a chance with Luke again. Did she have the courage to reach out and grab it with both hands?
She checked her watch. No time for mind-bending ruminating now. She wanted tonight just for the two of them. Tomorrow, at breakfast, maybe in a restaurant where he’d have to keep his outrage under control, she’d
