“Beth…”
“I’m not through. We have friends whose parents got divorced, or in a couple of cases one parent died. They always seemed to move on, have full, rich lives. Meet other people. Find good relationships. We never knew why you chose not to do this.” She turned to face Julia. “If you and Daddy were practically divorced when you met Mr. Buchanan, why did you walk away from him? And if you felt you owed it to Daddy to nurse him those last few months, why didn’t you call him after…after the funeral?”
Pain lanced through Julia. Why, indeed.
“There were…reasons,” was the only thing she could find to say.
Beth shook her head. “Not good enough. If there were reasons, tell me about them. Tell us. Didn’t you think Courtney deserved to know who her real father was? Maybe to have him as an influence in her life when she was growing up?”
“Yes, didn’t you?”
The words were almost a shout. Julia and Beth turned to see Courtney standing at the entrance to the kitchen, the expression on her face an emotional cocktail of so much pain, Julia rushed to her to put her arms around her.
“You heard?”
“Of course I heard. I sat on the stairs listening. How else am I supposed to find out anything?” She pushed her mother away. “Don’t. Don’t touch me. How could you? How could you never tell me there was a father somewhere who might have loved me? Wanted to be with me? Just…wanted me?”
“Courtney. Honey.” Julia tried to reach for her again but the girl stepped away.
“Stay away from me. My whole life has been a lie. I thought my grandparents—no, Charles’s parents—hated me because of something I’d done. But it wasn’t me. It was you. They hated you, and punished me because of it.”
Beth rushed to her sister, grabbed one of her hands. “Trust me, Court. You would never have wanted to suffer through those damned visits the way Andy and I did. It was worse than the tortures of the damned.” She brushed a stray hair form her face. “Thank God we finally reached a point where we all agreed it could stop.”
“But I had no one,” Courtney cried. “No one at all.”
“Ssh, ssh.” Beth tried to hug her. “There’s always been Andy and me. And Mom. Look at her, kiddo. See how much she’s hurting? She loves you more than you can imagine.”
“No.” Courtney wrenched herself away. “She only loves herself. And her secrets. So many secrets.” She ran from the room. In a moment, they heard the slam of her bedroom door.
Julia looked at Beth. “Well, that went well. Not.” She felt as if she were crumbling into a million pieces.
“Are you going to tell me the last of the deep dark secrets? The reason for all of this?”
“If you promise not to hate me.” God, she sounded sop pitiful.
Beth hugged her. “We could never hate you, don’t you know that?” She took her mother’s hand. “Now give.”
It took every ounce of courage Julia could dredge up to spit out the shameful story. If Beth had ever had any love for her father, Julia was sure this would kill it completely as the litany of events unfolded. Julia stared down at her lap while she spelled out the terms Charles had imposed, afraid to look at her child, afraid of what she’d see in her face.
“Is that all of it?” Beth asked when she finished.
“Yes. Every bit. My only excuse is that I was trying to protect everyone. I was in a very vulnerable place and didn’t have the strength to fight. I’ve had a lot of years to regret it.”
“Okay.”
Julia finally looked up at her daughter and was stunned at the fury in her eyes. “Please don’t hate me. Bethie. I—”
“Hate you? Oh, God.” She reached out to give her mother a hug. “How could I hate you? If I hate anyone it’s that bastard you married—I refuse to call him our father—and that smug son of a bitch Rod McGuire. How could they do that to you? To us? To Courtney?”
“Those letters—”
“Are nothing more than pieces of paper. Don’t you think we know how much you love us? Besides, you aren’t the first person caught in a situation like this and won’t be the last. I’m just sorry you had to waste so many years with Mr. Buchanan.” She made a rude noise. “I guarantee you he’d have been a lot nicer to us than our so-called father.”
“I’m so sorry.” Julia fought back tears. “If it’s any consolation, I had already made up my mind to tell him. This morning at breakfast. And then to talk to all of you, but Courtney first. I want you to believe that.”
“Mom. Oh, Mom.” Beth tugged her from her chair and pulled her into a hug. “Of course I do. I told you. We love you. And together we’ll figure a way to sort this all out.”
“Luke probably hates me now,” she whispered. “I deserve it.
“I promise you he doesn’t. He might be upset. Even a little angry. But hate you? Not from the way he looked at you.”
“But I’m going to make this right,” Julia promised, her voice stronger. “For everyone. Somehow. In fact—”
The ringing of the phone interrupted her. And it continued to ring.
“Are you going to answer it?” Beth asked when Julia didn’t move.
The ringing stopped at last, only to start up again a moment later.
“I’ll get it.” Julia reached for the phone.
“No, let me.” Beth picked up the receiver. “Hello? Yes, she’s right here. Oh, and it was nice meeting you this morning. I hope we get to see you again.” She covered the mouthpiece with her hand. “He doesn’t sound like he’s going to shoot you.” She smiled and handed the phone to her mother.
Julia swallowed twice before she was sure she could say a word. “Luke?”
“I think we need to sit down and have a talk.” There was pain in
