“My God. I have to make him a salad?”
“It only takes a few minutes, Aunt Ed. I buy the bagged broccoli slaw, then add some zucchini and yellow squash. Also, some kale. He loves kale. And nuts, like walnuts. Just give him a whole nut and he can crack it and get the meat out.”
“My God. He’s a gourmet?”
“You should feed him some fruit, too. He loves strawberries and kumquats—”
“Kumquats,” Debbie Sue said. “When was the last time I saw a kumquat, much less ate one?” She turned to Aunt Ed. “Does City Market sell kumquats? Or kale?”
“Hell, we’re lucky to get lettuce,” Aunt Ed answered. “I see both my grocery bill and my gasoline bill climbing. What else?”
“Oh, some blueberries, grapes...any of the dark fruits that are high in antioxidants.”
“Dark fruits. Antioxidants,” Debbie Sue said. “I should get a pencil and take notes.”
“I wrote it all down in a tablet and put it in his tub. Taking notes until you get used to his routine might help. A vegetable chopper is in the tub, too. It’s just an ordinary Hamilton Beach brand I got at Walmart. It’s perfect for chopping his food. I just put everything into the bowl and chop it up together. Takes only a few minutes.
“Oh, and you should sprinkle some of the parrot mash over his food when you offer it to him. It absorbs the fruit juices and enables him to get the benefit of the juice. Oh, and one more thing. At home, he has a table in his room to eat on. He seems to eat better if his food is sort of spread out on a table. In their natural environment, African Greys eat off the ground, like chickens do.”
“Hells bells, Sandi. I thought I just had to put a few seeds in a little cup. You didn’t tell me he was going to be a gourmet diner in his own room with his own table. Do we need to hire him a chef?” Aunt Edwina cackled.
“Here’s an idea,” Debbie Sue said. “You could simplify things if you and Vic started eating like he does, Ed. More veggies and less chicken-fried steak.”
“Are you kidding? Veggies ain’t replacing chicken-fried steak at our house. You know how Vic loves to cook. Now that I think about it, cooking for Jake will give him new purpose. On the other hand, knowing Vic, if Jake gets to be too much trouble, we’ll be eating chicken-fried parrot.”
Instantly she slapped her hand over her lips. “Ohmygod. I’m sorry.” She bent down and looked eye-to-eye at Jake. “I’m was kidding, Jake-O, okay? Just kidding.”
Jake cocked his head, closed his eyes and garbled something unintelligible.
“I’m not sure he has a sense of humor, Aunt Ed. I doubt he understands sarcasm.”
Edwina flipped a palm in the air. “Whatever. Don’t worry, I’m telling you. I’ll find the stuff he likes.”
“What else is in this tub?” Debbie Sue asked. She walked over and snapped the lid off the plastic storage tub. She lifted out the large spray bottle Sandi used to shower Jake. “What’s this?”
“It’s the spray bottle I use to give Jake a shower.”
“Did you say shower?” Aunt Ed asked.
“It sprays a fine mist. Don’t use the shower head, Aunt Ed. I think it’s too much water all at once. I just put his perch in the shower, he stands on it and I spritz him. He really loves it. You need to do it, oh, about once a week, I guess. Oh, and sometimes I let him play in the kitchen sink.”
“Eww. Yuck. The kitchen sink?” Her aunt stood there blinking, her dark brown eyes magnified by her thick glasses lenses. “I thought he said he didn’t like getting wet.”
“What he doesn’t like is water pouring on him. He seems to enjoy the fine mist the most. He hops around, even spreads his wings so you can spray under them. It’s so cute.”
“You’d better get on the road,” Debbie Sue said. “The longer you stay and talk, the more horrified your aunt gets.” She turned to Aunt Ed. “Don’t worry about it, Ed. Vic can shower him. Or maybe you could mist both of them together.” Debbie Sue belly-laughed. “I can already see it.”
Sandi managed a small laugh. “I guess that’s everything.” She gave a great sigh. “You can call me, of course, if you have any questions or any problems. And you can surf the Internet. There’s a lot of information on the Net and some good videos on YouTube.”
“I’m kind of a dinosaur when it comes to the computer, but Debbie Sue can look stuff up.”
Sandi nodded. “I have to go.” She turned to the cage, put her hand inside, brought Jake out and smoothed a finger over his head. “Mama’s going to leave you now. Try not to miss me. I’ll be thinking about you.”
Jake cocked his head and garbled from deep in his throat. “Kisses?”
“Ooh,” she whined. “Look at that. He knows I’m leaving. He’s going to miss me.” She sniffled and placed a gentle kiss on his beak. “Mama loves you, baby.”
He cooed softly.
Debbie Sue began to whimper. “That’s the sweetest thing I ever saw. He loves you, too, Sandi.”
“I know.”
Edwina sniffed, too. She grabbed another Kleenex out of a box on her station counter. “Don’t you worry, Sandi. Vic and I’ll take good care of him. He’ll have everything he wants. Hell, I’ll even hunt down tarantulas for him to eat.”
Sandi restrained her tears for a moment and frowned. “Those big hairy spiders? I doubt if he likes tarantulas, Aunt Ed.”
“Never mind. It was another joke. Obviously not a good one.”
Sandi left the Styling Station in tears. Her aunt and Debbie Sue stood in the doorway, wiping their eyes and blowing their noses. Black mascara had made trails down Aunt Ed’s cheeks. According to Sandi’s mother, Aunt Ed had been
