‘This is it,’ says Lachlan, and in the next instant you see the canvas tents, the little campfire, and a man stepping out from behind a fallen tree, raising a musket.
‘Whoa!’ shouts Lachlan. ‘It’s us. I’ve brought Patrick’s daughter.’
The man lowers his musket, and tugs a black handkerchief down from his face to reveal a wild auburn beard. It’s Da.
He runs to you, and you let him sweep you down off the horse’s back like you weigh no more than a child. He presses you to his chest. He smells of bush smoke, woollen jumpers, and a musky, familiar smell that you haven’t breathed since you were thirteen years old. You don’t want the hug to ever end.
He breaks away and looks at you, cups your face in his hand, his fingers rough. His voice is husky with tears.
‘My darling, it’s a dream come true. Just look at you. You’re not a child but a young woman. Riding a horse better than most men I know – your granny Catherine was the same and would be right proud. Tell me you didn’t suffer too much these last years.’
‘It’s all right now, Da,’ you choke out. ‘The thing I suffered from most was missing you.’
‘And I, too. Nothing those redcoats did to me could break me, nor anything I endured on the run, for I knew I had to find you. And now I have.’
You bury your face in his chest again and let the tears overtake you. Suddenly, the part of you that has been brave for so long – that has endured your mother’s death, Newgate Prison, transportation, the Hobart Town gaol, losing Sarah yet again – can finally let go. You feel safe, enveloped in love, for the first time in years. You let the feeling flood through you, and you finally feel, with Da by your side, that Van Diemen’s Land is home.
Da looks up at Lachlan. ‘Thank you, O’Riordan,’ he says, ‘for bringing my daughter to me. After today, I’ll have to go on the run once more, but I hope I can send you word once or twice a year so we can meet again …’
‘Once or twice a year!’ you blurt. ‘After all this time? Da, I don’t want to spend another minute without you!’
‘Nor do I without you,’ he agrees. ‘But I’m an outlaw – I have to keep moving, you see. It’s the noose for me if they catch me this time.’
‘Then I’ll come on the run with you,’ you announce.
‘Darling, I wouldn’t put you through that. It’s a tough and uncertain life – your bed a sack under a bush; your food a possum, if you can catch one; the land full of cruel men hunting you down. There’s nothing romantic about it. There’s another life waiting for you, a much better one.’
Da looks at Lachlan and smiles. Lachlan flushes a deep red and his voice is trembling when he next speaks.
‘Mr Ryan, with your permission, I’d like to ask your daughter a question.’
Lachlan picks up a gumleaf and rolls it into a circle just the right size for a finger. He gets down on one knee, and his eyes seem to dance with reflections from the campfire. He brushes his hair aside awkwardly, and takes a deep breath.
‘Will you do me the honour of giving me your hand in marriage?’
Your heart begins to pound. Lachlan gazes up at you with a nervous smile. Da gives you a wink. Time itself seems to slow down, as if your whole life has built up to this point … this decision.
You adore Lachlan, and you want to be with him always. But if you say yes to him, you will have to leave Da behind … for now, at least.
If you say no, you’d break Lachlan’s heart – and your own – but you could stay with Da and join his gang.
What should you do?
If you turn down Lachlan and join Da’s gang, go to scene 40.
If you agree to marry Lachlan, go to scene 41.
You feel a slow, horrible ache growing in your chest, like your heart is being split in two.
Your silence hangs in the air. The campfire crackles and pops. You see the hopefulness drain from Lachlan’s face. He is still on one knee, still holding the twirled leaf in his fingertips. Your da shifts uncomfortably.
You can’t bear to say the word ‘no’ aloud, but everyone knows what you are thinking. Lachlan gets to his feet. He can’t meet your eye. He brushes the leaf litter from his knee.
‘If I said yes, could you stay here, with me and Da?’ you ask him weakly, already knowing the answer.
Lachlan, it seems, can’t bring himself to speak. So Da answers for him: ‘Lachlan’s work for a free Ireland is too important to give up. He must continue – no matter what.’
Lachlan nods sadly.
You slowly shake your head.
‘Darling, he’s a good man—’ begins your father.
‘I know he is – the best I’ll ever find,’ you interject. ‘But I can’t leave you, Da. I’ve been chained and gaoled; you’ve been whipped and worked to within an inch of your life. You’ve climbed mountains to find me, and I’ve crossed oceans to find you. So many times, either one of us could have died. The fact that we haven’t – that we’re standing here, free and face to face … that means more to me than anything in the world right now. I can’t let it go. I’m so sorry, Lachlan.’ The last part comes out as a croak.
Lachlan bows to you deeply, and turns to leave. The sight of his bowed back is awful. You’d do almost anything to take the pain from him … anything
