Yeah, so that probably wasn’t a good idea.
Then there was his personal favorite: distraction. He could just kiss the hell out of her, which he knew worked every time. But that would only be a temporary reprieve. It was truth time, and not only that but he also needed to start being honest with himself. From the second he’d met Audrey, he’d stopped being interested in other women.
“Yeah, you caught me,” he admitted. “I’m not really looking anymore.”
Audrey’s face fell, but only for a moment, because she gathered herself quickly. “You gave up that easily, huh?”
Cameron picked up the ball again, needing something to do with his hands, lest he tear her clothes off. “No, I haven’t given up.” He looked at her and held her gaze for a moment. “I stopped looking when I met you. Actually,” he continued with a shrug, “I don’t think I was ever really looking, because I didn’t care.”
Audrey’s throat worked as she swallowed. Her mouth opened, then snapped shut, followed by a laugh that sounded more nervous. “What’re you saying, Cameron?”
He cupped her chin and tugged her face closer to his. “I’m saying I haven’t cared about any other woman since I met you. I’m saying you’re the one who would make me…” His words trailed off, because his brain couldn’t seem to find the right ones to describe how he felt. Because he’d never felt like this before, and putting those feelings into words was way harder than he thought it would be.
Audrey’s tongue swiped across her full lower lip. He’d made her nervous. But at least she wasn’t running through her weird lists of names again. “Make you what?”
He cleared his throat and continued to hold fast on to her jaw. “Be better.”
She offered him a small smile. “Maybe I don’t want you to be better. Maybe I like you just the way you are.”
“I want to be better,” he corrected.
She shook her head, and he finally let go of her. “But you don’t need me for that.”
He grabbed her shoulders, needing her to understand. “Hell, yes, I do.”
She licked her lips again, and damn, he was this close to kissing her. “Cameron—”
“Don’t go back to Boulder,” he interrupted.
Her eyes grew wide. “I have to.”
He shrugged that off. “Okay, fine go back and tie up loose ends. But come back and don’t leave again.”
One of her brows arched. “Is that an order?”
“You know what I mean,” he answered.
“Actually, I’m not sure I do.”
He blew out a breath, getting the feeling he was blowing this. He was stumbling over his words too much, or not using enough finesse to get his point across. And what was his point? He wanted her to stay in Blanco Valley. He wanted her to move all her shit to his house and sleep in his bed. He wanted to turn the guest room into a girly, pink room for Piper. Hell, he’d even buy the damn cat her own bed.
But how could he make Audrey understand that? He’d never been good with words, and he knew that’s what she was waiting for.
He shoved a hand through his too-long hair. “I got a job offer in Denver,” he told her. “To be the head coach for a high school up there.”
She gaped at him for so long, Cameron wasn’t sure she was going to answer. “Congratulations,” she finally said.
He wanted to grab her and shake her. “That’s all you’re going to say? You’re not going to get all pissy for not telling you or possibly uprooting Piper again?”
“Do you want me to get pissy?” she asked.
He stood from the steps and glared down at her. “I want you to be honest. I want you to stomp your foot and yell at me for not thinking of Piper first. I want you to tell me to stay.”
She stood on the bottom step, so they were eye level. “If I tell you to stay, will you?”
Damn, this conversation wasn’t going as planned. “I haven’t decided yet.”
She jerked as though he’d stuck her. “Then why did you ask me?”
“Jesus,” he muttered to himself. He always felt like he was talking in circles with this woman. “I don’t know. I thought I did, but…” His words trailed off because, dammit, he didn’t know anymore.
Her eyes searched his, looking dangerously close to welling up. “But what?” When he didn’t answer, she went on. “I can’t tell you what to do, Cameron.”
“But you want to,” he guessed. Actually, it wasn’t a guess. He knew she was dying to blurt out all her feelings.
“What, are you waiting for me to tell you what to do? You won’t make a decision unless you know how I feel about it?”
Was that what he was doing? Was that why he’d waited so long to have this discussion? Her opinion mattered to him, and yet he knew the decision was solely his. So why was he having such a hard time?
Audrey glanced over her shoulder as though looking for someone else. “You don’t even know what you want, do you?”
That wasn’t true. He knew he wanted her and Piper. Hell, he wanted the whole family thing. But was he willing to give up his dream offer?
“Audrey—”
“You can’t have it all, Cameron,” she interrupted. “I can see the wheels turning in your mind. You’re trying to figure out a way to tie the whole package together the way you want it.”
That wasn’t what he was doing. Was it?
With a frustrated groan, Cameron ran a hand over his head. “Audrey,” he said again. He opened his mouth to tell her…Hell, he didn’t know what he wanted to tell her. Yeah, he wanted this job. He wanted Audrey too. But he didn’t know how to do both. She didn’t even live here, and he couldn’t bring himself to ask her to give up her life for him. Especially when he didn’t even know where he was going.
Audrey shook her head. “You know where
