“God, Tess, I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”
“We’re in the pharmaceutical business. We know what death is, or rather what decomposition is. It’s different when it’s your family. It never goes away. The girls always smelled like the strawberry shampoo I used on their hair. I can’t call up that smell at all, but their death scent, that I can. It haunts me.
“I’ve tried for years to push these thoughts aside, but I can’t anymore. And now, here they are. Digging, poking into the earth, searching for some piece of evidence to exonerate me. Change my life. For the better, and all I can think of is that fucking smell.”
“Tess, it’s okay to have these feelings. You need to talk about them. Stop persecuting yourself. This was not your fault.”
Sam got up and went to the kitchen, coming back with a wad of paper towels. “Here,” he said, handing them to her. When she didn’t take them, he used them to wipe her tears. His touch was gentle, caring.
“Sam, don’t,” she said.
“Stop it, already! You’re punishing yourself for feeling. It’s all right, Tess.”
She shook her head. “Nothing will ever be all right again. No matter what happens.”
A tap on the glass doors interrupted their conversation.
It was Harry.
Sam motioned for him to come inside.
Harry was dripping with sweat even though the December morning wasn’t as humid as it normally was. He removed a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed at his forehead.
“Harry, let’s go into the kitchen. I’ll get you a cold drink. Tess?”
They both followed Sam into the kitchen. Tessa stood next to the door that led to the garage, while Harry sat at the bar and gulped down the last of the iced tea. “Thanks.”
“What are you even searching for?” Tessa asked Harry. “Didn’t they examine every inch of this place already?”
“That’s what I plan to find out.” He stood up. “I’m going back to the lab for now, but my crew will continue searching. If they find anything to report, I’ll let you know.” Harry gave a halfhearted salute, then left through the glass doors in the living room.
Tessa and Sam went into the living room and sat down in the chairs near the window. Neither Tessa nor Sam spoke for a minute.
Sam spoke first.
“They may not find anything, Tessa. Everything was searched before, and nothing turned up. And as of now, there are no other suspects—”
“There’s Liam, for heaven’s sake. How in the hell can you forget him? He’s been off the map since . . . since the murders! I know he’s responsible for this. My daughters told me. He told them he would kill them and their family if they told. Liam must have known . . .”
How would he have known that the girls told her what he’d done to them? She had told no one, no one except Jill.
“I need to make a phone call, Sam. I’ll just be a minute,” Tessa said, then raced into the kitchen, where she could speak in private. Her heart raced at this new revelation. Why hadn’t she thought of this before?
She sat on one of the barstools with the phone in her hand and dialed Jill’s number from memory. It was a weekday. She would be in her office.
“Dr. Ambers’ office. This is Amanda,” replied a friendly voice.
“I need to speak with Dr. Ambers.”
“Are you a patient? If so, I’ll be happy to take your number and have her return your call as soon as possible.”
“No, I’m not a patient. I used to be her best friend. Tell her it’s Tessa, and it’s an emergency.” She wasn’t her best friend anymore, but she didn’t care about that now. She needed to speak with Jill ASAP.
“Please hold,” the pleasant voice instructed.
She waited.
“Tessa?” Jill Ambers sounded as if she didn’t believe it was her.
“The one and only,” she confirmed. “I need to see you, Jill. It’s urgent. I’m sure you have heard the news. Can you come here to the house? You’ll have to go around to the back. The media.”
“Tessa, it’s so good to hear your voice, and hell, yes, I heard the news. It’s on every station. Of course I’ll come to see you; just name the time and place. You know, I tried to visit you . . . in prison. They told me you didn’t want to see me. Not that it matters now,” Jill said. “I’ll cancel my appointments for the rest of the day. I can be at your place within a half hour.”
Tessa breathed a sigh of relief. She had refused Jill’s visits because they were a reminder of all the evil Poppy and Piper suffered. It wasn’t Jill’s fault, it was the memories. “Thank you, Jill. I’m sorry about the visits. I just couldn’t. It . . . hurt. Still does. But that’s in the past, and I hope you’ll forgive me.”
“Of course. I have already. I had an idea that you were suffering. I am a forensic psychiatrist, remember?”
“I know. I need to talk to you about that weekend,” Tessa stated, tucking her emotions away in that safe place in the back of her mind. “It’s urgent.”
“Give me half an hour,” Jill said. “I know this probably isn’t the right time, but I need you to know how much your reaching out to me means. I have watched the news reports. Hell, I have wanted to smack a few of those plumped-up blond reporters who try to pass themselves off as intelligent. Every time they said your name, it pissed me off.”
Tessa smiled. This was the Jill she knew. She had not changed one bit.
“Thanks, Jill. That’s what I needed to hear. I’ll see you shortly,” Tessa said,
