‘No. I mean, I’ve swum here before. I just want to explore a bit more,’ I said.
‘Right,’ he said, pointing. ‘There’s another good spot further up if you don’t mind climbing a bit. We have to walk along the creek. There’s no track down from the path.’
‘I don’t mind.’ We continued on upstream. ‘This is where we looked for Dylan,’ I said, climbing over a huge rock wrapped in giant roots.
‘And where you fell?’ he said, turning to look back at me.
‘Yeah. Back there.’ A rush of nerves coursed through me as I remembered the image of Mum. But then I reminded myself that I’d tried to make her come back and she’d declined. Maybe she was gone for good now. Perhaps she had just been checking in on me before she took off to wherever it was that she was going.
Then there was the other possibility.
The one where I was losing my mind.
Near the waterhole, the creek slowed and pooled, but as we climbed higher up the gorge the crashing of a waterfall drowned out our conversation. We clambered up the slope beside the steep falls until we came to the top where the gorge levelled out once more.
‘Okay.’ Matt threw down his towel. ‘How’s this?’
‘It’s beautiful,’ I said, admiring the series of small pools that wound around the boulders. I walked to the edge and watched the water spill over the lip of rock, falling and crashing like splintering glass below.
Matt came up behind me. ‘Found it when I was drawing one day. No-one comes up here. At least, I’ve never seen anyone.’
A chill went through my body and I shuddered, listening to the water explode in a dull roar at the bottom of the gorge. One step forward and I could tumble straight down, three storeys. I shook myself.
‘What’s wrong?’ Matt said.
‘Nothing. I guess I was just thinking about the fall.’
‘Come away from the edge.’ He grabbed my wrist and gently pulled me toward him.
‘Do you ever think about what might’ve happened to Dylan?’ I said.
The smile faded from his soft eyes and he frowned. ‘Of course.’ He let go of my arm. ‘But I don’t like to think about it too much. Come on. Let’s have a swim.’ He walked back over to his towel and stripped off his shirt. I had to look. I was only human.
‘But, do you think he’s still out here somewhere?’ I said, trying not to stare too hard at his tanned back and shoulders.
He shrugged. ‘Maybe.’
‘Did you ever meet him?’ I walked over to sit on a rock and looked out across the lush valley.
‘All these questions.’
‘Sorry.’
‘I didn’t see him a lot. He mostly hung around with the farm kids.’ Matt came and leant against my rock, his back to me. ‘Mum dragged me to a fete a couple of months ago. He was there with some other kids. I didn’t talk to them.’
‘Why not?’
‘They didn’t talk to me.’
I knew what Matt meant. There were two types of people in Kelly’s Crossing, the insiders like Zara’s family, who were the farmers and property owners – they wore cowboy hats, boots, the works – and then there were the outsiders, consisting of any other blow-ins from out of town. And Kelly’s Crossing attracted drifters. It was a good place to disappear from the outside world, on a budget.
‘He wasn’t from here, though, was he?’ I asked.
‘No, I don’t think so. I think they came here a few years ago on the cheap-rent scheme. We did the same. First two months is rent free if you sign a year-long lease. My mum reckons they’re trying to stop this town from dying.’
‘Maybe they should just put it out of its misery,’ I said.
He turned to face me. ‘Actually, I kind of like it here.’
I frowned. ‘Really? But people are so … I don’t know.’
‘But you work at the fish and chip shop, don’t you?’
‘Yeah. I won’t even ask how you know that, but what’s your point?’
‘So that practically makes you a local.’
‘You think? I dunno. Maybe it’s just me. I still feel like an interloper.’
‘An interloper?’ He nodded. ‘Nice word.’
‘An outsider then.’
He laughed. ‘I know what you mean. Dylan always seemed to fit in, though.’
‘Yeah, I guess.’ I thought back to Dylan arriving at the dance, waving to Kevin, smiling. He was just like any other kid. ‘I saw him around a few times. Kevin knew him a bit.’ I was dancing around the subject, trying to see what Matt thought. Had he even considered Kevin’s involvement?
‘So. You coming in or not?’ Matt didn’t take the bait.
‘Yeah. In a sec. You go.’
Matt waded into the pool and slowly submerged until the surface became an undulating mirror in his wake.
I sat on the rock with my knees up, the sun licking at my shoulders with the warm, soft tongue of a distant fire. I lay back and closed my eyes. The water hushed the valley and the ancient rocks hummed beneath my hands. I felt as though the earth was alive beneath me, its pulse swelling from below, the slow, powerful thrum and whoosh of a heart that beat once every thousand years.
Matt’s splashing sounded distant and other-worldly as the sun sedated me. I could have fallen asleep there on the rock, like a lizard drinking in the sun. Time was stretched so thinly here it disappeared into the endless blue sky. For a few moments I felt the comfort of belonging to some kind of eternity.
I heard the water ripple and footsteps crunch. I opened my eyes. The glare was overpowering, I couldn’t see. Then Matt’s face was above mine. I felt cold drips on my warm skin.
‘I thought you said you were coming in,’ he said.
I stared up at him, his face haloed by the sun, his eyes warm and dark. He placed his hands on either side of my shoulders and leant closer, so close I could feel the vibration of his skin.
‘Wow. You
