‘Thanks. But you don’t have to do that,’ I said.
‘It’s no problem. It’s just me and Russell at home. Besides, poor Kevin’s going through hell, someone’s got to support him.’
I ignored her not-so-subtle hint and swung my legs out of bed. He wasn’t the only one going through hell.
I’d just had a shower and was feeling partially human again when I heard Matt’s voice call through the back door. I quickly brushed my hair and, after checking my face for any major horrors, went to the kitchen.
‘Still got company?’ he said, talking to me through the screen.
‘No, she’s gone. Come in.’
‘She?’ he said.
‘Leanne. She came over and stayed last night. It’s a long story.’ I held the door open for him.
‘Is Kevin here?’
‘No.’
‘Is it okay if we hang out for a while here then?’ he said, coming through the door.
‘Sure.’
We were ‘hanging out’. I liked that. I didn’t know if it was the same as ‘going out’, but I guess it didn’t matter. I liked the feeling I had when he was around. And then there was the kiss. That had been a game changer.
I walked down the hallway and into my room but soon sensed that he wasn’t following me. ‘What’s wrong?’ I said, turning to face him. He was leaning against the hallway wall.
‘I don’t know. I just … I mean, are we going to your room?’
‘And the problem is?’
‘I don’t know. What about Kevin?’
‘I told you. He’s not here.’
‘I know but should we …’ He crossed his arms.
‘I’ve been in your room. It’s not illegal.’
‘True and true.’
‘Well?’
He shrugged and followed me into my bedroom. ‘So, where is Kevin?’ he said, lowering himself onto the rug.
‘Will you relax,’ I said.
He leant back on his arms and stretched out his legs. ‘I am relaxed. Kevin?’
‘If you must know, the police came and took him away yesterday,’ I announced recklessly, saying it before I had a chance to stop myself. I walked over to the window and stared out at the distant mountains. ‘He didn’t come home.’ I glanced back to see what Matt was thinking.
He didn’t let the surprise show on his face. ‘Was it about Dylan?’
‘Yes. What else?’
‘But why?’
I paced over to the bed. ‘Just questions, I think. I don’t know. Anyway, that’s why Leanne was here.’
‘Right.’ He nodded slowly. ‘That’s rough.’
I returned to the window. ‘Yeah. There’s a bit going on. I can’t keep up, to be honest.’
‘I guess they’re just doing their job, trying to find Dylan.’
‘I know, but they took our guns. What if he really did something?’
‘Do you think he did?’
I shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Maybe. Leanne thinks I’m being too suspicious.’
‘Well, he is your stepfather, I suppose.’
‘So what if he’s my stepfather?’
‘I don’t know. Nothing.’ He looked down at his feet. Just then Mervie nosed his way through the door and started jumping up on Matt, trying to lick his face.
I walked over and pushed the dog away. ‘Mervie! Get off.’
‘It’s okay,’ he said. ‘He’s just being friendly, aren’t you, mate?’ He scratched Mervie under the chin, which was Merv’s absolute favourite place to be scratched. Matt looked up at me. ‘Come and sit down. I think you’re the one who needs to relax.’
‘Okay.’ I slumped down onto the rug next to him. ‘Let’s not talk about Kevin. I’m sick of thinking about him.’
‘Okay then.’ He turned around and pointed at the wardrobe. ‘I see you have my drawing up.’
‘Yeah. Told you I liked it.’
‘Is that you on the horse?’
‘Yep. I was three, I think.’
‘Cute,’ he said. ‘So,’ he looked at me, a seriousness crossing his face. ‘You’re okay, then?’
I nodded. ‘Yep.’
I could feel a sense of expectation in his manner. My actions at the creek remained unresolved. I felt as though I owed him an explanation, but instead of telling him about the strange vision I offered him another morsel. I told him about my real dad, blurting it out in the hope that he’d forget about everything else.
‘He lives in Brisbane,’ I said when I’d finished telling him the few things I knew. I combed my fingers through the red pile of the rug, glancing sideways at him.
‘Right,’ he said.
‘I’m thinking of going to see him. I’m going to send him an email. I’m just trying to get the right words.’
‘Right.’
‘Why do you keep saying that?’
‘What?’
‘Right.’ This wasn’t going as planned; he was supposed to be happy for me.
‘Sorry.’ He exhaled. ‘What do you want me to say?’
‘I don’t know. Maybe something like, “Sounds like a great idea, Sunny”. Maybe something encouraging.’
‘But I don’t know if it’s a great idea or not. I don’t know your dad. Is he a good guy?’
‘I don’t know. Jury’s out on that one. Mum wasn’t a huge fan, at least not after the original get together. Probably not since about then.’ I pointed to the photo.
‘Right,’ he said, and I frowned at him. ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘Force of habit.’
‘Well, it’s worth following it up, isn’t it? And even if he was a jerk before, people change. He would have been really young when I was born, like Mum. And he’s had sixteen years to mature. I don’t get why he’s never contacted me over the last thirteen years though. How can a person have a kid out there in the world and not wonder about them?’
‘Yeah, I dunno. What does Kevin think?’
I shrugged. ‘I haven’t really talked to him about it.’
‘Oh.’ Matt nodded slowly. ‘So, do you think he’ll be okay about it?’
‘I don’t know. It’s not really up to him.’ I paused. ‘I saw an email.’
‘An email?’
‘Kevin sent it to some lawyer. I think he’s applying for custody. I’m thinking that maybe if my real dad knew about what happened to Mum, he might have something to say about that. He’s my only relative. I’m half him. I’ve got his blood. That has to mean something, doesn’t it?’
‘I guess.’
‘You guess?’
‘Well blood being thicker than water doesn’t really work in my dad’s case.’
I looked at him:
